Most of us think of miracles as unlikely or maybe even impossible mysterious events that happen only rarely. But what if that’s not the case at all? What if miracles are constantly happening all around us, but we simply fail to notice them?

To re-frame your perception of miracles, it might help to clarify what a miracle really is. Most people would say that a miracle is a divinely orchestrated event. But what if you chose to see miracles as nothing more than a positive circumstance that shows up with perfect timing to resolve a problem or challenge?

In other words, a miracle could be a beneficial outcome that appears just when its arrival is most helpful to the recipient. Think about it. How many times did something happen for you, “just in time”?

For example, money showing up unexpectedly just when you need it might be a miracle. That great job offer arriving just when your current company announces a layoff might be a miracle. A kind stranger offering assistance when your car breaks down on a lonely highway could be a miracle. You might be tempted to see these events as mere coincidences. But by doing so, you may actually reduce your chances of being receptive to future miracles.

How Can You Start Seeing More Miracles?

1. Recognize that things are always changing. Just when you think you know what’s going to happen, circumstances can shift and a totally different outcome will show up. Sometimes it’s an unwelcome or negative change, but positive changes can certainly occur just as often. So, if you’re in a situation where it seems like the sequence of events is already in motion and the outcome is unavoidable, just keep in mind that things can still change at any moment, for better or worse.

2. Know that your attitude is usually what determines what happens next. Whether positive or negative changes are on the horizon. Remember, change is the only constant in life. These changes are often dependent upon where your mood and mindset are at the time. If you expect the worst, the worst will usually happen. But if you can hold onto even a tiny shred of optimism that things can turn around in your favor, that is often enough to begin attracting more miracles.

3. Miracles often occur as a direct result of the power of faith and belief. If you can believe wholeheartedly that things will work out in your favor, more often than not they will. No matter how dire or unchangeable a situation may seem, just holding that power of faith and belief is often enough to turn it around and bring forth new opportunities.

As you work with these principles daily and continue to stretch your belief in what’s possible, you may find that your entire life experience starts to look more and more miraculous. And seemingly impossible solutions, ideas, and opportunities will spontaneously find their way to you.

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. They also say, “the cow drinks water and turns it into milk; the snake drinks water and turns it into poison.” What you do with what you have is your decision.

Every person is dealt a hand of cards, and some are better than others. But no matter what hand you are dealt, you will experience suffering. You can turn that suffering into something beautiful, or you can turn it into something destructive. That choice ultimate is up to you.

Hurt people hurt people. But hurt people can heal, too. If you don’t focus on your healing, you will burn people who are trying to help you. Last year I wrote a post about how if you don’t heal what hurt you, you will bleed on people who didn’t cut you. You can read it here. If you want to make milk instead of poison, here are five steps to healing your pain, so you don’t spread that pain to others.

Understand You Are Responsible For Your Healing

Friends and therapists can be a great help, but ultimately you are 100% responsible for your own healing. You have to decide to change how you think on a minute-by-minute basis. Every moment you choose healing, it will add up. So don’t feel discouraged if you feel like you aren’t making progress fast enough. The path to healing isn’t linear.

Reflect On How You Avoid Healing

Avoiding healing is a part of the process for everyone. We find ways to distract ourselves, lie to ourselves, and avoid difficult conversations. Some people turn to Netflix, and others talk themselves out of good thoughts. You have to be conscious of how you are stopping the progression of your healing in order to continue the process.

Accept What You Cannot Control

In life, there are things you can control, like your thoughts and emotions, and things you cannot control, like the weather and how other people treat you. Every situation is an opportunity to practice self-control and a positive outlook, no matter how challenging it is. We all have to deal with unwanted circumstances, but the most important part is how we respond to those circumstances.

Focus On Daily Self Care

Every day, no matter how big or small, you need to focus on things that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Whether that’s showering, going for a walk, running errands, or taking up a meditation practice. Healing requires you to get out of your comfort zone and do things you might not have the energy to do. The good thing is that once you do the things you’ve been putting off, you gain more power to do them again.

Accept Yourself

No one is perfect. We can only do our best while loving and accepting ourselves throughout our growth. Mistakes are going to happen, and they are our greatest teachers.

