For those of us familiar with Toy Story, we know that one of Woody’s recorded catchphrases is, “Reach for the sky.”  It’s a good reminder that we should always set high goals and aspire to the the best versions of ourselves.

This quote is a variation of the original, which is, “reach for the stars.” It is said that it came from a poem called the Aeneid, written by Virgil sometime between 29 and 19 BC.

Let’s talk about what happens when you don’t give up and you reach for the sky.

1. Your fears are lessened. By continuing to put one foot in front of the other, regardless of the obstacles in front of you, you show pre-existing fears that you aren’t going to give in to them. Fear is born from unknowns. The more you push forward, the more experience you gain, and the less fear can have a hold on you.

2. You have more opportunities. When you refuse to give up, more opportunities will come your way because you are putting yourself out there. Despite the challenges, you are still showing up. People who don’t show up, don’t get opportunities.

3. Your creative ability expands. By choosing to go against the grain and not doing what everyone else is doing, you begin to see things differently. You adopt new ways of looking at problems or projects and can find creative ways to make them work.

In the 2000 movie, Cast Away, Tom Hanks plays a FedEx worker named Chuck Noland who is stranded on an uninhabited island after his plane crashes in the South Pacific. He is stuck there without any human contact for four years. He knew that somehow, he had to stay alive and keep breathing, even though logic told him there was no hope. But one day, that logic was proven wrong.

After a large section from a portable toilet enclosure washes up on the island, Chuck is able to build a raft and use some plastic as a sail. He’s able to launch the raft but gets stuck in a bad storm. Miraculously he survives. Shortly after, a passing cargo ship sees him on his raft and rescues him.

I’ve probably seen this movie over 50 times. I love Tom Hanks in everything he is in. But this movie is special to me because it is such a testament to the human spirit and our will to survive – even against the worst odds. 

Interestingly, Tom Hanks was the one who had the story idea for this movie. He had seen an article about how 747s filled with packages fly across the Pacific three times a day. And he wondered what would happen if one of the planes went down. And from there, over the span of six years, the story was flushed out. And after 125 rewrites of the script, Cast Away as we know it was created.

The other fascinating thing about this movie is that there is hardly a musical score in it. Movies typically rely on music throughout the film to lead the audience to what filmmakers want them to feel. This movie was practically devoid of it. We had some at the end of the movie. But during most of it, the lack of a score helped create the stark vibe and loneliness of being on that island. We saw the same kind of treatment of not having a score that created the same kind of bleak vibe seven years later is the movie, No Country for Old Men.

Another fun fact about this movie – An ABC executive was inspired by this movie and wanted to adapt it to a TV series. The idea never came to fruition; however, the idea was given to other writers. It eventually made its way to J.J. Abrams and the series Lost was created.

The idea behind what Tom says in this quote is that we never know when the tide will turn for us. We have to keep trying because what seems impossible, might not be…And the only way we know it’s not possible for sure is when we don’t try.

While we tend to try to avoid making mistakes at all costs, they often happen. When we make them, they can live in our minds and remind us that we have “failed” miserably at the most inopportune times. Some people are so troubled by their mistakes that they give up on lifelong dreams. And others understand that mistakes are the building blocks to success.

Our last mistake can be our best teacher. We just have to choose to embrace the lesson it can teach us.

Why do we learn more from our mistakes and failures than from our successes?

Mistakes Make a Lasting Impression

When I was a kid and I was able to ride a bike without training wheels, I became quite the daring adventurer. I saw riding a bike as a new freedom and loved feeling the wind on my face as I rode down the hill that connected to the street where I lived.

It was a decent sized hill on a connecting street that descended down to the dead-end street our house was on. I would ride down that hill, and quickly take a right hand turn to head home and never wiped out. I was a bit reckless, but I was a kid being a kid. Pushing limits to see what was possible. Well on this day, I learned just how careless I was being on my bike. As I came down the hill, I couldn’t slow down fast enough to make the right turn. And sure enough, as I made the turn, my bike crashed into a high curb and I flipped over the handle bars and into a ditch. There was a major drop on that side of the road that I apparently never considered when I would turn quickly onto my street.

