To achieve something great, you have to be willing to sacrifice things that you want in the present moment. You have to be able to delay gratification and put in the hard work now in order to achieve your long-term goals. This is not an easy thing to do, but it is necessary if you want to be successful.

Why Is Delaying Gratification So Hard?

Delaying gratification is hard because it goes against our natural instincts. We are programmed to seek out immediate pleasure and avoid pain. This is known as the “pleasure principle.” When we see something that we want, our brain releases a chemical called dopamine which gives us a feeling of pleasure. This reinforces the idea that we should seek out things that give us immediate pleasure.

However, in order to achieve our long-term goals, we often have to do things that are not immediately pleasurable. We have to study for exams instead of watching TV. We have to save money instead of spending it. And we have to eat healthy food instead of junk food. These things may not be pleasurable at the moment, but they are necessary if we want to achieve our goals.

The ability to delay gratification is a critical life skill. It allows us to set aside our immediate desires to achieve something greater. If you can learn to delay gratification, you will be more likely to achieve your long-term goals.

Giving Up on Dreams

So many people give up on their dreams because they are not willing to put in the hard work required to make them a reality. They would rather stay in their comfort zone and settle for mediocrity. But if you are willing to discipline yourself and make sacrifices, you can achieve anything you want in life.

Just remember that it takes time and effort to make your dreams come true. Don’t give up, and eventually, you will reach your goals.

How To Stick with It

The key to sticking with your goals is to have a strong why. Why are you doing this? What is your motivation? If your why is strong enough, it will be easier for you to overcome the urge to give up.

It’s also important to remind yourself of your long-term goal. When you feel like giving up, think about why you started in the first place. What are you trying to achieve? This will help you stay focused and motivated.

Finally, it’s important to have a support system. Tell your friends and family about your goals. This will help to hold you accountable and keep you on track.

If you can stick with it, you will achieve anything you set your mind to. Just remember that discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.

Friends are the family you get to choose. Good friendships make life meaningful, joyous, and fun. They become the people we live life with and begin to rely on. But good friends aren’t only important for making good times even better. Rather, true friends also play a pivotal role during hard times. In fact, it is when you find yourself in a challenging time, that you can identify who truly is a real friend, and who is there just for the fun.

What is a True Friend and What is a Fake Friend?

Sometimes it can be hard to discern who is a true friend. For the most part, a true friend:

Sticks With You Through Thick and Thin

A true friend is always there for you, no matter what. When you get dumped, a true friend will bring you a pint of your favorite of ice cream and watch a movie with you. If you need to vent about your family or work, a true friend will be there for you and listen. When it feels like the world is against you, they will support you and remind you that you are loved and cared for.

Wants What’s Best for You

A true friend will tell you when your dress does not flatter you. They aren’t afraid to speak up and will warn you about a potential relationship mistake. A true friend will motivate you to go to the gym even when you don’t feel like it. They know your goals and will always try to support you in achieving them, even when you don’t feel like it.

Genuinely Celebrates You

There are many people who pretend to be your friend but when you tell them about something good that happens to you, they judge you, undermine it, or they are jealous. A true friend, however, genuinely wants to see you succeed. They are part of your support system through your hard times, and also your biggest cheerleaders.

Accepts You for Who You Are

True friends are people who know you’re crazy and love it anyway. You can jam out to your favorite Taylor Swift song in your embarrassing Hello Kitty pajamas, and your friend will love you for it. A true friend doesn’t judge.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

Sometimes it hurts to examine our friends and realize that they aren’t good for us. But doing so is beneficial for our overall growth and mental health, so choose your friends wisely!

Remember, you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, so be careful about the relationships you give time to.

Fake friends are available in abundance. They come seeking something from the friendships. They might flatter you, have fun with you, and be there for you in your good times. But a true friend is someone who is there through the challenges and the struggles. They are there because they truly care about you, and they will not be afraid of telling you what you need to hear. A true friend is an invaluable and a gift in this life.

How many people do you think you interact with in a year? If you just interact with one new person each day, it adds up to 365 new people every year. Over the course of your life, you’ll end up interacting with thousands of people. A handful might stay as close friends and others might become faint memories. But as you go through life, one of the most important skills is to be able to discern who is your friend and who is not.

Have you ever had someone close to you, who you completely trusted betray you? Or maybe you got to know a new work colleague and helped them find their footing, only to have them take the promotion you had been working for. Maybe you befriended the new girl in town, who started spreading rumors about you.

