When your life begins to feel a little too predictable, mundane, or even boring, you may find yourself yearning to make some changes. Maybe you dream about moving to a different part of the world or going back to school to continue your education. You might feel drawn to pursue a higher calling or transform your body with some healthy new lifestyle habits.

However, even as a deeper part of you yearns for change, another part of you might also continue to cling to the ordinary because it’s all you have ever known. You might keep hesitating to take that leap of faith because it feels too big or too risky. You might worry about the possibility of failure, and the disappointment that would inevitably follow. You might wonder if your family and friends would think you are crazy for even attempting such a feat.

Uncertainties like these can keep you hanging in a state of limbo for years, feeling dissatisfied and knowing that you want more, but also being held back by fear. Continuing to ignore your feelings of dissatisfaction will only cause them to grow stronger and more insistent over time. In fact, they can become so uncomfortable that you might find yourself trying to numb them with unhealthy habits or keeping yourself busy or distracted so you don’t have to think about facing your fears.

The good news is that you can acclimate yourself to the idea of living that adventurous life by using the power of your imagination. Rather than forcing yourself to take action before you feel ready, start by fine-tuning your vision of that life you crave.

Imagine right now that you could wave a magic wand over any area of your life and create whatever you wanted. If there were no limits whatsoever, what would you create? Think about your residence, your work, your relationships, your own body. Which of these areas could use a refresh, and what might that look like? Spend time each day asking yourself questions, such as: “What would make me most happy? What do I really want? Why do I want it? How would it feel to have it?”

Allow your mind to roam and consider the many possibilities that exist for you. Give yourself permission to daydream and bask in the feelings of joy that your vision inspires. Imagine it in full detail, engaging all of your senses. The more you do this, your vision will continue to become clearer and clearer, and your excitement and confidence will begin to grow. You will reclaim the knowing that you deserve to be happy in your life, just like everyone else, and you will develop a stronger belief that your dream is actually possible for you.

Eventually, you will generate a powerful positive momentum, and your enthusiasm will become irresistible and overshadow any fears that were holding you back. From this higher perspective, you will see that some amount of risk is absolutely worthwhile if it sets you upon a pathway that can lead you to everything you have ever desired.

In the movie The Matrix, Morpheus explains what the matrix is to Neo. He explains it as the world that has been pulled over your eyes, to blind you from the truth.  He describes it as a prison for your mind.

We are all faced with having to decide whether we really want to know the truth about something. In a post last year, I talked about how you cannot wake a person who’s pretending to be asleep. For some of us, the truth is too much to bear. We would rather stay asleep and not acknowledge what is really happening.

In the case of the matrix, the character Cypher betrays his friends after making a deal with Agent Smith to be put back into the matrix. In the movie, those who take the red pill are considered free because they know the truth. However, Cypher feels that the matrix is more real than the reality he is living in.

While I believe that it is always best to know the truth and what is real, there will always be those who don’t feel the same way. What would you take? The red pill? Or the blue pill?

Southern Utah is home to Zion National Park. Within the boundaries of Zion is a well-known hike called Angels Landing. Many YouTubers have documented their visits to the top of the peak. That’s how I first discovered this amazing place.

The summit is a place of intense beauty. Atop Angels Landing, hikers delight in the view of the canyon below. And Zion is a stunning park.

But make no mistake, this hike is not for the faint of heart. Over the two and a half miles from trailhead to summit, hikers gain nearly 1500 feet of elevation.

Further, the trail has a series of switchbacks. This stretch punishes hikers. Each step creates a little more strain on their legs. And at this top of the switchbacks, there is still more to go.

This next section is the scary part. The trail grows narrow. On both sides are sheer drops. It’s thousands of feet down to the canyon floor. People clutch the chains as they put one foot in front of another.

Once beyond this stretch the final ascent is a little less terrifying.

I grew fascinated watching people make this climb. Many of them confessed their fears of heights. They struggled with the chains. Exhaustion wore them down. But at the summit, it was all worth it.

Watching their stories, I learned several things about myself.

Many people live life in a rush. They hurry along to get the next best thing. That view of the world always faces forward. In many ways it is a kind of tunnel vision. That hurry blinds us to many valuable things.

It is like the feeling the climbers had at the summit. When you reach a mountain peak, it feels fantastic! This is the moment of achievement. But the time atop the mountain is short. We often forget the work we did to reach such heights.

Angels Landing pushes people to their limit. In making the climb, hikers overcome self-doubt.  They gain strength even when they felt weak. The victory was not at the pinnacle. These hikers won by facing all the fears, doubts, and challenges along the way.

That truth applies to you and me, as well. Facing challenges brings us authentic happiness. These hurdles teach us about our character. Likewise, they show us how resourceful we are. More than that, we discover what holds us back.

Every hiker on that trail wants to turn back at some point. Many of them do. But the ones that persevere chose to ignore their doubt. They silenced their fears. Inside themselves they found a strength they did not know they had.

