Have you ever seen a very wealthy person, who seems to ‘have it all’, be extremely discontent and unhappy?
On the other hand, can you think of someone who has almost nothing, happy with the bare minimum?
We all have to face life and its variety of offerings, including both the good, the bad, the highs, and the lows. However, how we view the events in our daily life is what determines whether it becomes a struggle or a blessing.
Many times, we will not have control over the hardships we face, or the tragedies that will happen to us. All we have control over is our response to it. We all have a choice to decide how things affect us. In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” We can’t change what happened to us. But we can change how we respond to it.
But when things are really bad, how do you see it as a positive thing?
1. Practice gratitude. Even in difficult times, we all have something we can be grateful for. Whether it is our health, our bodies, the sky, our loved ones, or something tangible like our phones or wifi! By actively practicing gratitude, you will develop a more positive outlook towards life, even when bad things happen.
2. Find the silver lining. Oftentimes, a bad situation can also have good sides. For example, you may have lost your job. While people are quick to say that it is “bad”, it could also be a blessing in disguise. Perhaps this enables you to find a better job with more flexible hours and a kinder boss. Or maybe you decide to start your own business! Or imagine if you find the love of your life or your soul sister at your next job!
The possibilities are endless, and we can always strive to see the silver lining of every bad situation. So, what determines if the event was good or bad? Your perspective.
3. Accept the situation and look for solutions. When something unexpected happens, it’s easy to get frustrated and complain, blame, or sulk. However, a much more beneficial response would be to accept the situation. Acceptance is one of the pillars of mindfulness and is key in living a more positive life.
For example, if you are stuck in traffic, rather than complain, it would be more beneficial to you to accept that you can’t do much about the situation. Then you can try to find some ways to enjoy that time, like calling a friend or listening to an interesting podcast.
4. Add more joy to your life. Try to create some more joyous moments in your life. For example, create an indulging morning routine where you get to enjoy a cup of coffee and your favorite book. Or, perhaps you decide to watch the sunset every weekend. Put on your favorite song as you drive to work!
These small things will help you feel more positive throughout the day, reminding you of the little joys that life has to offer, so that even when you are faced with some hardship, you can view the situation with more perspective. Sometimes when something goes wrong, we tell ourselves that everything is going wrong. But that’s not true. Adding joy to your everyday life gives you small reminders that not everything is terrible.
The truth is, when you make the decision that life is hard and difficult, and then something bad happens, you will just reinforce this belief that life is a struggle. And you will keep seeing that belief proven repeatedly. For example, you might get stuck in traffic, and feel like life is terrible. Then you enter the parking lot and you can’t find a parking spot, so you feel life sucks.
However, if you were to believe life is beautiful and joyous, then when you enter traffic, you feel grateful that you have this chance to call your mom. You reconnect with her, and you feel even better about your day. Then, when you can’t find parking, you drive around and appreciate the beautiful sky, and your favorite song comes on the radio. You have a mini dance party in the car, and head to work enthusiastically!
Life is always going to throw us a variety of situations, but ultimately, we have the power to decide if it is good or bad. So what do you choose?