These situations sound terrible, but they aren’t uncommon. What hurts the most, though, is when the person who betrayed you was someone you trusted. Sometimes we get close to people, but they just want something from us.

Be Careful Who You Trust

Not everyone is trustworthy. If you meet someone new, you don’t know what their intentions are. In fact, this can even be the case with someone you have known for years. Sometimes people change or just aren’t the same as what you thought them to be. So, it is important to identify who you can trust with certainty.

Trusting the right people is not just about your physical safety, but your emotional and mental one, too.

Sometimes when you get close to someone, you feel comfortable enough to share your sorrows and the weight of your burdens. You might share some deep personal truths or your vulnerabilities. But when this person shares this intimate information with someone else, it can feel devastating.

Don’t Show Your Weakness

Like this quote says, it is better to have a thousand enemies that are outside your house than a single one who is inside it. The enemy is inside it knows you well and your vulnerabilities and weaknesses. For the enemies on the outside, they don’t have as much to weaponize against you because they simply aren’t close enough to you.

Quality Over Quantity

The number of your friendships does not matter. Rather, it’s the quality of that friendship that counts. If you have one trustworthy friend who has your back no matter what, you are richer than most people. So be okay with not having a bunch of friends. Be okay not being popular or having multiple invitations on a weekend. I know I would rather have one friend who I could trust with my life, than ten who I don’t trust as much.

Live with Your Heart

As you build relationships and friends, the key is to live with your heart. Follow your intuition and be compassionate with yourself. Sometimes, maybe your heart tells you to take a risk and trust. If you do accidentally befriend an ‘enemy’, don’t judge yourself or criticize yourself for not being smart enough or not seeing it before. Don’t blame yourself. Learn your lesson and focus on strengthening the real friendships you do have.

Have you ever had a day where you planned to rest, stay home, and do nothing? We all get exhausted with our daily lives and we often crave that one day when we will do absolutely nothing. Finally, that day comes around, and we sleep in, scroll on our phones, and stay in bed. But by 8 pm, rather than feeling rested and energized, we feel exhausted!

If you have had those days where you feel more tired from doing nothing, know that you’re not alone. Here’s why.

Low Mental Energy

Not doing anything takes a toll on our mental health. We are wired for growth and stimulation. So, when we have nothing to do or we feel purposeless, we can feel defeated and lethargic. This can even spiral into depression.

Low Physical Energy

When we don’t do anything, we sometimes feel more anxiety and stress. Because of these low feelings, our bodies produce more cortisol, the stress hormone. The stress hormone also results in physical feelings of exhaustion.

In addition, when we aren’t physically moving and our body remains in the same position for long periods of time, its ability to take in oxygen decreases. This also results in a drop in energy levels and motivation.

How Can You Combat Low Energy?

Our bodies need purpose, movement, and stimulation to thrive. Think of when you are faced with a challenge or a deadline; suddenly your body can stay up late to finish up your work or solve the problem. You feel energized and motivated.

Stimulate Your Mind

In order to have a fulfilling life and combat mental lethargy, it’s important to find a purpose. Set a goal for yourself. If you have free time, use it to stimulate your mind. Learn something new. Give yourself challenges. Have fun with life by constantly learning and growing. Make sure you are emotionally, intellectually, and socially challenged every day.

Stimulate Your Body

To have more energy, you have to move your body. Make it a habit to incorporate some sort of physical activity in your daily life, whether it’s a short walk, a solo dance party at home, morning yoga, or a pilates class. It doesn’t matter how you exercise; the important thing is that you get some movement.

Sleep

Of course, everything comes in balance. While stimulating your mind and body, you also have to give yourself rest. The best way to do this is to ensure you are getting 7-8 hours of good quality sleep every night. I wrote a post about my bedtime routine for great sleep that you can check out here. When you challenge your body and mind on a daily basis, you will find that it is easier to get a good night’s rest. Use that to your advantage, and soon your body will feel both rested and energized.

Every day, strive to balance both mental and physical stimulation to keep lethargy away. If you’re at home with nothing to do, learn something new, go for a walk, or talk to a friend. Balance work, play, and sleep, and you’ll stay motivated and energized.

Every now and again I lurk around subreddits for relationship advice, just out of curiosity. What’s fascinating to me is a common theme I see where people in these relationships put up with some seriously horrible behavior. Provided that their side of the story is accurate, some people are dealing with some serious boundary violations and shitty treatment. And when the author includes information about red flags they have seen along the way, they don’t seem to have honestly examined them and seen them for what they are before things escalated.

