Most of us have been conditioned to believe that failure is a bad thing, and we try to avoid it at all costs. Sometimes we’ll go to great lengths to avoid experiencing failure in any form, even to the extent that we refuse to try at all, which is far more damaging than failure itself.
Have you ever berated yourself because you failed to do something well? Have you even personalized your failures and allowed them to skew your perception of yourself, as if failure is a character flaw that you will never be able to overcome?
It’s interesting to note that any person who has achieved great success would most likely tell you that they have a long string of failures in their past that finally led to their success. Most of them would also probably tell you that their success didn’t happen overnight, and they had to persevere through many false starts, fumbles, and mistakes to get where they are today.
Use these wise people as models and make a firm decision that you are going to turn failure into your friend by re-framing your perception of it. Think back on any failures that you have experienced in the past, and forgive yourself for not doing as well as you’d hoped. Remind yourself that you are not “a failure,” you are simply a person who has not been successful at everything you have ever attempted to achieve, and the same is true for every person on the planet.
Then decide that you are going to use your failures as stepping stones to success. When you attempt something that doesn’t work out, consider what you just learned from the experience. Did you gain some valuable insights from the experience? Can you use that knowledge to try again with a different approach? Do you now have greater clarity about what you really want? Remember, failure is an opportunity to gain invaluable experience.
Of course, it’s normal to feel a sense of disappointment when you miss the mark, but don’t allow yourself to get stuck in those feelings. Work through them, talk them out with a friend or a coach, and then pick yourself up and keep moving forward. Consider your next move. Does your goal need to be adjusted, or just your approach to it? Can you perhaps brush up on your skills, knowledge, or practice so that your next attempt has a higher chance of success?
Empower yourself to see the failure from a healthy perspective. Don’t make it a reflection on who you are as a person. Failure is never the end, it’s just one stepping stone along the path to success. It’s one approach, one attempt, one method that didn’t work out, but there are probably many others that can still work out great.
Finally, remind yourself daily that success is a direct result of trying and failing repeatedly until you find the way that works. Read stories about people who have achieved great success, and everything that they experienced along their journey. Decide that you are going to be one of those success stories, and that nothing is going to prevent you from achieving the success you deserve.
