In Game of Thrones when Robb Stark is telling a story about his father, Ned Stark, he says that he once asked his dad, “how can a man be brave if he’s afraid?” Robb goes on to say that Ned told him that when a man is afraid, it is the only time he can be brave.
It is easy to say to others, or to yourself, that you are brave when times are calm. When there is no adversity or danger, anyone can say they are brave. But it is only when we are standing in the face of fear that we can truly be brave.
In other words, bravery occurs not in the absence of fear, but in overcoming fear. It is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Triumph over fear is praiseworthy, not being without fear.
We also see this idea play out with oaths in the series. Members of the Night’s Watch swear an oath of duty at the Wall that forbids marriage, family, and land ownership until they die. It is easy to stick to the oath you pledged when it isn’t in competition with anything else. But once it is, that is the only time the oath one took can be proved.
