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Darling, you have outgrown the circus.

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There have literally been many days that I have repeated this quote to myself. When I would allow destructive, unhealthy behaviors in my relationships or when I would stay in a toxic work environment (the quote not my circus, not my monkeys works for that one, too! Maybe I will write about that one next week!). The truth is, sometimes we stay in the circus because we feel uncertain about what else to do. In a romantic relationship we may need to end it because we’ve outgrown someone else’s unhealthy behaviors or treatment. And honestly, big changes like that can just be downright scary.

We have the power to determine what kind of treatment we accept in our relationships. The truth is that what we allow to happen in our relationships, will continue to happen. The real question is, if we have outgrown our current circus, why do we keep going back to it?

There can be many reasons why and I certainly don’t judge anyone for staying in a relationship they have outgrown. Many times, there are children involved or financial issues. And it isn’t an easy decision to make at all. There have been many circuses I have outgrown in my life, but I kept showing up, front and center – until it became completely unbearable. Unbearable as in, it is less scary to leave, be alone or worry about finances than to stay in this mess.

But here’s the thing, we aren’t meant to live “root bound”. Root bound is when plants outgrow their container and their roots grow in circles around the container, because it has nowhere else to go. The roots start to look like a woven fabric around the edges of the soil. The plant also stops growing because it needs more space to flourish. When this happens, we don’t just leave the plant in the pot and expect it to grow. We move it to a large pot so it can realize its full potential. I wrote a post about this here.

We are meant to grow and evolve. We are meant to realize our full potential. Because when we chase all the wrong things, we don’t give the right things a chance to catch us.

Take an honest look at our relationships and work environments. Are there places you have outgrown? If so, do you want to make a change? If you do, what can you start doing today to get yourself to a better place?

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