Do you ever feel as if there is a vast well of untapped potential within you, but you just aren’t sure how to unleash it, or even if you should? You might feel a sense of fear or trepidation about unleashing that potential, just because you’re not sure where it might lead.

You might be besieged with questions like, “What if I fail? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I regret it later? What if other people ridicule me or reject me?” With so much uncertainty in the mix, it feels safer to just play small, to stay where you are and avoid the unknown risks.

The problem with playing small is that it brings along its own kind of pain. Feelings of boredom, disinterest, frustration, and the unsettling fear that life is passing you by, and you’re going to miss out if you don’t do something about it. And the feelings only intensify when you are unclear about what exactly you can do to make things better.

A simple technique that can restore a sense of calm within you is to bring your attention and energy back down into your body. Overthinking often leaves you feeling unsettled and confused, while grounding yourself in the present moment can quickly usher in a sense of clarity and purpose.

To bring your energy back down into your body, sit quietly, take a deep breath in, and on the exhale imagine your body settling more firmly down onto the chair or sofa, wherever you are sitting at the moment. Focus on the solid weight of your body here in the present moment. Feel yourself being grounded firmly and comfortably in physical reality.

You can also use your hands to apply gentle pressure on your legs or clasp your hands together and squeeze gently. This keeps your attention on your physical body, rather than lost in thought. Keep breathing and bringing your attention down out of your head and back into your body, and before long you will feel much more grounded, calm, and present.

Next, imagine your energy field opening and expanding. Keep breathing slowly and deeply, and with every exhale, imagine that your energy field grows larger, like a big sphere of energy surrounding you. Within a few minutes, you should notice that you are starting to feel more clarity and confidence about your potential. You might remember a forgotten skill or talent that you always wanted to develop, or you might receive an idea about a new path that fills you with joy to consider it.

As you continue to expand your perception, imagine that your inner light is starting to glow brighter. Imagine that your brilliant inner self is awakening from a long slumber and reclaiming the enthusiasm to shine. This is the part of you that has always known that you have something valuable to share with the world and can help you to remember and fulfill that purpose. Imagine all of your fears and worries melting away in the bright light of your spirit.

Repeat this exercise daily, and before long you will feel so much enthusiasm and excitement that blossoming no longer seems like such a scary idea.

Why is growth important? As living beings, we are always growing physically. With each second, our cells grow older and divide to create new ones. As a matter of fact, the human body makes over 3.8 million new cells every second – mostly in our blood and gut.

But, when it comes to true mental and emotional growth, it requires more intention and challenge. We must be pushed and pulled to new areas within us that we may never have thought of before. And that stems from being forced to step out of our comfort zones and into the unknown.

Without challenges, struggles, or obstacles, we can get quite comfortable wherever we are placed. This can result in no growth, and without growth, life can become dull, stagnant, and meaningless. This is why it’s important to ensure that you prioritize and embrace opportunities for growth, even if that means it comes with a challenge.

The Importance of Growth

As human beings, if we are not growing, are we truly living? We may be breathing, but without mental growth, we stay stagnant. On the other hand, growth brings us opportunities, inspiration, knowledge, wisdom, and experience. We get to learn more about ourselves, others, and life in general when we grow.

If we don’t grow, then we just stay stuck in one place. It’s not only boring, but it’s kind of meaningless. What’s the point of being in this amazing place called earth if we choose to stay stuck in our little bubble?

Being open to growth means being open to learning, changing, improving, and being curious. It means being open to both the amazing things life has to show us, and also the challenges it might throw our way. To truly live means to grow, otherwise we are merely existing.

Growth Requires Commitment and Discipline

Growth is not easy. Intentionally trying to grow requires commitment and discipline because our bodies don’t like stepping out of their comfort zones. We like to stay around what is familiar and comfortable.

Thus, if you want to grow, you have to develop a disciplined mindset and commit to your goal.

For example, going to the gym every day is a form of growth. Not only do you grow physically, but you also grow mentally. Every time you hear your alarm clock ring and you are tempted to stay in bed, but you get up and change into your workout clothes, you grow stronger.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Most of us live in our comfort zones. We play it safe, choosing low-risk lifestyles, and living like most people around us. Outside our comfort zones, lies fear. However, it also happens to be where all the magic of life happens.

In order to grow, we must step out of what is comfortable. Growth can be quite scary because it can often require you to challenge old limiting beliefs that you have held onto your entire life. It could mean leaving something that is safe, easy, or comfortable, like leaving a toxic relationship or an unrewarding job. 

So, if you want to grow, face your fears. Do something different than your daily routine. Step away from what is comfortable, is easy, or feels safe. Do something that scares you.

Remember, growth is not easy, but it is so worth it! We have to give up the security that we know to experience greater things. So embrace the mess and the discomfort, and choose to grow because that’s what leads to a truly fulfilling life.

