Beauty is defined by people in so many different ways. However, the way I like to look at this is a little different.
As humans, we tend to categorize things in our minds automatically, and often on a superficial level. For today, let’s not ascribe beauty to people or objects. Let’s say “everything” in that quote refers to challenges and circumstances that we face in life.
Not too long ago I had a job at a tech company. I felt immense pressure to find a good job with health benefits because my husband had recently been laid off. I had been so excited to get this job and thought that it would be a perfect fit for me. However, I quickly realized that my boss was downright inappropriate and abusive. Almost every day, she would scream and degrade someone on my team in front of everyone. I think in a sadistic way, she liked humiliating people and making them feel like they weren’t good enough for the role that she, ironically, had hired them for. If I made a mistake, she was quick to point it out to anyone and everyone and then make me fix it by calling a client in front of everyone, as she stood there, sneering and telling me exactly what to say. As an introvert, this was not easy for me at all.
By all accounts, my situation sucked. I was more stressed than I had ever been at a job. I wanted to push back and tell her she couldn’t treat me or my co-workers the way she was treating us. But we were all scared of her and of losing our jobs. I had never cried on my way home from work from a job, but this became a part of my nightly routine. After six weeks, I just couldn’t deal with her management style and I quit. I had no savings, or another job lined up. But I knew that if I had stayed there, my mental health would continue to deteriorate.
Leading up to my departure, I saw beauty everywhere at this company. I learned so much there – how to stand up for myself, how to be assertive, how to push back and how to trust my gut when I felt like it was time to leave. I went for my daily walks during my breaks anyway, even though my boss had voiced concern about me not being at my desk during a “break”. I kept my positive and upbeat attitude when working with colleagues and clients. I knew that my time there was limited and that when I felt ready to pull the plug, that was what I was going to do.
I am so grateful for this experience because it fundamentally changed how I approach vetting a company and boss I may want to work for. It showed me that following my gut is always right. In my mind, there was no doubt that I would find something that was a better fit for me. I wish I could bottle the confidence I felt in those moments.
Sure enough, in less than two weeks I was hired at a company in a role that was truly my dream job. The two bosses that I ended up working for saw my talent and value from day one.
When you feel like giving up, or that what you are going through feels like there is no end in sight, remember that even in our darkest times, there is beauty. There is something for us to learn. And always remember that the night is always darkest just before the dawn. And your dawn is coming.