I was cut up and bruised pretty bad, but miraculously, no broken bones. I remember this so vividly and how the dirt smelled when I landed on the ground. And I remember how upset my mom was when she saw where I flipped over. She didn’t know how I wasn’t seriously injured from it. It definitely left a lasting impression. But did I ever get back on my bike? I did. The very next day. I had to walk it home after the accident and the tire was fixed that night.

The mistake I made that day, even as a kid, taught me a few lessons. One, slow the fuck down. Stop riding my bike like I was immortal. Don’t be a menace on the street so you don’t put anyone else in harms way. I was lucky a car or person wasn’t there when I skid into the curve and hit the curb. This mistake was incredible experience that taught me to exercise caution and be mindful of my surroundings. It also taught be how to better gauge turns when riding fast. Lessons learned.

Successes Are a Result of Many Failures

Ask anyone who is successful in business, and they will tell you that their success didn’t happen overnight. Most successful people tried things repeatedly until they got it right. I know personally, with my own business, I have made some pretty horrible (and costly) mistakes. And I’ve gained incredible wisdom of what not to do in business because of it.

You see for successful people, giving up isn’t in their wheelhouse. They fail, fail, and fail again – learning and gathering information as they go to do it better the next time. So can you.

Understand that you are going to make mistakes. And that is totally okay, as long as you keep learning from them. Don’t allow self-doubt or discouragement to creep into your thoughts. And if they do, remind yourself of this: When a child is learning to walk and falls down 50 times, they never think to themselves, “Maybe this isn’t for me.” Can you imagine what would happen if they did? Or if their parents did? When you make a mistake, remind yourself that you have just found a way something doesn’t work or what you did wasn’t an effective way to go about something. Take it as experience and a lesson learned.

Have you met anyone who only talks about themselves and constantly puts others down? The quote, “None are so empty as those who are full of themselves,” means that being too confident in yourself, or “full of yourself”, can lead you to live a rather empty and unfulfilling life.

In this post, we will explore the problems of both overconfidence and low self-confidence and address ways you can balance the two.

What Does it Mean to Be “Full of Yourself”?

If someone says that you are “full of yourself”, they mean that you are self-centered and excessively proud of yourself. This phrase means that you value yourself more than you value other people, and you tend to be boastful. Being full of yourself could also be considered synonymous with overconfidence.

The Downside of Overconfidence

While having confidence in yourself is good, being too confident in yourself can cause some problems in your life.

Poor Decision Making

When you are overconfident in yourself, you tend to make decisions without thoroughly thinking them through. This can lead to poor decision making because you may neglect to consider the consequences your decisions can have and possible better alternatives.

Difficulty Forming Relationships

Another downside of overconfidence is that people tend to avoid people that think too highly of themselves. Being overconfident can lead to arrogance and considering other people as less important than yourself. In this way, overconfidence can negatively affect your current relationships and lead to difficulties in forming new relationships.

Taking on Too Much

Overconfidence can also lead you to take on too many obligations because you think you can get more done than you are actually capable of. This can lead to missed deadlines and poor performance, along with excess stress from being stretched too thin.

The Downside of Lacking Confidence

On the other hand, having low self-confidence is equally as bad. Those with a lack of confidence can expect the following problems:

Accepting Less Than You Deserve

When you don’t value yourself, you tend to accept less than you deserve in life. For example, you might stay in a dead-end job because you don’t think you can get a better job, or you might stay in a negative relationship because you feel like no one else will date you.

Underestimating Your Abilities

In addition, you may underestimate your talents, strengths, and abilities, which can prevent you from challenging yourself. When you don’t challenge yourself, you never grow and develop your skills.

Being Taken Advantage Of

Another consequence of low self-confidence is that people are more likely to take advantage of you. People can tell when someone doesn’t believe in themselves, and they use that as a reason to treat them like they aren’t as good as other people.