How often do you self-reflect? Self-reflection, though a critical aspect of personal growth, is often overlooked or forgotten about in our daily lives. Yet, when you take some time to reflect on your day, the highs and lows, the challenges you’ve faced, your emotions, and your thoughts, you tap into a great power of using life’s experiences to learn and grow.

Why should we self-reflect and why is self-reflection scary?

It Builds Self-Awareness

We can’t change ourselves unless we know what our patterns are. We can’t grow unless we know what we can do better. Spending time in self-reflection helps us get in tune with ourselves. When we know ourselves, we can help ourselves. This can take a lot of bravery because it also means we have to face our weaknesses, our triggers, and our demons. When we self-reflect, we see where we are wrong, even if that is uncomfortable. However, that also means that we can change or correct ourselves.

For example, if we know what triggers us and makes us angry, we can see it coming the next time and remove ourselves from the situation.

It Enables Us to Recognize Change and Track Progress

What’s the point of changing if we don’t know how well we are doing? By self-reflecting, we can see how much progress we are making and if we need to change our strategy or not. It takes courage to honestly see whether or not you are making the progress you hoped.

It Helps Us Take Responsibility

When we self-reflect, we realize that we are responsible for everything in our lives.

Have you ever thought about how you got to where you are now? Or what about where you could have been if you had made certain decisions differently? These questions can be tough to ask yourself, and that is why self-reflection takes courage.

However, when you do consider these questions, you free yourself from being limited to the current path. When you take responsibility for your life right now, you also take back your power to change your life.

It Helps Us Live More Intentionally

When you spend time self-reflecting, you will have a much better understanding of where you are right now, how you got here, your current thoughts and emotions, and if you are happy or not. You will also have greater clarity about what you want to change. And that is ultimately the golden key: because of self-reflection, you can now live more intentionally going further. You can make choices differently, you can step out of autopilot, and you can be more intentional about where you want your life to take you.

How can you self-reflect?

There are many ways to spend time in self-reflection, but the easiest is to journal. Every day, write down your thoughts, challenges, struggles, and wins. See what worked and what didn’t. Identify patterns. If you do this, every struggle you face will become your strength.

In conclusion, self-reflection is an extremely powerful and helpful tool. However, it requires courage and is not for the faint-of heart. But once you spend time in self-reflection, you can be sure you will feel much more empowered, inspired, and motivated to create the life you want.

In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray plays a weatherman named Phil Connors. He travels to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania to cover Groundhog Day and ends up stuck in a time loop. He is forced to relive February 2^nd repeatedly. This leads him to proclaim, “Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today!”

Phil Connors is stuck in this loop for years. He goes through all the stages of grief, multiple times, even committing suicide on many occasions. Eventually, Phil accepts that this is his life and decides to make the most of it. He finds his purpose and becomes more of an actualized person. Then lo and behold, the time loop ends and it’s February 3^rd.  

Life has a funny way of giving us the same situations over and over again, until we learn what we need to learn. And the truth is, until you change your thinking, you will always recycle your experiences.

Embrace the lessons that come your way. Be curious about what the universe is trying to tell or teach you. Know that life is happening for you, not to you.

Think about some of the situations you have experienced. Which ones have happened multiple times? What do you think the universe is trying to teach you?

One of the hardest things for people to do is walk away from someone they love. But you have to honor self-love and self-respect above all else.

Loving yourself and putting your own happiness first is not selfish. It’s the opposite. The more you cherish yourself, the better you treat others around you. If you have an empty cup, you cannot hydrate yourself or those around you.

Learn to serve yourself so that you can better serve the world. Keeping your peace of mind is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and the people we love. The more at ease we are, the more peace we can share with the world.

If something takes away your energy or drains you mentally or emotionally, makes you doubt yourself, or serves no real purpose in your life, it may not only be not serving you but also harming you.

If you’re having difficulty walking away from a situation that is no longer serving you, whether it is a relationship, a job, or a living situation, here are three exercises to help you clarify how you feel.

Write Letters to People from the Past

Writing letters to specific people or even situations that have already happened can help you better understand your feelings. You don’t ever have to mail them. The idea is to get your true thoughts and feelings down on paper so you can fully express yourself. Maybe you need to forgive someone, thank them or simply explain yourself. Whatever it is, get those thoughts onto the paper. This will help you process your emotions to understand what you’re holding onto that is no longer serving you and move forward.

Take Inventory

Look at your life and categorize it. Write down your possessions, relationships, hobbies, habits, commitments, goals, beliefs, and values. Then imagine you need to eliminate 30% of your list. What do you need to get rid of? What do you want to keep? When doing this exercise, use your intuition and go with your gut. Don’t overthink it, just eliminate it based on your first instincts. Your final list of things to eliminate doesn’t necessarily mean you have to eliminate them. But what it does tell you is that your gut is hinting at the need to re-examine that 30% and determine whether it is really serving you.

