We determine our own set of core values and morals. Having integrity means that we behave consistently with those morals and values – especially when no one is looking. Deviating from your own code can have some serious costs.
When we find ourselves going the extra mile for people who wouldn’t do the same for us consistently, we have lost sight of our value. I’ve seen this play out through the years not only in my own relationships, but in many others, too.
Sometimes in our relationships, we can have a hard time recognizing mistreatment because it can be subtle. How many times have you looked back on a relationship and seen the red flags clearly, yet when it was actually happening you didn’t see it? It can be easy for us to confuse intensity with intimacy.
If your heart is telling you to follow your dreams or take a chance at something, listen to it. No matter what your chances are. In the show, The Amazing Race, even when it seems like your team is going to be last, you keep racing. Because you never really know where you are in the race because other teams have setbacks, too. Giving up because you don’t think you have good odds of making it to the next leg, can cost you the whole race.
Have you ever noticed that when you begin to believe something, you start to see evidence of that belief more in your daily life? Our brains process millions of bits of data every day. To keep our brain from becoming overwhelmed and overloaded, we have a filter located in our reticular activating system (RAS). Think of this filter as place where information comes into the brain, and then is neatly filed into different boxes, so we can actually make sense of it all.
We all know that hardships and failures are our best teachers. We grow stronger by facing and overcoming them. The natural human response to pain is to run away from it. But some things we can’t hide from, and we inevitably have to deal with them, and it can feel unbearable. At some point we will all endure heartache and pain that will threaten to destroy us, but we will overcome these moments of darkness and desperation. And that experience of getting through it will make us stronger.
When you truly begin to believe in what you bring to the table in any relationship, you will tolerate less of the bullshit. When you know your worth and what you deserve, you will find it harder to stay around those who don’t. And when you close the door to what was before, you put yourself out there to attract what you deserve and all these new, amazing doors will open for you.
Today’s quote is, “Stop saving things for special occasions. Being alive is a special occasion.” Almost three years ago next month, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at a relatively young age. I found out through a mammogram, which had led to an ultrasound and biopsy. I had zero symptoms.