Is it me, or does it seem like people are offended by the slightest things these days? Our culture has become hypersensitive to things that never seemed to bother people before. Every day it feels like someone is being cancelled…even comedians. And in many cases, it’s just because they have voiced their own opinion about something. There was a time when you could have a different perspective in our society and have a friendly, respectful debate with those who feel opposite of you.

The truth is, being offended in any situation is a choice. I know many people who actively look for reasons to be offended. Taking offense to what someone does or says can affect your mental health and sense of self-worth. It can also lead to unnecessary conflict with others in a day and age where we need peace the most.

But what does taking offense to things really mean? Regularly taking things personally showcases low self-esteem, and it can create paranoia around how others view you. Choosing to take offense is labeling yourself as a victim, and victim mentality is one of the biggest obstacles to growth.

Last year someone in my family made a judgment about me to a mutual friend. They said that I am lazy, do nothing all day, have no real responsibilities, etc. When I was informed of this opinion of me, I nearly spit out my water from laughing. I found it to be hilarious because this person clearly had no idea what I do all day. And they are entitled to their own thoughts and opinions of me, of course. I just found it so misinformed and was highly amused.

Can someone say something that is objectively offensive? Yes. But that doesn’t mean you have to choose to be offended and carry a grudge. At the end of the day, if you are comfortable and confident in yourself and what you believe, there is no reason to respond in an offensive way.

If you find yourself in a position where you’re often feeling offended, here are some ways you can start to change your thinking.

1. Try not to assume things, especially when assuming a negative intention. Giving people the benefit of the doubt will allow you to ask for further understanding than simply labeling them and the circumstance as offensive.

2. Understand that being offended does not equal being harmed. When someone attacks you physically, that is harmful. When someone verbally abuses you, that is harmful. But someone speaking their opinion or living their life in a way you disagree with, it is not actually harming you.

3. Reflect on why you are upset. Dig a little deeper within yourself and ask yourself why are really upset. If you don’t take the time to understand the true nature of your thoughts and emotions, you will be unable to gain a wholesome perspective.

4. Change your expectations of others. As they say, expectation is the root of all heartache.  Expectations lead to disappointments. People do not automatically know how you feel or think. They have their own opinions and emotions they are sharing. If you find yourself upset with something someone has said, they might not find it offensive. Try to understand their views because more understanding is key.

5. Don’t assume everything is about you. This is a surefire way to misery. Unless someone specifically states they are talking about you, it is most likely not directed at you. Try to overcome thought patterns that are self-absorbed.

6. When you become offended, you have two options: discuss the matter or let it go. If you feel someone was deliberately trying to offend you, address it. But if you find that they didn’t mean to offend you, choose to look inward as to why it bothers you and then let it go.

In The Sopranos, Dr. Melfi tells Tony to “act as if” he wasn’t feeling vulnerable. She says, “People only see what you allow them to see.”

A therapist once told me that one of the best ways to build self-esteem is to behave in ways that you will feel proud of, especially in adversity. And obviously, that make sense. But there will be times when you will struggle with regulating your own emotions in an argument. Many times, we have knee jerk reactions and respond in a way we feel ashamed of afterwards. One of the things that helped me start to “keep it in check”, was a little trick I played on my mind that is really silly. But it worked for me.

When things got heated or I was feeling disrespected, I felt the temptation to dish it right back to the person. But then I thought to myself, how would I feel about my behavior in this if someone I respected saw and heard how I was acting? In some cases, I would have been mortified, to be honest.

I thought of it like I was on camera, where someone I respect could review how I handled myself. After a few times of telling myself that this will be seen by other people (a la The Truman Show), I was able to regulate my emotions better. And I wanted to respond in a better way, and I wanted to be proud of myself with how I handled conflict. But it definitely takes practice.

When you are in high conflict situations, it can take a lot of practice to respond in a rational way. But over time, by slowing things down and telling yourself that there will be witnesses to how you respond, you will naturally want to improve your response.

Walking along virtually any saltwater beach in the world, you might stumble across some colorful, smooth stones with frosted surfaces. Looking a little closer, you would realize that they are not really stones at all. They are shards of broken glass that have been weathered and tumbled until the sharp edges and slick surfaces have been worn away.

These shards can take decades, or even centuries to be transformed into sea glass. They are repeatedly tumbled by ocean waves and baked in the hot sun. They are ground against the rough sand until eventually they are transformed into stunning pieces of art.

