I love idea presented in Andrew Niccol’s film, In Time. In this Orwellian sci-fi movie, people have stopped ageing at age 25, but time become the currency for everything. Once they turn 25, their time starts counting down to zero. Once it hits zero, they die. They can see the time that they have left on a digital clock implanted on their forearm. Unless you are wealthy, you have to keep adding time to your life by working meaningless jobs. Everything you would use money for, like rent, food or drinks are paid for in time. You are always giving up some time you have to live and replenishing it, just to stay alive. People can transfer time to others, but most citizens in this world face dying every day.

The wealthy on the other hand, have thousands of years stored up on their clocks and will only lose their time if they are in an accident, are murdered or take their own life.

I say this all the time in my posts, but our time on this planet is limited. And when don’t know when our time will be up. Yet many of us don’t live like we’re dying. We put things off, waiting for the “right” time, taking time for granted thinking we will always have it. We complain about not having enough time, yet we don’t make the most of the time that we do have.

Life is happening now. And the truth is, “Someday” is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you.

Stop putting off doing the things that will make you happy and the things that make you feel alive. Remember, the world needs who you were made to be. It is time to spread your wings and fly.

Like Master Yoda says, “Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” When we hold onto feelings of anger, we do more damage to ourselves than the person we feel anger towards. The truth is, anger is a punishment we give ourselves for someone else’s mistake.

Holding onto anger has severe physical and psychological consequences. When we get angry, our bodies respond by feeling stressed. Our heart rate and blood pressure increase, and we release elevated amounts of adrenaline and cortisol, as well as other hormones. While our bodies do adapt to “normal” levels of stress, consistent and accumulated stress can contribute to disease and even death.

Psychologically, prolonged feelings of anger have been linked to loneliness, chronic anxiety, depression, eating disorders, sleep disorders, obsessive-compulsive behavior and phobias. Holding onto anger can cause us to adapt a victim mindset and we can become difficult to be around. You may have experienced these kinds of people. They often see their cup as half full and are vocal about their misery. They will blow misunderstandings and minor grievances out of proportion and are more inclined to end relationships with people rather than work through the issue.

You see, holding onto anger is a buffer we use to protect ourselves from how we are really feeling. Perhaps underneath the anger are feelings of hurt, betrayal or sadness. Addressing the real feelings may make us feel vulnerable and scared, so we stay angry.   

When you find yourself holding onto anger, ask yourself what you are really feeling besides the anger? What is at the root of your feelings? Focus on healing yourself because anger will destroy your heart. When the roots of anger run deep, hate flourishes. And holding hate in your heart will erode who you are. 

Free yourself from this burden of anger. You deserve to live a happy, victorious life.

The meaning that you attach to things in life influences your actions and emotions. Say for example, your co-worker who is usually chipper when you greet her every morning doesn’t even respond to you when you greet her. She doesn’t answer you or even look at you. On one hand, you can make a judgment about her and her intentions. You might even wonder what her problem is. Or, you might think to yourself that how she responded really isn’t how she usually is with you and you wonder if she is okay.

Many times, we will jump to conclusions, based on a slight we perceived. And what we think we know about the situation couldn’t be more off the mark. Maybe in the example above with the co-worker, she didn’t see or hear you say good morning because she was focused on news she received from her doctor that morning on her way to work. Or maybe her kid is sick at home, and she was thinking about how he is doing and if she should bring him to the doctor later.

How we choose to perceive things sets the tone for our emotions and how we choose to respond. What we believe to be true, both consciously and subconsciously, deeply influences the filter in which we see the world. It also has the potential to create confirmation bias. I talk about this extensively in a post about how this applies to the law of attraction.

The great news here is that because we have 100% control over the meaning we apply to things that happen, we have 100% control over how we perceive, feel, and respond to it.

Ask yourself if you feel better assuming the worst in someone or a situation, or giving everyone and everything involved the benefit of the doubt? Even if you end up feeling disappointed or hurt in the end, you still have complete control over how you respond and what you focus on going forward. Remember, your focus determines your reality.

When you were a child, you probably learned about how a caterpillar morphs into a butterfly in science class. There is a lot that happens in the process.

Let’s start with the caterpillar. The caterpillar is born into this world with a purpose – to become a butterfly. When he is born, he is technically larva. In this stage he consumes plenty of leaves and grows quite large. The one day, he stops eating altogether, hangs himself upside down off a twig or leaf and begins spinning his cocoon. This shiny, metallic-looking chrysalis keeps him safe while his body undergoes a radical transformation, eventually ending with him becoming a butterfly. 

Scientific American explains the stages and what it all entails in detail, if you are interested. But if we could see what was happening inside that cocoon, it would look like complete and utter destruction.

The caterpillar digests itself and, in the process, releases enzymes that dissolve all his tissues. But on a cellular level, rebirth is happening. Cells called imaginal discs survive the digestive process and begin building the foundation for the butterfly. Through metamorphosis, rapid cell division occurs, ultimately creating the beautiful butterfly.

