Our thoughts are nothing less than powerful, and they shape our everyday lives in ways that science has yet to comprehend fully. They can help manifest the life you’ve always dreamed of, but they can also be your worst enemy if you don’t know how to use their power accordingly. Thoughts can trap us into dark places if we give them the ability to do so.

Would it surprise you to know that the human mind processes thousands of thoughts every day? To keep our minds from becoming overwhelmed and overloaded, we have a filter located in our reticular activating system (RAS). What is our reticular activating system, you ask?

The Reticular Activating System (RAS)

The reticular activating system (RAS) is a collection of nerves located in the brainstem. Its primary purpose is to help control behavioral arousal, motivation, and consciousness and control your reactions to certain stimuli. The RAS is the guard dog that sits between your brain and your five senses. Think of it like a filtration system that determines the relevant information you need to receive and act accordingly.

So, how do you use this to your advantage? Since the RAS doesn’t recognize good vs. evil, you have to change your neural pathways. For example, if you hate to clean your house, the RAS will ensure that it filters out everything associated with tidying up. Try saying, “I love cleaning.” In other words, by changing your thought process, you’ll change your habits.

The Law of Attraction

The law of attraction is a philosophy that proposes like attracts like. For example, if you often have negative thoughts, you’ll attract negative outcomes. The law of attraction holds that thoughts are a form of energy, and that positive energy attracts success in all areas of life.

While some struggle with believing in the law of attraction, others swear by it. They claim by changing their thinking they are able to improve their spiritual, mental, and physical health and overall well-being. Here are some ways you can start harnessing the power of the law of attraction in your life:

• Be aware of negative thoughts
• Express gratitude
• Visualize your goals in great detail
• Search for positive outcomes in negative situations
• Practice using positive affirmations

It’s important to note that changes won’t happen overnight. However, adhering to the law of attraction can help you live a more positive and healthy life.

Remember, our thoughts can be complex. It takes time to make positive changes. But, if you do the work and strive to be better, you can’t go wrong. If your thoughts are powerful enough to wreck your world and bring you face to face with darkness, they are undoubtedly powerful enough to lead you into the light. 

As Albus Dumbledore said, “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” However, there are moments in life you must tap into your fantasies to make it through tough times.

Unfortunately, our society often stigmatizes daydreaming and fantasizing as a lack of motivation or seriousness. However, that’s not always true. Fantasizing is a natural part of being human and it plays a significant role in building interpersonal relationships and manifesting future goals and dreams.

While Dumbledore’s words are wise, the truth is, sometimes we need fantasy to survive reality. If you find yourself going through a rough patch, some fantasy might be just the thing that gets you back on track. Here are some ways to keep everything balanced in a time of need.

What Is Fantasy?

Fantasy is an art form. But, for definition’s sake, it’s the practice of thinking about things that are either impossible or improbable. Fantasies can take us to the beach on a cold winter day or to living in a mansion of epic portions. They take us away from the present moment, let us experience what it’s like to live without judgment, and are sometimes necessary to relieve the pressure of our stressful lives.

When To Fantasize

Finding the time to slip out of reality is a rarity in the busy day-to-day grind. However, setting aside some time to relax and de-stress is integral to self-care. You might find it easier to devote time to fantasies before you go to bed. What better time is there to drift into another world where cares are non-existent? When I do this, sometimes my fantasies infiltrate my dreams.     

Don’t Overdo It

As important as it is to devote some time to leaving reality for a brief moment, you mustn’t constantly be there. Though tempting, it can be the opposite of self-care if you’re always daydreaming.

For example, if you missed an appointment because you were busy in your daydream, you should probably scale back and stick to your devoted time slot. However, remember that too much of a good thing can be harmful, so there’s always a balance to keep you in check.

Fantasize, Then Let It Go

For this to work in your favor, you must learn how to leave the fantasies out of your reality effectively. Not to say that the things you dream of can’t become a part of your life, but if you’re using this technique to get through a tough time, it’s wise to keep it separate. So, once you’ve accomplished your fantasy and have the desired outcome, let it go and appreciate it for what it was.