Keep Track

Maybe letting go is not something you’re capable of doing right now – and that is totally okay. You can start with keeping track of what happens every time that person or situation makes you feel bad. If this running list continues to grow, and it’ll become incredibly apparent that it’s time to move on. Once you have a solid list, write another list that contrasts with all the good feelings and things you want out of life. Note how you can attain those feelings or how someone would need to treat you to achieve those feelings and goals. For example, on your list of things that made you feel bad if you had written, “he made me feel bad about my appearance when he told me to lose weight,” your second list could say, “He makes me feel beautiful because he loves me just the way I am.”

It is human nature to stick with the things we know. And when we choose to have the courage to let go of what is no longer serving us, we make room for new opportunities that can serve us.

They say that you are the accumulation of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Knowing that, I’d say it’s rather essential to carefully select the people you spend time with. Most of us have a vision of who we want to be, what type of life we want to live, how we want to treat others, and goals we have in mind for our careers, family, and lives. Surrounding yourself with people who have similar goals to you is the best thing you can do to get closer to your dreams.

You’re probably wondering how people around you affect who you are. On a super scientific level, facial mimicry is an unconscious mirroring of others’ facial expressions, which over time can lead to a permanent or semi-permanent change in your own facial expressions. On another level, there’s social influence. When two or more people get together, they’re more powerful, even if that power is wasted. When we spend enough time with someone, we begin to share language, including slang, and that is the same for when it comes to values, beliefs, and goals.

So, how do you spend time with people who will help you build the future you truly want?

Figure Out Who You Want to Be

Who is your ideal self? What qualities do they have? What kind of life do they want? What are their goals, dreams, values, and beliefs? Understanding these answers will help you figure out where you want to end up.

Who Are The 5 People You Currently Spend the Most Time With?

What qualities do the five people you spend the most time with have? What are their strengths and weaknesses? What are their goals and ambitions? What are they currently doing with their lives, and do they have plans for how they are going to improve? Do they have qualities you want to possess? Are they who you want to be in the future? This is information you need to evaluate to understand if these are the right people to spend most of your time with.

Name 5 People Who Embody the Qualities You Desire

Write a list of five people you admire and list the qualities you love about them. If you want to be an activist, write down an activist you admire. If you want to be a chef, write down a chef.

Increase Contact With Those People

There are several ways to increase contact with people, from direct to indirect methods. The first is direct contact, an email or a phone call, or an actual hang out. Maybe they’re a public speaker, and you can attend a conference they are speaking at. If they’re a consultant, perhaps you could book an appointment with them. If they’re more reachable, maybe you could attend an event they’ll be at and chat them up. If direct contact doesn’t work, they might have a product you could interact with, such as a podcast or book. Many successful entrepreneurs have noted that some of their role models were people they never met in person. Their role models came in the form of books.

In the first season of Game of Thrones, Tyrion Lannister is visiting Winterfell with his family. Robert Baratheon is King and they are all there to ask Ned Stark, Lord of the North and Robert’s biggest ally from the war, to become his Hand.

While he is outside having a drink, Tyrion runs into Ned Stark’s “bastard” child, Jon Snow. He tells Jon, “Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor. It can never be used to hurt you.” Jon is offended and asks him what he knows about being a bastard. Tyrion replies, “All dwarves are bastards in their father’s eyes.”

While offensive to Jon, Tyrion means well. His intention is to counsel Jon to not care about what other people say about him and just be who he is.

Many of us struggle with accepting and loving who we are. To Tyrion’s point, when we love and accept ourselves, we aren’t impacted by what other’s think of us. It cannot be used against us.

When I think of this wisdom, I also think of Julius Caesar. Caesar lost his life because he didn’t accept who he was.

After a brief civil war, Caesar and one of his top generals, Mark Antony, became co-consuls of Rome. Caesar was later appointed dictator in perpetuity, and he had no intentions of ever giving up his position. While he was a dictator, he saw himself as altruistic and beloved. He would often offer clemency or forgiveness to his enemies. Why? Caesar did this not out of the kindness of his heart, but rather to gain social influence. He also didn’t want to be seen as another Sulla.

But in the end, by not embracing who he really was, Caesar was blind to the threats that were closest to him. Marcus Brutus and Gaius Cassius ended up organizing Caesar’s assassination, because they believed it was in Rome’s best interest.

This quote also makes me think of our past mistakes when someone wants to hold them over us. I’ve had people close to me attempt to hold something I did in the past over me that I wasn’t proud of. But by owning my mistakes and being open about them, I was able to stop that kind of behavior and the threats of “exposing me” in their tracks.

Believe me, I’ve made some colossal mistakes in my life. But for me, being radically honest about it actually made me more vulnerable. It helped me create deeper connections with others. And for those who delighted in the idea of being able to hold things over me, got an incredible plot twist that they certainly did not expect.

So yes, in short, you should always be working to love and accept yourself, as you are. Own your success, as well as your mistakes. And remember, you are enough for just being you, as you are today.