It sounds so simple doesn’t it? Yet it is so difficult to not replay our past or observe other people. When it comes to our past, there is a difference between looking back at fond memories and appreciating them and actually living in the past.
We see living in the past show up most in our relationships with others. Sometimes the past was so good we don’t want to leave that place. It’s familiar and it’s comfort for us. But sometimes staying there and seeing what once was is a way to avoid how things may be in the present.
What happens when we live in a past filled with regret, shame and pain? We tend to stay there, ruminating and re-thinking things. And because it has already happened, there is literally nothing we can do to change things. Naturally, because this is where our heads are, we tend to start behaving in our present coming from a place of regret, shame and pain. And it can become a vicious cycle and last for a long time.
By staying in the past, we avoid living in the present and ultimately being responsible for ourselves and what we do today. Today is all we have. Yesterday has happened and tomorrow is yet to come. Honestly ask yourself if living in the past has become a coping mechanism for avoiding responsibility in the present.
When it comes to observing others, social media has made not getting caught up in the observation of others near impossible. I often refer to social media as someone’s highlight reel. What you see is curated and manufactured content that doesn’t tell the whole story. Often times it doesn’t even tell the real story. But we spend so much time looking at snapshots of others, with very limited context and we torture ourselves by comparing our lives to theirs.
The only person you should ever compare yourself to is who you were yesterday. Only YOU can be you. You were born to stand out and be different. Nothing can compare to you.