Stay Present

Staying present is incredibly important in everyday life and helps keep your mind from negative thoughts. It can stave off anxiety and depression and help you relax. Even though the whole point of fantasizing is to escape, it’s crucial to spend time staying present, too. So, when you aren’t indulging in your fantasy or daydream, be mindful and stay present.

Sometimes life can be tumultuous, and a little fantasy can help relieve some unwanted stress. The trick is not to overuse this coping mechanism by doing this every time pressing and complex issues surface. So, set some time aside to indulge, take some deep breaths, and let your mind wander to unexplored places.

In Game of Thrones, Sansa remarks to her sister, Arya, that “the lone wolf dies but the pack survives” when talking about Winter. It is also said several times in the books, one time being a conversation between their father Ned, and Arya.

The meaning behind this quote is that when Winter comes, the people of Winterfell must protect each other, survive, and share their strengths to make it through.

If you’re like me, you have a hard time not wanting to face things alone. When I am going through something, I literally have to force myself out of my comfort zone and ask for help or support when I need it. I have this idea in my head that if I need something, I am inconveniencing someone else by asking. As comfortable as it can be to go it alone, it can be incredibly lonely at times.

The truth is, we need people. We need support from others, and it makes us feel good to be there to support others during difficult times.

The human brain is hardwired to form groups and tribes for self-preservation. Years ago, if a person left their group they would likely die. They could have been eaten by a tiger or experienced some other misfortune on their journey alone. But when you had a tribe, staying alive wasn’t just an individual’s responsibility. All members worked to ensure the safety of their people and because of that their chances of surviving were higher.

In modern times, this applies to our emotional and mental health. It’s important to surround yourself with people who will be there for you and vice versa. For me, I feel a lot of relief just telling someone else out loud what is going on with me. I don’t necessarily need advice. Sometimes just confiding my struggles with one other soul makes all the difference.

Routines can be a great help when it comes to managing your daily life. They allow you to plan and prepare for the days ahead, and therefore minimize the stress and confusion that can result from disorganization. The downside to routines is that a regimented life will usually start to feel confining at some point. Boredom sets in, and you start feeling irritable and restless.

Taking a break from your routine every now and then can bring a welcome sense of freedom and fun back into your life. Even very small changes can be invigorating, such as rearranging your furniture, or starting a new fitness program.

Ideally, you might start by thinking about the areas of your life that feel a bit flat and uninteresting, and come up with ways to make them more fun and inspiring. For example, if you are in the habit of carefully prepping meals every week and you tend to eat the same foods repetitively, research some new recipes, or try a restaurant where you have not eaten before, or even try a meal delivery service for a week.

If you tend to follow the same waking and sleeping schedule every day, set your alarm to wake up earlier to catch the sunrise, or stay up a bit later to gaze at the stars. Rather than watching the same programming on television week after week, seek out an interesting documentary or a musical concert to enjoy.

Take in some new scenery by deliberately choosing a new route when driving to your destination, or even plan a short road trip with a friend. Set aside a few hours each week to broaden your experiences by visiting museums, libraries, public gardens and parks. Get your body moving on some new hiking trails, treat yourself to a spa visit or get a massage once a month, or awaken your creativity with a new hobby.

Another important routine that you may wish to change is your habit of thought. If you find that you are often stuck in the cycle of complaining or criticizing yourself or others, choose a new positive thought to practice, such as, “I choose to focus on the good today.”

When you first begin changing your routines, you might feel a bit unsettled or displaced. You may have become so comfortable in your routines that you find yourself resisting any kind of change. If you push through that initial resistance, you will likely come to love the feeling of enthusiasm that results from trying new things.

While you may decide to keep certain routines in place simply because they help your life run more smoothly, you will also quickly become committed to releasing unnecessary routines wherever possible and embracing change in the areas that have become dull and stagnant.

This quote is often attributed to Kurt Cobain, who was the front man for the grunge band Nirvana in the late 80s/early 90’s. However, a variation of it was published in the book Autumn Leaves by André Gide in 1950.

