In 1998, Semisonic released a song called Closing Time. It was catchy and now reminds me of a time in my life where I was really beginning to come into my own. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” are song lyrics in the pre-chorus of this song and it offers the perspective that endings can be viewed as an opportunity. Endings are difficult, but they can open our eyes to the endless possibilities that exist in the world.
The Challenges of Endings
“Ending” is a fairly broad term. An “ending” could be the end of a relationship, the end of a job, the end of someone’s life, or the end of a good movie. Everyone deals with endings differently, but endings always come with certain challenges.
Sadness
Endings often bring feelings of sadness. When something ends, we lose something that we will likely never get back again. We don’t like to lose what we have even if it means something better is coming.
Fear of Change
People are afraid of change. Change brings uncertainty and anxiety about what the future might hold. We tend to like being in control of our circumstances, and change can make us feel like we lack that control.
Figuring Out What Comes Next
When one thing ends, we need to figure out what to do next. Figuring out our next steps can be a significant amount of additional work. This can cause additional stress and worry that makes endings even more difficult to handle.
Confusion
Confusion is another feeling associated with endings. When we lose something, we also lose a piece of ourselves. We might be confused about what we are supposed to do, who we are, or how to make sense of the world around us.
Viewing Endings as New Beginnings
While endings are difficult, we can find meaning in our losses by learning to view endings as beginnings. There are a few different ways we can go about seeking out possibilities when something ends.
Let Yourself Feel the Loss
The first step to dealing with any form of ending in your life is to allow yourself to feel the loss. You need to process the emotions you’re feeling in order to move forward. Holding your emotions in can prevent you from healing and cause you additional stress that you don’t need.
Identify What’s Missing
Endings often leave us feeling like something is missing from our lives. For example, if you graduated college, you may feel you are missing mental stimulation, or if you lost your job, you may feel you are missing a sense of purpose. Identifying the missing piece will help you find ways to fill that void.
Look for Ways to Fill the Void
Once you know what’s missing, seek out opportunities to fill in the gap. The world is vast and full of possibilities. If you lose your job, seek out other jobs. If you lose a good friend, seek out new friendships. If you get to the ending of one movie or show, find another movie or show.
Make a Plan
Finally, make a plan for how to pursue those new opportunities and possibilities. When we seek a new beginning, it is important to have a plan in place to allow ourselves to reach our goals. List out at least three steps you need to take to make that change happen in your life, and work hard to make it happen.
Endings are a big part of life. Endings propel us forward and help us make positive changes in our lives. When we are struggling with a loss, it can be helpful to remember that, “every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