You see, we are stronger than we think. And what holds us back is completely under our control. And when we confront our uncertainty, we level up. We realize we can do it.

That’s why our joy is not from finding ourselves on top. It’s realizing we can get there that uplifts us.

Imagine you were just transported to the top of the mountain. Would that feel like a success? No, because you didn’t work for it. That’s the lesson we need to embrace. Our happiness comes from overcoming difficulty.

When you feel adversity, remember the struggle. Don’t think about the moment of triumph. Think about the hard work you put in to get there.

We have enormous capacity for change. I love watching transformation stories. They inspire me as I see someone who acted. There is a common theme in so many of them.

It goes back to something Tony Robbins says. “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

It’s a powerful quote. If you’re like me, you’re thinking of a situation where you felt that way. Those people from the transformation stories felt that way too. What’s more remarkable is how many facets of life this quote applies to.

Romantic Relationships

Millions of people are currently in unhappy relationships. Often this is because they’re afraid of the unknown. They know what they have. And on some level, they have accepted it. They cannot conceive what life would be like if it’s gone. For them, the pain of change is too great.

As humans, we love to be comfortable and are happy with familiarity. But this causes us to stay inside our comfort zones even when it’s hurting us. And as you know, we don’t grow at all in our comfort zones.

I have a friend who stayed too long in an unhealthy relationship. She met a man who swept her off her feet. She moved more than a thousand miles to be with him. But he was too controlling. And his negativity dulled this vibrant woman.

For years, the pain of change overwhelmed the pain of staying. Until one day it all changed. He had been travelling for a business trip. And when he returned, she had moved out. She saw a chance for a better life. And the idea of spending more time in a place where she was miserable was scarier to her than leaving was.

Personal Growth

My friend’s story is hardly unique. But I want to touch on our own individual struggles.

We often need to feel some trauma to prompt us to change. Sometimes that occurs within a relationship. However, relationships can distract us from our own issues. And they too make it harder for us to change.

What we need in that moment is clarity. People set up buffers that shield them from pain. However, that pain is what enables us to grow. More importantly, it enables us to create our best self.

There is an old story that illustrates this point. It may even be true. An old violin maker made the most prized instruments of his age. Customers sought him out due to the soulful tones his violins produced. He took on an apprentice who worked for many years in the shop. But the old master was the one who harvested the wood.

The apprentice tried his hand at building a comparable instrument. But he could never perfect the sound. Something was wrong with the wood. And so one day, he secretly followed the old master. The younger man watched as his teacher selected wood from the most gnarled trees. Wind and cold had twisted the boughs.

They looked ugly. But these trees were the secret. The young man could feel the difference just from touch. And when he crafted the violin, it produced that beautiful sound.

We grow when we face our pain. Like these trees, our best self is built on our hardships. That’s why this quote resonates with me. The trees cannot move on, but we can. And we should.

In Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, a young Anakin Skywalker reveals to Yoda that he fears losing his mother.  Yoda tells him, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Yoda then concludes that he senses much fear in Anakin.

Fear causes us to want to avoid, which leads to us to feeling less emotionally resilient. It can drain our attention, leaving us feeling guarded in other areas.

Fear can easily trigger anger. For example, say you are running late to work, and you are rushing to get there. A car cuts you off while you’re driving, and you lose it. You even surprise yourself at the level of road rage you have. Another example would be if you are worried about finances and fear not being able to pay all your bills that month. Your spouse comes home, having purchased a $5 plant and you get angry with them for overspending because they aren’t being frugal enough.

While fear can leave us feeling vulnerable, anger, on the other hand, can make us feel like we are more in control of our situation. It may even feel energizing.

Hate is a natural outgrowth of feeling fear, anger, or a sense of injury for a period of time. And when our hearts are filled with hate, we suffer. And not just mentally. When we carry hate with us for a long time, our physical health suffers. Holding on to hate impacts the nervous system, immune system, and endocrine system. When we feel intense bouts of hate and rage, stress hormones are released in the brain. And over time, this can lead to all sorts of health issues.

In Season 5 of Breaking Bad, Walter gives Jesse advice on how they can move forward in the episode titled Blood Money. He tells Jesse, “You need to stop focusing on the darkness behind you. The past is the past. Nothing can change what we’ve done.” But Jesse is wary of Walter ‘s words and rightfully so.

The lesson we can learn from this quote is that we are not our mistakes. In a post earlier this year, I wrote about how mistakes are things that we have done, not who we are. Often times when we feel bad about our past, we have a hard time distinguishing the difference.

Good people can make some awful mistakes. Having made many bad mistakes, I can honestly say that I am glad I made them because it taught me a lot about myself and the world and led me to where I am today.

The scars you wear from your mistakes are evidence of how hard you have fought to save yourself. Be proud of all that you have learned and had to overcome.