Balancing the Two

Both overconfidence and lacking confidence are problematic, so how can you meet in the middle of the spectrum? Here are three ways you can keep your confidence in check.

Listen to Feedback, but Take It with A Grain of Salt

Listening to what your friends, coworkers, and family have to say lets you know how you can improve yourself and lets you know what you are doing well. However, you shouldn’t let negative feedback damage your confidence too much. View it as a learning opportunity.

Understand Your Limits, but Recognize Your Strengths

Everyone has limits and acknowledging those limits can keep you out of trouble. On the other hand, everyone has strengths, and acknowledging those strengths can allow you to use them better your life and work performance. You need both.

Consider the Consequences, but Don’t Let Them Stop You from Trying

Decisions always have consequences. You should always be aware of those consequences prior to making a decision, but you shouldn’t let the consequence keep you from making a decision in the first place. Use what you know about the consequences to make an informed decision.

We often feel as though we are islands, separate and distinct from the people around us. This may be true on a physical level, but on emotional and spiritual levels we are interconnected with all other living beings, and even the planet itself. Everything we do, say, and even think creates ripples of energy that can have far-reaching effects on the world, both positive and negative.

You might think of yourself as someone who does not have the ability to impact the world in a meaningful way. And when you look around and see all the scary and sad things that are happening practically everywhere, they seem so big, intimidating, and completely out of your control. This can leave you feeling helpless and unable to do anything about them.

While you may not have the ability to eradicate hunger or create world peace all on your own, do not underestimate your ability to create real positive change in the world around you. You can take one tiny action and create a ripple effect that travels much farther and changes things more dramatically than you can imagine.

Remember that a single person can conceive a cure for a debilitating disease. One person can invent something that completely changes the world. One person can start a movement that inspires millions of people to unite for a common cause. This has happened repeatedly throughout history, and there’s no reason why you couldn’t be one of these people who become catalysts for powerful positive change.

However, in order to do so, you will need to shed the perception of yourself as someone who doesn’t have anything to offer or someone who has no control over the things that are happening around them. Instead, start empowering yourself with the reminder that you are not powerless, you are not weak, and you absolutely can create big positive changes in the world. Ask yourself every day, “What can I do today that will make things better for the people around me, and the world at large?”

Look for ways to serve, contribute, help, support, and heal everyone you encounter. Make it your daily mission to be a force for good, even in small ways. One kind word or deed can cause a ripple effect that travels around the world and touches countless lives, and every day is filled with thousands of opportunities to create more good wherever you go.

Even beyond the actions you take each day, allow the power of your clarity and intentions to facilitate positive change in your community and beyond. For example, meditating each morning and holding a strong intention for a more peaceful world can create an energetic shift that contributes to a more peaceful world. It’s quite likely that many thousands or even millions of other people around the world are probably holding that same intention, so your energy will join theirs, adding even more power to the ripple effect.

Regardless of how you choose to bless the world, the most important thing is to never believe that you are powerless or helpless to change anything. Simply do what you can, when you can and know that those small actions will continue to create bigger positive changes.

Have you ever felt broken and defeated, like you have lost everything? Maybe you have gone through an intense breakup, or you lost your job. Maybe you even lost your savings in a bad deal. Or perhaps you lost a loved one.

Whatever you have lost, literally or figuratively, know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. As cliche as that sound, know that while it feels bad right now, this is only one chapter of your life – not your whole story. Often times, these devastating chapters we live through propels us to the next chapters of our life that are extraordinary. Sometimes by losing everything, we also gain freedom.

Losing Everything Gives You Freedom from Your Fear and Limitations

When you have lost everything that is dear to you, you are free from your fear. Now that you have lived through your worst-case scenario, what is stopping you? What could be worse than losing everything? With this knowledge, comes immense power and strength. There is nothing left stopping you anymore. So, what is your move? What is the crazy thing you always wanted to do but you never did?

