There are times in life when it’s wiser to hold back on speaking your mind, especially if it could get you into trouble or hurt someone you care about. This is especially true during those moments when sharing your thoughts and opinions would only escalate a conflict or argument, rather than promoting peace and harmony.
However, even if you choose not to speak your thoughts aloud at certain times, it’s still important to validate them to yourself, especially if there are strong feelings connected to them. Holding back your words can create an emotional war within yourself. It disallows your feelings their full natural expression, so you end up bottling them up inside and feeling the weight of those unspoken sentiments. Those unprocessed emotions will continue to be triggered by the people and events around you, which only keeps you in a continuous loop of emotional reaction as they keep recurring with no outlet.
One good way to escape this cycle is to give yourself permission to fully express your thoughts and feelings when something is troubling you, even if you only express them to yourself. Choose a time and place where you can be alone for a few minutes, and call to mind an image of the person or situation that is upsetting you. Give yourself five or ten minutes to vent your thoughts and feelings about it. Speak your mind and allow your feelings to flow freely.
Then take a deep breath and decide that you are letting go of the situation. Say aloud, “I have expressed my thoughts and feelings about this person or situation, and now I am choosing to let it go.” Focus on the feeling of emotional detachment, being free and clear of all inner turmoil, and feeling stable and grounded within.
A process like this gives you the power to quickly and easily transcend any negative feelings that are triggered by other people or the things you experience each day, and even the troubling things that are happening in the world.
You can also use this same technique to release negative emotions that you may still be holding from past events. Think about the last time your partner said something that hurt your feelings, or the time in elementary school when your teacher embarrassed you in front of the class. Old memories like these can still hold an emotional charge if you never fully processed the feelings when the experience happened.
Process and release those feelings in the same way, by simply speaking what’s in your heart and allowing your feelings to flow naturally. What would you have liked to say to your teacher, or your partner, or anyone else who has hurt you in the past? Say it now. It does not matter that they can’t hear your words, it only matters that you give yourself permission to express the way you feel. Once you have done that, you will feel a sense of closure and you can move forward feeling much lighter and clearer.