Now already he has gone through incredible adversity inside his cocoon. But there is still more he must overcome. When butterflies emerge from their cocoon, it is called a rumble. The rumble is his struggle to escape the chrysalis. If you are watching this process, the struggle is uncomfortable to watch. You might be tempted to help the butterfly escape. But you cannot help him. His rumble cannot be skipped. If you help him out of his cocoon, he will never be able to fly. He needs the struggle to strengthen his wings. Without it, he will be flightless – and he was born to fly.

Like the butterfly, we must all face adversity to create and strengthen our character. We need the struggle so we can become stronger. When you are going through difficult times, remember that just when the caterpillar thought that the world was over, it became a butterfly. And you will be, too.

Have you ever noticed that the more you focus on something, it starts showing up in your life? Whether you’re worrying about something you don’t want, or daydreaming about something you do want, the more you focus on it, the more likely you are to draw it into your life.

Whatever you focus on, you are really flowing your energy into the creation of it. This is a great thing if you focus mostly on positive ideas that inspire you and uplift you, because you’ll keep seeing more examples of these things in your life.

Unfortunately, it works the same way with negative thoughts. If you focus on things that anger you, frighten you, or depress you, you’re going to start seeing more of these things showing up in your life as well. Your thoughts are literally an investment of energy into these potential outcomes, whether positive or negative.

I’ve talked a lot about how the law of attraction applies to what we believe and focus on. Not only does your dominant focus keep attracting similar thoughts and experiences, but it has a powerful impact on your emotional state as well. Every thought you think triggers a corresponding feeling in your body. When you focus on a potentially negative outcome, it doesn’t take long before you start feeling anxious and fearful. When you focus on a potentially positive outcome, you quickly start feeling excited and happy.

Understanding the power of your focus actually gives you a tremendous amount of control over your life experiences. Not only will you feel happier more of the time, but you will also have much more influence over your daily experiences by deliberately focusing on the things you want to bring into your life.

A simple way to start improving your focus is to ask yourself, “What do I really want?” Think about the individual areas of your life, such as your finances, relationships, physical wellness, home, and career. Make a list of your dreams and desires for each of these areas.

You can include material objects on your list, but also think about the way you would like to feel about these areas of your life. Would you like to feel more confident, or have more patience? Do you yearn for more free time, or more creative inspiration in your work? Write these things down.

Then spend a few minutes each day focusing on these ideas. Ask yourself, “How would it feel to have this thing? How would it feel to be abundant and successful, or to have plenty of free time?” Immerse yourself in these pleasant thoughts and feelings a few times a day, and you should quickly notice some welcome changes taking place, both in the way you feel, as well as the things that start showing up in your outer life.

At the same time, try to avoid focusing on anything negative that you do not wish to amplify in your life. Granted, this is easier said than done sometimes, but try your best to keep redirecting your focus to more positive thoughts. If you will practice this for even a short period of time, you will quickly come to see firsthand just how powerful your focus really is.

Whenever I need a reminder of how the universe works, I read Desiderata by Max Ehrmann and instantly I feel reassured that things will be okay…

Desiderata

GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

By Max Ehrmann © 1927

Whenever you go through struggle, it is hard to see it as a test to see if you are serious about the life you say you want. In those moments, self-doubt creeps in. You might even try to convince yourself that you don’t really want it.

When you feel like giving up, remember this:

• The only way out of it, is through it. Keep going.
• Remember why you started this journey to begin with.
• You grow through what you go through.
• Not getting what you wanted in this moment might be happening so something greater happens for you.
• The most critical decision is made when you feel like giving up.
• You haven’t come this far to only come this far.
• You haven’t failed. You’ve just found ways it won’t work. Just keep trying.
• No one has the power to shatter your dreams unless you give it to them.
• If your plan isn’t working, change it.
• Stay focused on the goal and flexible on how you get there.
• Be patient. Sometimes you have to go through the worst to get to the best.

When you feel like life is trying to break you, watch this:

Many times, this quote is referenced in the context of war and the soldier’s duty. Texts have suggested that men at war will continue to do battle, because they fear not staying and fulfilling their duty more than the war itself. How would they be perceived if they ran away? How would they feel about themselves if they didn’t honor their commitment and show up for their mission and fellow man?

I like to apply this idea to everyday life and why we do the things we do. Some of us stay in situations that no longer serve us because we are afraid to do something else. I have certainly stayed in situations way too long, simply because I was afraid of what would happen if chose to do something else.

But let’s look at obligations we have. And by that, I mean ones that we choose, not what others expect us to do, and we just do it because they expect it. When we choose to take on responsibilities or obligations, we are making a conscious choice and a commitment. I know for me, if I say I am going to do something to someone and I don’t do it, it causes me more harm than anything else. To me, I would rather go through something that frightens me, than be the person who makes false promises to the people I care about.

All that being said, it is really important to know your limits and what you are willing to commit to before giving someone your word. And it’s okay to take your time and think through what you are willing to commit to.