It is human nature to forget the good things and focus on the bad things when they happen. In an earlier post, I wrote about how we are too prone to engrave our trials in marble and write our blessings in sand. You can read it in full here.
While we may wish that we didn’t have to go through tough times, they are essential for our growth. And life will continuously test us and throw us curve balls. Without struggles or challenges we wouldn’t be able to experience triumph. Just like we can’t experience happiness without knowing sadness.
Negativity Bias
As we go through life, we often ignore all the good around us. Whether it’s the simple basic needs that we have, such as food and shelter, or even cherishing an accomplishment like a promotion, we tend to focus on our struggles and challenges.
When someone asks you about your day, think about what your first answer is? Do you generally think of the mishaps, like the time you tripped in front of your boss, the coffee that got cold, and that one negative comment on social media? Or do you naturally pivot to the fact that you have a job, you had a delicious bagel, and the 100s of positive comments on social media?
We human beings are wired with what is called the negativity bias. This is an innate instinct to focus on the negative around us so that we can quickly identify threats and survive. When our ancestors heard a strange sound that could be a tiger or just an innocent bird, they had to assume the worst. Their negativity bias protected them and helped them survive.
While this evolutionary instinct served us well back in the day, in our modern world where our lives aren’t exactly in constant danger, the negativity bias tends to distract us from the good in our lives to focus on the bad. Sometimes we need a push, occasionally in the form of a challenge, to open our eyes and see all the good around us.
Our Struggles are a Blessing
Through our hardships, we can learn to value and appreciate our blessings even more. With no dark, there is no light. With no night, there is no day. Similarly, without any pain, we wouldn’t know what joy is.
Hardships Can Uncover Goodness We Aren’t Aware Of
Recently, I received some hate comments online. While I am pretty immune to what people say online, these comments were incredibly hurtful, and I didn’t expect them at all. However, when I expressed my experience, numerous people who I had no idea appreciated my content reached out to me, sharing love and gratitude for what I do.
This is a perfect example of how a hardship can reveal existing blessings that you didn’t even know about earlier!
Gratitude
In order to truly be happy, we must take stock of everything we have in the present moment. We are blessed with so much, and the more we appreciate it, the more we will begin to notice it and feel better. Practice gratitude on a daily basis. Tell your loved ones how grateful you are for them. Wake up and express gratitude for the gift of a new day.
This gratitude will not only help you in tough times, but rather tough times will also help you be more grateful. For example, only when you have a headache do you realize how blissful it is to have a pain-free body! That’s when you can be grateful for all the times your head didn’t hurt.
We all face hardships and challenges. Rather than run away from them or fear them, allow them to show you the good in your life. Reflect on your blessings. By making this a daily habit, you will inevitably realize there is so much to be thankful and grateful for.
