In the first season of Game of Thrones, Tyrion Lannister is visiting Winterfell with his family. Robert Baratheon is King and they are all there to ask Ned Stark, Lord of the North and Robert’s biggest ally from the war, to become his Hand.
While he is outside having a drink, Tyrion runs into Ned Stark’s “bastard” child, Jon Snow. He tells Jon, “Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor. It can never be used to hurt you.” Jon is offended and asks him what he knows about being a bastard. Tyrion replies, “All dwarves are bastards in their father’s eyes.”
While offensive to Jon, Tyrion means well. His intention is to counsel Jon to not care about what other people say about him and just be who he is.
Many of us struggle with accepting and loving who we are. To Tyrion’s point, when we love and accept ourselves, we aren’t impacted by what other’s think of us. It cannot be used against us.
When I think of this wisdom, I also think of Julius Caesar. Caesar lost his life because he didn’t accept who he was.
After a brief civil war, Caesar and one of his top generals, Mark Antony, became co-consuls of Rome. Caesar was later appointed dictator in perpetuity, and he had no intentions of ever giving up his position. While he was a dictator, he saw himself as altruistic and beloved. He would often offer clemency or forgiveness to his enemies. Why? Caesar did this not out of the kindness of his heart, but rather to gain social influence. He also didn’t want to be seen as another Sulla.
But in the end, by not embracing who he really was, Caesar was blind to the threats that were closest to him. Marcus Brutus and Gaius Cassius ended up organizing Caesar’s assassination, because they believed it was in Rome’s best interest.
This quote also makes me think of our past mistakes when someone wants to hold them over us. I’ve had people close to me attempt to hold something I did in the past over me that I wasn’t proud of. But by owning my mistakes and being open about them, I was able to stop that kind of behavior and the threats of “exposing me” in their tracks.
Believe me, I’ve made some colossal mistakes in my life. But for me, being radically honest about it actually made me more vulnerable. It helped me create deeper connections with others. And for those who delighted in the idea of being able to hold things over me, got an incredible plot twist that they certainly did not expect.
So yes, in short, you should always be working to love and accept yourself, as you are. Own your success, as well as your mistakes. And remember, you are enough for just being you, as you are today.
