Have you ever had to make a difficult decision? Maybe you had to break up with your significant other, quit a job, or move to a new country.
Big life decisions can be difficult and scary because it means doing something different than what we are used to. Our bodies are wired to keep us in our comfort zones, where we feel safe in the familiarity of things. But when our comfort zone is a toxic relationship or an ungratifying career, what is familiar and feels safe can be the very thing we need to get away from.
Such decisions are difficult. Here are four tips for you to help you make a big, difficult decision:
1. Take your time. Sometimes we need a few days to think even when we know what we want. This is especially true in situations where the decision is extremely drastic or when we are stepping out of a situation we are extremely comfortable with.
For example, you could be certain that you want to get out of your 10-year long relationship that is toxic and harmful for you mentally and emotionally. However, because you are so used to having this person in your life, it can take some time for you to actually take action and leave the relationship.
That’s okay. Remember, this decision is big, and you can take your time. What is important is that you don’t let the addiction to familiarity keep you in a situation that you’ve outgrown.
2. Consider the bigger picture. What feels good to you right now might not be what you want long-term for yourself. Consider your values, your beliefs, your dreams, and your long-term goals. What do you need to do to move towards who you ultimately want to be?
Often, the monthly gratification and security that a job salary gives can keep us stuck in a career we hate. Similarly, the idea of being alone can keep us in a relationship that’s bad for us.
When we lose sight of our long-term goals, we can get stuck in situations that are holding us back. Thus, it’s important to consider the following questions:
- Does this align with my beliefs and values?
- How will this affect my future?
- What am I sacrificing by not making this decision?
- Is this decision moving me closer towards my ultimate goals and dreams?
3. Make a pros and cons list. The age-old pros and cons list is a proven decision-making strategy. Making a pros and cons list helps you make difficult decisions logically, rather than acting on impulse. Such a list is also a great way to get what is in your head out on paper so that it is easier to make a more well-rounded decision, after taking all factors into consideration.
4. Acknowledge how you feel. While logic is helpful in making decisions, it’s also important to consider how you feel about your decision. Which outcome gives you a sense of peace? Which outcome feels good, in the long run?
Be careful not to mistake a sense of familiarity for what feels good. Consider true peace, not what is momentarily easy.
The best decisions are the ones that make logical sense and also feel good. They are supported by both the head and the heart.
Every moment presents us with a decision. Some are easy, while some can be quite difficult. However, it’s important to always tune into your head and your heart when making decisions. Consider where you are avoiding difficult decisions at the expense of your peace and your future. Sometimes, we might have to do something difficult like breaking up with someone we love when we realize that our values don’t align. Doing so can be extremely difficult, but it can also finally give your soul the peace it has been craving.
