Like Shakespeare said, expectation is the root of all heartache. When we start expecting things from others, we set ourselves up for disappointment because other people are inevitably going to let us down because they are human.
We receive messages from society that happiness is created by fulfillment of our expectations. The problem is that our expectations tend to be focused on external things we can’t control. And when we base so much of our well-being on those things, we become outcome dependent. In turn that can turn us into becoming controlling of other people and things because we are trying to get those needs met.
When we come from a place of abundance and find gratitude for even the smallest things, our perspective shifts. Because we don’t expect anything or believe we are owed anything, we can appreciate everything that comes our way. We know that we are accountable and responsible for our own happiness and our experience. Everything else that happens becomes a bonus.
We tend to forget this idea in our closest relationships. In an older post, I went into detail on what healthy love looks like. You can check it out here. Â
Expect Nothing. Appreciate Everything Meaning
The saying “Expect nothing, appreciate everything” helps us feel both gratitude and acceptance. When we expect nothing, we can view the world through a healthier lens. We accept that neither the world, nor anyone in it, owes us anything. When we lack this expectation we do not feel disappointment when things do not go as we planned. Likewise, when people do not act the way we wish, we aren’t troubled by that disruption.
Appreciating everything means we recognize and value what we have in our lives. It might be small or ordinary. Instead, of wanting more, we treasure what we have. It’s about finding joy and meaning in the present moment and in the things we often take for granted. Maybe you feel an appreciation for a kind gesture from a stranger. For others folks, nothing compares to the beauty of nature. I know for me, some mornings I’m just grateful for good health.
More than anything, when we can appreciate everything, while expecting nothing, we protect ourselves from a terrible disease.
Fighting off the Disease of More
During his tenure with the Los Angeles Lakers, Pat Riley spoke often about the “disease of more”. The single best cure for this disease is having a healthy attitude of gratitude. Riley explored the idea in greater depth in his 1994 book, “The Winner Within“. The subheading on the book hints at the overall message: A Life Plan for Team Players.
It is so easy in our social media saturated society to crave more. More things. More likes. Or even, more clout and status. But when it comes down to it, those are expectations. And that’s why we need to be mindful of this saying. It is almost like a superpower for contentment.
Choosing to be Content
When combined, these two concepts encourage a shift in perspective that can lead to a more fulfilling and contented life. If you choose to not expect anything, you open to the door to more pleasant surprise. Likewise, fewer expectations lead to far fewer disappointments. Meanwhile, appreciating everything can increase one’s overall sense of happiness and well-being.
This philosophy aligns with psychological research that suggests gratitude can have numerous benefits for mental health. Researchers at UCLA Health linked gratitude to reduced symptoms of depression, improved mood, and stronger social relationships. Moreover, studies from both HelpGuide.org and Psychology Today show gratitude can reduce stress hormones and improve psychological health by reducing toxic emotions such as envy and resentment.
In summary, the saying “expect nothing, appreciate everything” is a reminder to live with a grateful heart, to be content with what we have, and to find joy in the simple things in life. It’s a mindset that can lead to greater satisfaction and a more positive outlook on life.
Resources to help you expect nothing and appreciate everything
I have mentioned before how much I love the Five Minute Journal. I am sure I have bought about six of them in the last few years. For me, the best part is using it to record the things I am grateful for. And when I get to the end of the journal, I can look back on a months of things I truly appreciate.
There is so much power in seeing my own handwriting to remind me how blessed I am. Try it for 30 days and then let me know how much it changed your life.