Sea glass is certainly beautiful to look at. But the formation of it also offers a powerful analogy for the magic of transformation in our own lives. Through our most challenging life experiences, we often feel as if we are being tossed and tumbled, and even ground into the dirt.

We may feel broken at times and rough around the edges. We might desperately try to build a hard, shiny shell around us to keep us safe from harm. We may feel lost and directionless, having no real purpose that we can discern.

Most of us try to control our outer circumstances so we can feel more stable and secure inside. But the harder we try to resist change, the more painful it becomes. We only end up feeling stuck and unhappy as we try desperately to hold onto the old and resist the new. It leaves us hanging in limbo, sometimes for years. Our lives cannot become more than they are because we are not willing to let go and surrender to the process of change. By holding on and trying to control the process, we only become more stressed and fearful as time goes on.

Ironically, it is only when we finally decide to embrace the process of change in our lives that new opportunities present themselves. When we humbly surrender, relax, and go with the flow, we quickly realize that the currents of life begin carrying us in favorable directions.

We also begin to realize that our hard outer shell was not really protecting us at all. It was only keeping us locked inside of ourselves, isolated and alone. We realize that our best defense against hurt is not wielding sharp, cutting edges, but rather recognizing that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength.

In our willingness to keep our hearts open and expand into something more, we eventually discover a new purpose and reason for being here on this earth. We might conceive a new calling or passion, or we might just begin dancing with life on a more meaningful level.

Ultimately, we begin to see our journey of transformation as exciting, thrilling, and ripe with endless possibilities. We wonder why we fought against it so hard, for so long, when it actually ended up being the very best thing that’s ever happened to us.

Dysfunction tends to run in cycles, repeating over and over until one courageous person decides to make a change. Perhaps you have been aware of dysfunctional patterns in your own family, your workplace, social circles, and even in society and government. These cycles are often revealed by the subtle things that people say about them, such as, “That’s just how it is in our family.” “That’s the way we’ve always done it.” “The system is broken.”

When you recognize a destructive cycle in any area of your life, see it as an opportunity to affect positive change. Pause and ask yourself, “How might I start doing things differently?” You may not feel exceedingly confident about breaking the cycle at first, especially if you suspect that it could trigger resistance or anger in other people, but remember that breaking a cycle doesn’t always have to mean tearing down and rebuilding the entire system at once.

Instead, consider smaller actions that you could take to get the ball rolling in the right direction. For example, if your relationship with your immediate family members has always been somewhat closed off or emotionally repressed, you could take the first step in forging deeper bonds by sending a quick note to several of your loved ones and expressing your appreciation for them. Tell them why you love and appreciate them, and why you’re glad that they are a part of your life. You may be surprised when some of them actually open up and respond back to you in kind.

If your workplace is often a hub for gossip and rumors, you might decide to be the person who is suddenly too busy to engage in the activity any longer. You don’t need to make a public announcement about it, just simply break the cycle for yourself and withdraw from the activity rather than continuing to perpetuate it. Again, you might be pleasantly surprised when other people decide to follow in your footsteps.

Beyond breaking destructive cycles, you can also make it your mission to create beneficial new cycles in all areas of your life. These positive cycles can be modest, yet powerful. For example, start a new cycle of complimenting a minimum of three people every day, or smiling and greeting the people you meet in your daily travels. Start a new cycle of beautifying your community or volunteering your time to organizations that are trying to create positive change in the world.

If you encounter resistance along the way, simply remind yourself that most people resist change at first. Even if that change is positive overall, and they do this simply because it’s uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Lasting changes don’t usually happen overnight, but if enough people get involved and persist in moving forward, their small efforts can create a movement that gains massive momentum, and the old cycle will finally be broken for good.

Until then, be satisfied with small changes. Do only what you can do, and lead by example. It won’t be long before other people notice and become inspired by your courage and tenacity.

Have you ever been in a situation where you witnessed something wrong, but didn’t say anything? Maybe in school, you saw someone being bullied but you didn’t speak up. Or maybe at a restaurant, someone was treating a waiter poorly. Or perhaps the person in front of you at the grocery store was speaking to the checkout lady rudely.

Coined by Suzy Kassem in her collection of works: Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem. This quote speaks to how strong our need to fit in is.

As human beings, it’s our tendency to seek acceptance and avoid rejection. After all, if our ancestors were rejected by their tribe, it meant death. We relied on one another and on our community to survive, and without the support of our tribe, we were weak against the forces of nature, often leading to death.

