We’ve all had experiences with people who have come into our lives and posed as friends. Sometimes we quickly recognize these people for who they really are, but other times we don’t see it immediately.
In a previous post, I wrote about why it’s so important to surround yourself with people who truly support you. Having people around you who don’t want you to succeed can be detrimental to your mental health. Here are some signs to look for with fake friends and some ways to identify the good ones.
How to Know if a Friend is Fake
These people will seem great in the beginning. They’ll tick all the boxes of a great friend but beware of the signs below before you invest your time and kinship.
The Rude Dude
At first, you might find their rudeness funny, and no doubt they’ll laugh it off with you. After all, they’re the party’s life at times, and it’s refreshing to hang out with someone who isn’t afraid to speak their mind. However, you’ll notice that rudeness pops in more and more.
Scratch My Back, But I’m Too Busy to Scratch Yours
There are people out there that talk a good game. They’ll make you feel like you can speak to them about anything and that they will be present for you whenever you need them. However, when you look at the dynamics of your friendship, you find that you are the one who is always listening to their woes and giving them advice. When the tables are turned and you need them, they aren’t available for you.
The Jealous One
Some people can’t help but make you feel bad about yourself. It could start out as a little jab here and there, and then turn into full-on degrading meanness. These are not friends you want to have. Their jealous nature has nothing to do with them and everything to do with how they feel about themselves.
They Want You to Fail
While good friends support positive changes you are trying to make in your life, there are those who feel threatened by your advancement. Some people want you to fail so they don’t feel alone or that they are failing in their own life. Remember, misery loves company.
Signs of a Good Friend
Good friends are ones you love to spend your extra time with and can totally be yourself with. Here are some signs that you’ve snagged a good one.
They Listen
A good friend will always find time to listen. They’ll be there for you when you need them and always make you feel like you’re being heard. These are the people that will empathize with every situation you ever face and tell you the truth of the matter, especially when you need to hear it.
They Understand You
Every now and again, you’ll come across someone who will just understand you as you are. These are the people you can communicate with through a facial expression and will have your back no matter what. You can laugh, cry, yell, etc. There’s never a need for an explanation.
They Give When Least Expected
This friend will show up at your place of business unannounced with your favorite coffee or breakfast item. They have an endless amount of affection for your friendship and love you unconditionally. They’ll give their time and love freely without ever expecting a penny or favor.
They Show Up
A bestie will show up at every event, even if it’s not a big deal. They value the closeness and show it by being physically there to cheer you on in every endeavor.
They Don’t Judge
A true friend won’t judge you. They understand you and know your heart. And they make room to let you know that your feelings are valid.
As cliché as it may sound, true friends are hard to find. But sometimes, they show up when you least expect it, and a life-long friendship occurs. And the ones that aren’t so good? Well, they are a good lesson about exactly what you don’t want and need in a friend.