I know hindsight is 20/20 and it is easy for an internet stranger with no attachment to the situation to see things that is harder for the author to see. And I’m sure getting responses on Reddit helps them see things from a different perspective.

But what is worse about many of these scenarios is that often times the author is legitimately confused or has been gaslit so many times, that they truly question whether their partner is really behaving that bad. And I’m not passing judgment here. I have been someone who has missed (let’s be honest – probably ignored) some serious red flags, been gaslit and questioned whether I was overreacting or being “too much”.

The truth is, someone who loves you and values your relationship, wouldn’t even put themselves in a position to potentially lose you in the first place. They know that certain things are not okay in a committed relationship. And if they do them anyway, they are telling you all you need to know.

In one example on Reddit, a man’s wife was texting and calling a man that she worked with who was also married. They talked on the phone on their days off and texted often. The husband had noticed that she was on her phone a lot more than usual and would tilt the screen away when they were together so he couldn’t see it. He also noticed some other strange behaviors with her phone, but he trusted her and didn’t think much of it.

The wife and her co-worker had moved beyond just being good work friends, though. They both talked about the problems they had in their marriages. Things had turned sexual between them and one day his wife accidentally left her phone on the couch when she left the room. When her phone buzzed, the husband looked down to where she had left her phone and lo and behold, he discovered a completely inappropriate text message from her co-worker on the screen. Devastated, he opened her phone and looked at the previous messages and discovered that she had been carrying on this “relationship” with her co-worker for months.

After confronting her, she said she would put an end to the relationship and look for another job. She told her husband he could check her phone. But she kept texting and calling this guy anyway and just deleted her history. The husband found out and was, once again, devastated.

What was her reason for continuously betraying her husband’s trust? According to the author, his wife told him that she just liked the attention and wasn’t planning on leaving her marriage. But nonetheless, the damage was already done.

If you tell someone that they are hurting you, and they continue to do so, knowing it hurts you, you have to stop asking them why they keep doing it. Instead, you have to ask yourself why you keep choosing to stay in a relationship or situation where you are not valued.

Life is truly too short to spend time on people who don’t respect you, love you or do the work that is necessary to nurture a relationship. You deserve to have the kind of love that you give to others and someone who shows you day in and day out that they truly want to be with you.

Remember when you were a child and the world seemed like a magical place? The toy shop was like a playground, school was fun and you were completely carefree.

Most parents try to protect their children from the struggles and challenges of life. They avoid the disturbing truths present in society and try to shield their children from what might be uncomfortable. However, doing this doesn’t make the world any different. At the end of the day, we all have to grow up and face the realities of the world, no matter how much we want to avoid them, or want to protect our loved ones from them.

But is ignorance really bliss?

Often time it feels nice not to have to know truths that are uncomfortable. Whether it is the truth about ourselves or our relationships, coming to terms with what really is can be scary. But the truth is, facts are stubborn things. They don’t just go away because we don’t want to face them.

One of the foundational pillars of mindful living and mental peace is acceptance. Contrary to popular belief, acceptance does not mean being okay with everything or being apathetic to reality. Rather, it just means acknowledging reality and coming to terms with the truths around you. And it is in our acceptance of what is, rather than what we wish things would be is where our power lies.

For example, if you are in a marriage that is struggling, acceptance would be acknowledging the truth: that there is a problem. Once you accept the truth, you can decide what the next best step would be. What do you need to change in your marriage? What can you do differently? Why has this happened?

A big part of acceptance also means acknowledging your emotions. For example, maybe something someone said about your art hurt your feelings, but you don’t want to accept that you are vulnerable or feeling uncertain about your work. So, you pretend you are okay. While you might consciously ignore your emotions, they will affect you on a subconscious level. And the stronger they become, the harder it will be to push through that uncertainty, build resiliency and continue creating art.

Have you ever wished you didn’t know something? Sometimes it can be convenient not to have to face the realities that we don’t like. However, we can’t ignore facts. Rather than trying to pretend, face the difficult truths and find the lesson you need to learn. It’s better to face it and get stronger than ignore it and let it all come crashing down upon you one day.

We live in a world full of diversity. Everyone is unique in some way or the other. There are young people, old people, the rich, the poor, entrepreneurs, students, employees, the married, the singles, and everyone in between. We have more than 7 billion people on the planet, and every single human being is different in their own way. Yet, there is one common thread: we all crave happiness. Every action we take can be linked to a desire to feel good. Ironically, although everyone wants happiness, it is still one of the most elusive concepts.

What Happiness is Not

Some common goals that people link with happiness are having more money, social status, or popularity. But if we look closely at some celebrities, we can see that all of those things don’t really create happiness.

