When you have to 100% provide for yourself, you have a deeper understanding of everything that you have. What you may have taken for granted before increases in value. You have complete ownership of what you do with your time and how you spend your money. You understand the sacrifices that are needed and have a deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation for the little things.

What I love about this quote is that there is power in being 100% accountable and responsible for yourself. When you succeed, you appreciate every sacrifice you had to make to get there. When you experience failure, you learn lessons about what to do or not to do next time.

One of the nicest compliments I’ve ever received is that I had to earn and fight for everything that I have in my life. Nothing came easy and honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am grateful for my struggle. Growing up I worked every day after school, sometimes juggling three jobs at once. Sometimes my family could help me, but most of the time I had to rely on myself. I used to feel like it sucked, but in hindsight, I am beyond grateful for it.

As an adult, my husband and I have had to work hard for everything we have. We’ve had many peaks and valleys. We’ve been homeless, having to live in our car and we’ve had ridiculously nice homes that we never thought we’d have. We’ve been without cars, having to walk everywhere or rent a car. And we’ve also had really nice cars and the ability to pay it forward by helping others in need.     

I’ve appreciated the good and the bad, but I know the life experience I gained by being in my valleys has made all the difference.

To really experience beauty, one needs to truly be alone and present with themselves and their surroundings. Distractions need to be silenced and you have to let yourself just be and soak in all that is around you.

For me, being alone and taking time to experience the beauty in this world is critical to my overall mental health. As much as I love spending time with people and doing things with others, I find that having time to experience the world through my own lens, uninterrupted, somehow grounds me. It recharges me and reconnects me to my purpose and why I am here. 

Another way to look at seeing beauty alone is through our own, unique memories. Only we can truly capture those moments and really feel what they meant to us. And it’s my little, innocuous memories that allow me to re-experience the beauty, as well as the feeling in my soul I had at that time. And those feelings…are comforting to me.

For whatever reason, in writing this, the beauty my souls feels is a memory of spending many summer days in my aunt’s pool when I was a teenager. I feel the water glide across my skin and the sensation of chlorine going up my nose, accompanied by a slight pain in my throat. It is dusk and the New England air has cooled, and I feel the contrast in temperature of the air and pool water as I climb the ladder to reach the wood deck. I hear my mom and aunt talking about work in the distance and the sound of the bug zapper that has just been turned on at my house, which was right next door.

While someone reading this may be able to put themselves there in that point of time with me, it is impossible for them to experience what I do because they never experienced it to begin with. They don’t have context or an idea of what that point in time means to me. They can’t experience the simplicity and beauty of it because they just don’t have the same connection to it.  Just like I can’t absorb 100% of the beauty that their memories bring them.

Our memories offer us each the ability for our soul to experience beauty that no other soul can. This beauty is unique to us.

What beauty does your soul see? 

On Friday, I talked about how if we are going to fear anything, it should be the idea of being in the exact same place as you are today. In our busy world, with all of its constant distractions, it is easy to lose sight of what we have been called to do. It’s easy to stay stuck where we are as the years pass. Many of us settle into traditional jobs because that is what we are “supposed to do”.  We forget about what we truly want and go with what we think will be the most stable path.

If you are having trouble knowing what you have been called to do, ask yourself these questions:

• What did you love doing as a child?
• What are your happiest memories growing up?
• What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
• What makes you forget to eat?
• What are you willing to stand up for?
• What are you willing to struggle for?
• What makes you forget about the world around you?
• What thoughts provoke strong emotions in your heart?
• What kinds of conversations do you have with the people closest to you?
• What do you feel passionate about?
• If you didn’t have to work a regular job, what would you do with your time?
• What’s on your bucket list?
• If you knew you only had one year to live, what would you do?
• How do you want to be remembered?

Sometimes the reason why we feel unsettled in the present is because we know we are meant to do more. Perhaps our soul is unsettled because somebody, somewhere is depending on us to do what we have been called to do.

What have you been called to do? Are you living that life today?

I often ask people who say that they are feeling stuck, when was the last time you did something for the first time? Most of the time, they really have to stop and think about it. After a pause, they will tell me that it was quite some time ago. They are creatures of habit and stay in their own patterns and routines. They never stray too far from their lanes. 

We were created to evolve and become the best versions of ourselves. If there is anything we should be afraid of, it is staying stagnant and not growing. It is being exactly where we are today, ten years from now.

When we get locked into our same old patterns and routines, we forget how capable we really are. We are so afraid of falling, we forget that by taking the chance we could end up soaring to places we never thought we’d see.

Where do you want to be a year from now? What about five years from now? More importantly, what small steps are you taking consistently today that will get you to where you want to be?  What are you gaining by staying where you are year after year?

I often feel unsettled in my same old patterns and routines. It’s because I know deep in my gut that I am meant to be doing so much more than I am. This deep knowing I feel is greater than anything I have ever felt.

Yet I am in a paralyzed state, unable to trust my own madness of creativity. Yet I know for all of us, our time here is limited and we cannot afford to live in potential for the rest of our lives.

So why do we live in this state of mere potential? For many of us, perhaps we’re scared of failing or of rejection. Or perhaps we just don’t know where to begin. Or maybe you feel that you are meant for more, but you just don’t know what yet.

So let’s start here. What would you do if you truly felt free? What would you do if you weren’t afraid? These answers are the beginning of understanding what you really want.

Pay attention to the things that speak to your soul and the things that make you feel alive. Those things are what you are meant for. We were born with wings because we were meant to fly. And someone, somewhere in this world needs what only you can uniquely give.

What are you meant to do?

Studies are coming out now that tell us that social media can negatively impact our self-esteem and overall mental health. More people are lonely and depressed than ever before. We are all connected, yet so apart. 

Most people online are posting what I call their “highlight” reel. It’s an incomplete picture of how things really are, yet we take what we are seeing to the bank as truth. How many of us post things online that make us feel insecure or not enough? Not many of us. We post what we are proud of, what we aspire to be or just cool “insta opportunities”. 

Social media is a tool and when used responsibly, it can be enjoyable. The challenge with it, is that it is really easy to go down the road of equating our “likes” with our self-worth. A million likes will never be enough if you don’t feel good about yourself. We need to stop defining our self-worth through external validation. It is an illusion.

Here are some things to remember when you lose sight of how amazing you are:

• You are already enough as you are. You don’t have to lose those last ten pounds or get that promotion to be enough.
• You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Today start approving of yourself and see what happens.
• You are worthy.
• You are capable.
• You are not your mistakes.
• Why are you trying to fit in when you were born to stand out?

And remember above all else, that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and loved more than you will ever know.