Everyone has regrets, and you can probably recall some poor choices you’ve made during your lifetime, maybe even things that still make you feel deeply ashamed or embarrassed, even years later. If you have been carrying a heavy load of guilt or mentally beating yourself up for bad judgment calls that you’ve made in the past, it might be time to begin thinking about them in a healthier way.
First, it’s important to recognize that everyone makes mistakes, and everyone acts impulsively at times, either because they’re upset or they’re just not thinking ahead to the potential consequences. Expecting yourself to always know the right thing to do or say in every situation just isn’t realistic. You’re going to make mistakes and feel regretful about them, just like the rest of humanity.
Forgive yourself for any mistakes or poor choices that you’ve made in the past. Decide right now that you’re going to set down that heavy load of guilt you have been carrying. Acknowledge that you would have made better choices if you had known then what you know now.
It helps to remember that the good judgment you enjoy now is a direct result of the bad judgment you’ve exercised in the past, so be thankful for those experiences. Even though you would probably love to go back and do things differently so that you could have avoided the pain those experiences caused, doing so would also erase the powerful lessons that you learned through them.
What did you learn from your mistakes? How did those experiences change you for the better? How have the experiences changed the way you live your life today? Write these insights down in a journal or notebook. Read it over a few times so you can absorb the wisdom that these experiences gave to you, which should help you to let go of any guilt or regret that you’re still carrying.
Next, think about your current circumstances, and notice if there are any patterns where you keep repeating the same mistakes. Ask yourself, “What is the lesson that I’m not getting here? What can I do differently to finally move past this pattern?” Consider the ways your life would look and feel if you were making better choices in those areas. As you stay focused on that vision, you will start to receive ideas and insights for ways that you can improve them.
Finally, use the skill of foresight before taking any actions in the future. As you’re getting ready to move forward, pause for a moment and consider whether the decision you’re about to make or the action you will be taking is the healthiest and most productive, for yourself and everyone involved. Sometimes it’s impossible to know for sure but do your best to predict the most likely outcome.
You may still make mistakes along the way, simply because you can’t predict absolutely everything that might happen. But at least by considering the potential consequences you will be able to make the best possible judgment call, based on the information you have in that moment.