So, if those things don’t lead to happiness, then how do we find it?

Enjoy the Moment

One of the most important aspects of happiness is being present in the moment. The truth is, all we really have is now. Let go of the past, whether it’s something you regret or a nostalgic moment that you can’t move on from. Stop planning and overthinking about the future. Come back to the here, the now. Where are you right now? What’s around you? Notice the beauty in the moment.

Reframe Negative Thoughts

We have thousands of thoughts running through our mind every day. And not every thought will be positive. However, we can try to reframe our negative thoughts. For example, if you text a friend and she doesn’t respond immediately, rather than indulging in the negative thought that she is avoiding you, try to rewrite the thought into something more positive. Consider the other possibilities that might be true. For example, is it possible that she is busy? Is it possible that she is going to call you rather than text you?

Gratitude

Numerous studies have shown that people who have a consistent gratitude practice tend to have more positive emotions, increased subjective happiness, and improved life satisfaction. Writing down a few things you are grateful for is a quick and easy way to boost your mood and be a happier person.

Listen to Your Body

Taking care of and listening to your body is key to being happy. Exercise often. Pamper your body. Eat nourishing foods. When your body is tired, listen to it and rest. When it is hungry, feed it.

Love Freely

Love is one of those other fuzzy, vague words like happiness that people struggle to describe, but is undeniably one of the building blocks of humanity. Love is key to happiness. Love freely. Love openly. Don’t judge or discriminate. The more you love, the happier you will be. Expect nothing and appreciate everything.

Find a Purpose

Research has found that people who feel like they have a purpose feel more fulfilled and feel happier overall. Creating goals for yourself gives you meaning and direction. It helps you have a reason to wake up in the morning. If you aren’t sure what your purpose is, don’t be harsh on yourself. Your ‘purpose’ can change. For right now, brainstorm a few things you’d like to experience in your life or achieve. Think about what you are good at or the people you want to help. Set a goal and start working towards it, and if you find that you are not aligned with it anymore, feel free to adjust and pivot.

While happiness is an elusive term, it can be more attainable than you think. With daily habits to take care of your body and mind, and the intention to see the world in a more positive way, you can cultivate a sense of happiness with grace, gratitude, and love.

Do you ever find yourself wishing you were more talkative, outgoing, or confident? Or maybe you think you are too loud and wish you could be more chill as a person. Perhaps you wish you were more logical and analytical, or maybe you wish you were more creative.

These thoughts plague everyone. We wish we were morelike the other person next to us. We agonize, overthink, and even try to change ourselves. Over time, we might even succeed! So, we become a bit more artsy. But then, we see someone who might be better at science or math. We begin to strive to pursue our logical side. As a result? We don’t end up getting anywhere and lose ourselves.

So, what’s a better way to be less distracted by other people’s qualities and more focused on enhancing our own?

1.) Recognize your own strengths. Consider who you are at the core. Who are you? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? At this point, try to release any labels or preconceived notions that you might be holding onto, such as “being extroverted is good” or “being good at art is admirable”. Just focus on what you are good at, and what you enjoy doing.

2.) Identify your own purpose.  Once you know what you are good at, you can start to get clear about your purpose. When you are focused on the path you are on and the direction you are headed towards, you are a lot less distracted by other people’s paths. This is why it’s important to identify your purpose and start to work towards it.

Think about where you are in your life right now. Are you content? Where do you spend most of your time? Are you working towards something or just going with the flow? Is there something you have been wanting to do or work on, but you just haven’t gotten around to it yet?

Spend some time thinking about these questions to find out your purpose. Set a goal or an intention for yourself. Remember, your purpose doesn’t have to be related to a job or a specific project. It doesn’t have to be achieving something; it could even just be about “being”. For example, maybe you want to be more present with your friends. Or maybe you want to be more disciplined in your daily routine.

3.) Stop comparing yourself. Once you have identified your purpose, it is time to commit to it and fill up your life with your intention. Rather than scrolling on social media and comparing yourself to someone else, spend that time living your life mindfully, getting closer to your goal with every action.

If you have been feeling distracted or unmotivated lately, it’s time to take a look at an area of your life that you want to improve.

What results do you want to see in your life? What experiences do you want to have?

Commit to taking the necessary actions that will bring those into your reality. Focus on your life and what you want out of it. While working towards your own goals takes effort and work, you will notice that you won’t have as much time nor energy to compare yourself to others. Instead, you’ll be so caught up in creating the life you want, that it won’t even matter anymore.