Sometimes taking a step back and having sometime to yourself enables you to consider people or things more objectively and see them in a truer but less favorable light. We tend to lose sight of what is happening in situations when we are in the middle of them and things emotional. When we stay in situations like this for too long, we tend to lose sight of what we deserve one compromise at a time.
How can we use time away from someone or a situation to re-center ourselves and remember what we deserve?
We need to look at ourselves closely. When you truly begin to believe in what you bring to the table in any relationship, you will tolerate less of the bullshit. When you know your worth and what you deserve, you will find it harder to stay around those who don’t. And when you close the door to what was before, you put yourself out there to attract what you deserve and all these new, amazing doors will open for you.
My question is, do you really know what you deserve? We often accept the love we think we deserve and many times, our idea of what that is, is actually not accurate. We tend to settle or stick with what is comfortable for us, even if it’s suboptimal. Or even if it makes us sad. We tend to stay at jobs we hate because it’s predictable and pays the rent. We lose sight of what we deserve one compromise at a time.
When thinking about this topic, I first thought about some ways you can identify what you want and deserve in your relationships and career. But I found myself coming back to one thing. And that is simply this idea: When you focus your time, effort and energy into becoming the best version of yourself, everything else will follow. And it will be there in abundance.
Let me say that again.
When you focus your time, effort and energy into becoming the best version of yourself, everything else will follow. And it will be there in abundance.
When you to treat yourself with love and respect you have already set the bar for how others should treat you. And the right people will love that about you and gravitate towards you. When you know that you bring value to the table at work, you will start reaching for more, because you know you’ve earned your place in a better role.
It really comes down to how you treat yourself and what you expect from yourself. When you raise that bar, people take notice and know what you have to offer. And they want to be part of that.
I’ve talked about the law of attraction many times in posts. Let’s talk about the science behind it.
What we believe about ourselves influence what we attract. Our beliefs create a filter in which we see the world. If we believe that we aren’t worthy, our brains will seek out information or “evidence” to push through the filter that validates and confirms what we believe about ourselves. This is confirmation bias. Our brains will purposely seek out people who confirm the negative (or positive) beliefs we have about ourselves. But if we believe that we deserve good things and we’re consistently working on becoming the best versions of ourselves, we will naturally attract that in our lives. We will seek out “evidence”, if you will, that validates, confirms and supports the idea that we deserve good things. We will attract people who are liked minded who want to constantly grow and improve themselves. As a result, what we give and receive in these relationships will have more opportunity for deeper connections and experiences.