It doesn’t feel good to be criticized or belittled by others, and it’s easy sometimes to take their harsh words to heart. You may think to yourself, “Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m doing everything wrong. Maybe I’m not talented enough, strong enough, or good enough.” You may even believe them so completely that you will give up on an important goal or sink into a state of despair and hopelessness.
Criticism can either be constructive or destructive. It can help you to improve your skills and talents, or it can dissolve what little confidence you had. The difference will depend on how strongly you already believe in yourself. If your confidence and self-esteem are low, you will be much more likely to believe someone when they criticize, insult, or complain about you.
On the other hand, if you already have a solid belief in yourself and your capabilities, you can view criticism objectively. You can ask yourself, “Are they right? Is there any truth in what they are saying?”
Rather than taking the negative comments at face value, you will be able to extract any useful bits of information and discard the rest. You will also be able to see clearly that sometimes people criticize because they are trying to be helpful, but other times they use their words in an attempt to control, or they simply have a habit of complaining about everyone and everything around them.
Consider right now how strongly you believe in yourself. Are you generally confident in your own capabilities? Do you feel a sense of healthy love and respect for yourself? When someone judges you harshly, are you able to see that it often reveals much more about them than it does about you?
Your answers to these questions will let you know if your self-esteem and confidence could use a boost. Building up your confidence and learning how to love and respect yourself in a healthy way can be done fairly quickly and easily.
The first step is to praise and encourage yourself for everything you have achieved so far. Think about your past experiences, and recall any challenges that you overcame, or goals you achieved. Recognize that you could not have done that if you didn’t have the inner strength, tenacity, and skill to push through those challenges. Keep building up your confidence by saying frequently, “I am strong. I believe in myself. I can handle any challenge that comes my way. I can achieve anything if I want it badly enough.”
The second important step is to practice loving and respecting yourself each and every day. Say often, “I completely love and accept myself exactly as I am, and I am getting better and better every day.” Acknowledge that you are not perfect, and that you do not need to be perfect in order to be lovable. Remind yourself that you can love and accept yourself right now, while also striving to improve your skills and knowledge in all areas of your life.
Within a short period of time, you should notice that you no longer feel deflated by other people’s opinions. You will be able to consider and use constructive criticism to improve where necessary, but you will no longer be basing your self-worth on the validation of other people. Instead, you will have developed a solid inner core of self-love, strength, and confidence that cannot be shaken by outer influences.
