When you adapt to the energy in a room, you are reacting to a situation or vibes that are being sent out from others. When you influence the energy in the room, you do so by ‘holding onto yourself’ in those situations, maintaining your own frame and you come from a place of responding to life. You can’t control how other people use their energy, but you also don’t allow yourself to acquiesce or comply with the energy others are giving off.
So, what do I mean by ‘holding onto yourself’ anyway? What I mean is being able to hold onto your own thoughts and feelings, and not allowing external things to influence your mood. You are responsible for how you feel and how you act, regardless of what other people are doing.
Say I am in the company of someone who is super negative. Instead of adapting to their negative energy and allowing it to infect my mood, I hold onto and honor my own thoughts and feelings of being in a good place. I am polite and kind to them and I excuse myself after the conversation. I don’t allow their negativity to get into my head and influence me or my mood.
That being said, sometimes it is really hard to not allow people who are negative or miserable to get into your head. That is why spending less time with them is ideal, but let’s face it, if it is someone who you are close to, that can be really hard.
If you struggle with being assertive in these kinds of situations, I wrote a post recently about implementing Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills into your life. These are really basic life skills that teach you how to be more in the present, manage your emotions and feelings of distress and be assertive in your relationships. You can read all about it here.