You have nothing to lose, so why not see what happens?

Freedom From Your “Fake” Self

When you lose everything externally, whether that is money, relationships, physical traits, or anything else that you previously identified with, you find the true version of yourself without anything else. For example, let’s say you were in a relationship and lost your identity while in it. Your life had become transformed to revolve boyfriend and you’ve always associated yourself as X’s girlfriend. You matched his schedule, spent time doing things he enjoys, and watched movies he likes. When you lose this relationship, not only will you find tremendous freedom in how you spend time, but you also get to rediscover yourself, without this relationship. What do you enjoy doing? Who are you as a person?

The same thing goes with looks, money, or a career. At the end of the day, those things are just how society sees us. But what defines you is much more; it’s your thoughts, your attitude, and your decisions. Often, we only come to meet our true selves when everything else is stripped away.

Freedom From What Doesn’t Work

If your loss comes from a failure, then you, my friend, have just gained some invaluable experience. You’ve now been given a clear indication of what doesn’t work. The more you ‘fail’, the closer you get to finding the solution. So, use this situation as a source of learning. See what didn’t work and try again.

Freedom From Expectation

When you have failed and lost everything, no one can expect much from you, right? Free from these expectations, you can choose to spend your time and energy on what truly matters to you. For example, perhaps your parents always expected you to go to a good college, get a degree, and get a good job. If you manage to lose that, they probably won’t have many expectations anymore. They’ll just want you to get back on your two feet, in any way possible. While this may sound pessimistic, it can actually be a good thing and offer a lot of freedom! Without their expectations, you can now choose to follow your own path. Perhaps you wanted to travel the world and create documentaries. With no expectations, you are free to follow your heart. And who knows, maybe that’s what leads you to your inevitable success!

Freedom from Attachment

When you lose everything, suddenly whatever you do have is a bonus. Everything, whether tangible or not, is a gift. When you begin living like this, you truly experience peace and freedom. Appreciate everything you have, whether it is your relationships, your health, your fitness, your capacity to think, or the beautiful sunset you can see.

It’s all a gift. When you lose everything, you often find true freedom from the shackles of expectation, external identities, attachment, and fear. So, if you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t lose heart. It might just be a blessing in disguise.

We all have that one thing – something we really want to start working on and have been thinking about for as long as we can remember, and yet we just aren’t starting.

Maybe you have taken the first step and written down what all you need to do before starting, but then think “there is so much I don’t know!” So, you put the whole thing on pause and think you’ll get to it someday when you have time. But as I have talked about before, often times that “someday” never comes.

Whether you want to start a business, learn a new skill, or start working towards a personal fitness goal, if you are waiting to know everything before you begin, you will never start. Why? Because if we wait until we are ready to do things, we’ll never do them. No one is ever really 100% ready for anything.

The best way to get anywhere in life is to start, even if you do not have all the answers yet. Trust the process, and the answers will come to you.

Here are some things to remember when starting something new:

1. If you wait to know everything, you’ll never start. Like I mentioned earlier, you can’t ever know everything or be 100% prepared. If you are waiting for that, you will never start. So, if you are still unsure about your capabilities, make a list of the absolute bare minimum you need to know before getting started. Find your answers to those and then start. By creating a list of things you absolutely need before you begin, you eliminate the possibility of using your ‘lack of knowledge’ as an excuse to keep procrastinating on taking the first step. When you find answers to these questions, you have no choice but to begin.

2. Focusing on what you don’t know breaks confidence. If you get hung up on what you don’t know and all the answers you don’t have, you will forget the fact that you DO know a lot! It is easy to get lost in a bottomless pit of information that you don’t seem to have, but that shatters your confidence. Instead, focus on what you DO know. Build yourself up. Encourage yourself. With that confidence, you can achieve your goals! The key to success is hardly ever knowing anything; rather, it is believing in yourself and having the confidence that you can do it and you will learn whatever else that is needed as you go. 