There are always going to be haters who want to drag you down. In earlier posts I wrote about how when my husband and I first started our YouTube channel (unrelated to this blog) we got some haters. At first their comments bothered me, and now it’s just amusing. We get some good laughs. It’s easy for these people to spew their negativity in the comments section when they are hiding behind a screen.

Don’t ever lose yourself in the quest to satisfy people. You will never be able to please everyone, and people are always going to have something negative to say about you.

But back to Kurt and Nirvana. The interesting thing about the band was that they had a sound unlike anything else that had been heard in the business until that point. Rock music was transitioning from hair metal and a new sound of grunge was emanating from Seattle. In 1989, Nirvana released an album titled Bleach. Many people working in the music industry were blown away by this new sound. They all predicted that this new music would change the entire landscape of rock and roll – and it did.

For many people, their first exposure to Nirvana was probably in 1991 when their album Nevermind was released. The song, Smells Like Teen Spirit became a hit overnight and Nirvana became the new face of rock. This kind of music resonated with mainstream America and didn’t stop until Kurt’s death in 1994.

I remember seeing the music video for the first time and falling in love with this kind of music.

Nirvana paved the way for other great grunge bands like Alice In Chains, Soundgarden and Pearl Jam. These bands also became popular quickly.

Nirvana wasn’t afraid to go against the grain and be different. They didn’t care about being famous like people do today. I have a feeling if their sound hadn’t resonated with the world, they would have been content making a living playing locally around Seattle.

In the end, you are better off just being you. There is nothing that is worth losing yourself over, just to feel accepted and loved. Stay true to yourself and the right people will come into your life and love you for who you are.

I once had a professor who was a stickler for the tiniest of things. He took pride in telling his students about their shortcomings in the class. So, when our first writing assignment came along, I was extremely excited. I thought this would be a chance to show my improvements as a writer. As he approached me, I could see a big zero and the word ‘plagiarism’ written across the top when my paper in red ink. In a note on the side, he wrote what I had plagiarized. What he was saying I plagiarized were the words, “In the town of…”. I was mortified and furious.

Calling out a student for wording something in a way that is rather common for the context of the paper, was rather ridiculous. However, after that experience, I made sure that my words, unless quoting directly, were always original. I even bought a plagiarism tool to help me meet that expectation. As much as I didn’t like my professor, he made me take action to never be in that position again. In short, he taught me a valuable lesson. 

People of all kinds can be our most excellent teachers. And just as you can learn something from humans who are good and kind, you can learn something from horrible ones. Undoubtedly, everyone you meet has something to teach you if you’re willing to let your guard down and learn.

Here are some things to consider when given the opportunity to gain knowledge.

What’s the story?

People are fascinating, and though not everyone you learn from will be awful, figuring out a person’s backstory can help you define their motives. Additionally, learning about this person can give you insight if you have differing opinions. We all have different backgrounds and understanding someone else’s will open your eyes to new views.

Listen

Listening can be challenging, especially in sticky situations where personalities clash. But actively tuning in to what another person has to say is crucial in the learning process. Doing this helps you communicate your ideas and builds a bond – even if you don’t agree with attitudes or opinions.

Find peace

When I went through my learning experience with my professor, it took me a while to let go of the anger. I wanted to contest his decision. But because I understood his personality and some of his reasoning, I knew I wouldn’t find success in pleading my case. It wasn’t until I found peace with the situation that I made progress. Finding peace is difficult, but the lessons will follow after the calm rushes in. And the truth is, now when I think about this life lesson, I smile remembering what he taught me. It only helped me improve as a student and a writer, so I am grateful.

Actively use the lesson

After a lesson is learned, don’t hesitate to use it for all it’s worth. I use the lesson I learned from my demanding professor every day. Though some lessons might not be that significant, they’re still worth keeping close. You never know when you’ll need to plant a seed or help yourself in a tough spot.

Everyone has something to teach, whether it’s a person you are fond of or someone who clashes with your personality. It could be lessons you learn from observation or lessons that blatantly put you in a position to learn. In either situation, it’s an opportunity to grow and become a better version of yourself.