Because our primal tendency is to seek acceptance, we often go against our personal beliefs and values in an attempt to avoid rejection and loneliness. This creates an inner conflict within ourselves. Thus, standing up for what is right, especially if it means standing alone, feels extremely uncomfortable.

Why Should You Stand Up For What Is Right?

1. It builds respect. It’s not easy to stand up for what is right. But deep down, we all know that it is the higher path. When you stand up for what is right, even if it means taking the harder route, you gain respect for yourself and from others. Many people know what is right, but they fear rejection, don’t have the confidence, or aren’t courageous enough to take the right action. When they see you do the difficult thing, not only will they respect you even more, but they will also be inspired to stand up for what is right themselves.

2. It builds confidence. Even if no one else sees you stand up for what is right, when you stand up for what you believe in rather than doing what is convenient, you show yourself that you are a strong, good, and independent person. This simple decision recreates the image you have of yourself and builds your confidence.

3. It helps you discover who you are. Standing up for what is right, especially when it means being alone, teaches you about what you would do in hardship. It’s easy to think you might take the higher road or always do good, but when it comes down to it, you never know how you will act in a difficult situation.

Standing alone can be scary and uncomfortable. So how can you release the fear of standing alone?

1. Let go of your fears of rejection. Even though it feels like people might judge you, remember that they are more concerned with what’s going on in their life. We often exaggerate situations in our mind, and think everyone is talking about us, judging us, or mocking us, when in reality, no one really cares (in a good way)! So, relax, and just do YOU.

2. Keep doing it. The more you do something, the easier it gets. And the more you stand up for what is right, even when it is difficult, the easier and less scary it gets! Soon enough, you won’t think about it twice! And as a bonus, you will be building your confidence along the way.

3. Trust in good. Trust that good always wins, and by standing up for what is right, you will get back that good. The more you can trust in the knowing that the good will come back to you, the more you will see evidence of it in your life! After all, this is the foundation of the law of attraction!

There are so many things that make you unique and special in your own right. But over time you may have come to believe that you needed to conceal certain aspects of yourself because they were too different or strange compared to the people around you. Maybe you worried that you would be ridiculed for your taste in music, clothing styles, or hobbies. Maybe you have even been rejected in the past because you shared a little too much of yourself with someone who didn’t appreciate you. And because of that painful experience, you decided that it was best to hide certain parts of yourself so that you could better blend in with others.

This may be an effective coping strategy in certain settings, but later in life it becomes painfully obvious that by attempting to fit in and be like everyone else, you lose touch with your authenticity. You end up feeling hollow and disconnected from your inner joy, and you still feel like you don’t truly belong because you aren’t able to comfortably be yourself.

To feel truly whole and complete, it’s important to reclaim those neglected aspects of yourself, and not only accept them, but celebrate them. While it’s true that some people won’t appreciate you for who you are, it’s also true that there are probably many more people who will, if you give them the chance.

Start by thinking back to your childhood. What were your favorite activities? What kind of music, books, and movies did you enjoy? Can you recall experiences where someone made it clear that you were somehow unacceptable or unlovable? What was it about you that they rejected? If you can’t remember these details, it may be time to go on a treasure hunt to rediscover your true passions, desires, and personality traits that you may have hidden away.

What really makes your heart sing? What makes you feel alive? Start paying attention to the things in your environment that draw your attention. It might be activities that you have always been curious to try, or certain artwork that inspires you. Perhaps you’d even like to explore some different career options that you didn’t dare consider when you were younger. Get back in touch with the parts of you that light up when you recognize something that stirs your interests and passions.

Pay attention to that little voice within and allow it to guide you to greater fulfillment in your life. Remind yourself often that you are not here to blend in, or to be a carbon copy of anyone else, or even to make everyone else happy. You were gifted certain talents and creative abilities that you are meant to express and share. Not only will it make you much happier to do so, but your contributions will actually benefit the world as well. If you keep holding back those parts of yourself, you deprive yourself and the world of your gifts. And the truth is, somebody, somewhere is depending on you to do what you have been called to do.

Most of all, practice feeling proud about who you are, even if some other people might think you’re weird or different. Remember that those people are not your people. Your people are the ones who will truly appreciate you for the authentic, unique being that you are. And if you will bravely share your authenticity with the world, more and more of those people will be drawn to you.