3. By getting started, you will ask more questions and gain experience. When you are aware that you do not have the answers to everything, something amazing happens; you open yourself up to the opportunity of learning more and expanding your knowledge. When you believe you know everything, you will stop your growth.

Remember, it is okay not knowing everything, because no one does. There are things that Elon Musk doesn’t even know. So be okay with not knowing. It is better to ask questions and be a constant learner and student of life, than to think you must know it all, and stagnate your growth.

4. There is no point in knowing everything. What is the point of trying to be an expert at everything? A big reason why successful people achieve their goals is because they focus on one goal at a time, play to their strengths, and cultivate their zone of genius, rather than diluting their time and energy trying to be good at everything. So don’t waste your time trying to find the answers to everything. Focus on what you know and what you are good at, and delegate or outsource the rest (that is necessary). If there is something you don’t know and is not necessary, then don’t worry about it.

5. Starting something new allows you to practice the art of letting go. When you don’t have the answers to everything and your plan is already in motion, you are forced to let go of some things you don’t know. This is an opportunity to get more comfortable to not having the answers to everything. And not only will this help you get started towards your goals, but it is also a life practice that will help you cultivate peace and acceptance. Breathe. Relax. It is okay to not have all the answers and all the knowledge.

If you want to start something, whether it is a new business, a new job, a passion project, or even a new goal like gaining 10 lbs of muscle, be aware of falling into the trap of having all the answers before you begin. Remember, you can learn as you go, and if you do so, you’ll grow even more. So go ahead and just start!

Life is filled with good times and bad times, and sometimes the bad times can make us feel hopeless despite the good times we’ve had before. The quote, “No matter how hard it is, or how hard it gets, I’m going to make it,” is a reminder to stay positive during the most difficult parts of life because no matter what, you will come out on the other side.

How to Stay Positive in Trying Times

Staying positive in trying times is easier said than done. However, there are many ways you can go about improving your outlook when your days seem bleak.

Practice Gratitude

Take a few minutes every day to think about three things you are grateful for. In hard times, it can be difficult to see the positive aspects of your life because you get so focused on the negative event. Expressing your gratitude can allow you to take on a new perspective and give you hope for the future.

Lean on Your Social Supports

People are social creatures, and we all have people in our lives that we can lean on when life gets tough. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your friends and family members when you’re feeling worn out.

Do More of the Things You Love

When you experience hard times, you may find that you focus all your attention on the problem at hand and forget to still enjoy your life. One of the best ways to cope with trying times is to do something you love to do. This serves as a distraction from your challenges and reminds you of the good in life.

Avoid Rumination

Rumination is the act of dwelling on thoughts for an extended period of time. You should avoid ruminating on negative thoughts because they are not helpful and can cause significant damage to your mental health. If you find yourself ruminating, do something to distract yourself or challenge your negative thoughts with positive thoughts.

Practice Self-Care

When life gets challenging, we tend to forget to take care of ourselves which can lead us to feel even worse. Practice self-care by taking a shower, going for a walk, brushing your teeth, cleaning your home, or eating a healthy meal. These simple tasks can help you feel better and more capable of making it through the hard times.

Make the Most of The Present

Living most of your life in the past and future is not healthy because you are living in the present. When you find yourself in trying times, focus on living in the present by practicing mindfulness, distracting yourself from thoughts of the past or future, and finding something to look forward to every day.

Focus On What You Can Control

We like to feel in control of our lives, and during difficult times, there are a lot of things that are simply out of our control. However, there are always some things that are within our control. Focus your energy on what you have the power to change and forget the rest.

Slow Down

When life gets hectic, it can feel like you never have a chance to breathe. Taking a moment to slow things down can help you collect your thoughts and create a plan of attack. Try implementing this practice into your morning routine to ensure you slow down every day.

Always remind yourself that “No matter how hard it is, or how hard it gets, I’m going to make it.” You have the power and strength to overcome anything that life throws your way. You just need to keep a positive attitude and trust that things will work out in the end.