Evolve or repeat.

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We’ve all had to learn things the hard way at various times in our life. I’ve always been a fan of believing that if the same situations keep happening to me and I haven’t learned from it, they will continue to happen until I do.

Our time here is limited and we are meant to evolve. We are here to become better, to give more and to make our little place in this world better than how we found it. If we refuse to be open to the Universe and all that it has in store for us, we will continue to stay in the same meaningless jobs, unfulfilling relationships and chasing some ideal that we think we have to have or be.

Evolving is about progress, not perfection. It’s about learning from our failures because failure is just experience, and experience is our best teacher.

There is so much more for us on the other side of repeating our same patterns and routines. Where are areas in your life where you need to step up and evolve?

Continue ReadingEvolve or repeat.

Fear does not stop death, it stops life.

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It is said that 99% of the things we worry about or are afraid of, never actually happens. Yet we grant our fears so much validity in the moment. Perhaps if we believe we think on it happening enough, we can somehow control it better when it happens. But here’s the thing: nothing can really prepare you for loss, finding out you have an illness or anything bad happening. You will never be 100% prepared because you just can’t be.

If you are like me, when you get wrapped up in your fears, you forget to live. I literally have to give myself a brief period of time to engage with my fears and then I have to force myself to take a step back and accept that things are where they are right now. And I feel scared and uncertain, but it’s okay, because I am incredibly resilient and can get through anything. I literally tell myself that sometimes over and over again. Because believe me, if I keep engaging in the worst-case scenario, it will zap me all my energy and good things that I can enjoy or experience in the moment if I let it.

Here’s a small-scale example that really illustrates this quote. A few summers ago, my husband and I went on road trip and stopped at this nature preserve that we had been looking forward to visiting for a while. As we were walking towards the trail head, I saw a small garter snake and literally froze in place. Now I know my fear of snakes is off the charts, but I literally started to shake and had tears in my eyes. Crazy, right? I did not want to go on the trail – under any circumstances. I stood there frozen.

And as I was having my panic attack over this little snake, just chilling on the side of the trail, this little girl, maybe three or four years old came by. When she saw the snake, she got excited and ran towards it, to attempt to pick it up. But he was feeling frazzled by her interest and took off into the brush. She was living in the moment, wanting to experience it all.

Now as an adult, seeing a child get excited by seeing nature up close, as you’re shaking and nearly crying because you are so afraid, is really humbling. In that moment, I remembered being a child and being so fearless of everything. Watching her reaction was honestly a beautiful thing to witness and such an amazing reminder that we choose what we give meaning to in this world.

After I saw that, I wanted to hike the trail, and I am so glad that we did. We saw so many cool things and experienced nature in a way that really feeds my soul. Was I worried about seeing more snakes on the trail? Yes. But I pushed past my fear anyway and had an amazing experience. And…that amazing experience taught me that, 1.) I can overcome my fear of snakes and 2.) the magic of this world happens outside of our fears and our comfort zone.

Fear stops us from living and experiencing things. If you found out that you only had 30 days to live, what would you do? Would you express your love more? Would you take more chances? Would you do all the things you have been scared to do? Would you do all the things you have been waiting until you feel “ready” to do?

Isn’t it funny how when we feel that brush with death, all we want to do is live more than we ever have before? But here’s the thing – tomorrow is promised to no one. We will all die. And we don’t know when. Fear is not going to stop death. It robs us of life.

Our time here is limited and we are perishable items. What will you do today to live like you dying?

Fear does not stop death, it stops life video

Continue ReadingFear does not stop death, it stops life.

Don’t trust what you see. Even salt looks like sugar.

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Oh, how looks can be deceiving! Whenever I hear this quote, I think of a funny story from my mother where it illustrates this point quite literally.  When my mom was a child, she filled my grandmother’s sugar bowl with salt to see if she would tell the difference. Of course, by sight, it looked the same. Eager to have her morning coffee, my grandmother unknowingly heaped in two overflowing teaspoons of salt right into her coffee. And I’m sure you can imagine how awful her coffee tasted!

Now that social media has become a permanent fixture in our lives, we have so many examples of people living extraordinary lives that we wish we had ourselves. We see people we know who seem so happy, have the perfect family, who get to travel to cool places, have a promising career and look flawless in all their pictures. We are more connected than ever, yet studies show that we are lonelier than we have ever been.

What we are seeing around us is a curated life, a highlight reel – only what people want you to see. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others when we are bombarded by these images of perfection. What you need to remember is that what you are seeing, is often not the full picture.

That guy at work who seems to have it all together and take his family on luxurious vacations might really be swimming in debt. That girl in school who looks happy in every picture on her Instagram, may really be sad and feel more alone than she has ever felt.

Don’t always trust what you see. And more importantly, don’t be too quick to make assumptions. Patterns and context will reveal more rather than just relying on what you are seeing in the moment.

Continue ReadingDon’t trust what you see. Even salt looks like sugar.

Let go or be dragged.

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We’ve all been in situations where it’s hard to let go of something or someone. But what happens to us when we refuse to let go and develop a pathological attachment to a person or outcome?

Let’s start with the basics. One of our biggest human needs is certainty. Certainty makes us feel safe and secure. There is nothing wrong with you for wanting certainty about a person or outcome. What messes us up is when we invest too much of our mental well-being into outcomes that we cannot control.

People are unpredictable. Our jobs can change on a whim. What we do have control over is how we respond to these situations. If we choose to hold on when the Universe is closing that opportunity or door for us, we will become a slave to our desired outcome. It’s almost like we become a victim of our circumstances and become powerless.

Another place where this saying holds true is any kind of addiction. If you are an addict, or know someone who is, you know the kind of hell pit you can be dragged down if you don’t structure your life where it’s a better choice to let go of the behaviors that led you to addiction in the first place.

One thing we can always be certain of is that change is constant. Change is put into our lives to challenge us, to open new doors for us and to help us grow. Letting go can be a new beginning. What things in your life do you need to let go of?

Continue ReadingLet go or be dragged.