Have you ever felt like you are going through the same situation in your life repeatedly? Maybe you end up in a string of similar relationships that are bad for you? Or maybe you are stuck in a loop of being healthy and then spiraling out of control?

We often end up re-living certain challenges repeatedly. Whether it is because we subconsciously manifest it, it is part of our destiny, or because the universe wants to teach us a lesson, sometimes it feels like certain situations just don’t leave us.

In those times, it can be helpful to remember that every experience we have has a purpose, a lesson, something to teach us. Every moment, good or bad, brings us something. And until we learn from it, it will continue to recycle our experiences.  

What To Remember During Life’s Challenges

Life Is a Teacher

Life is meant to be a learning experience. We all come to life brand new, experiencing life for the first time – at least in our current bodies. No one has done life and returned to do it again. As long as you live, you will keep learning from experiences, people, mistakes, events, and celebrations. So, take each experience, good or bad, as an opportunity to learn.

Every Challenge Has a Lesson

No matter what bad thing happens, it can always teach us something. So take every struggle or obstacle as a blessing or a valuable lesson. It’s an opportunity to grow, in strength and wisdom.

Face the Situation and Lean Into the lesson

Remind yourself that you are here to grow, to learn, and to expand, which means that you need to work through things as they come up. If there is a problem, rather than running away from it, drinking it or sleeping it away, face it head on to see what you can learn from it. When you face a challenge, remember that it has a message for you when you take a deeper look into what it is trying to teach you.

For example, say you don’t have a good relationship with your parents. So, you avoid holidays and family-gatherings. You stay busy in your work, your routines, and your social life. While that is one way to avoid the situation, it will keep repeating itself until you face the challenge head-on.

Instead, when you face the situation and take uncomfortable action to speak with your parents and fix your relationship, you might learn a lesson on forgiveness, acceptance, or empathy.

Nothing Leaves Until We Do Something About It

Sometimes we just need to get up and do something about a situation. It won’t leave unless we take action. In fact, it may even get more difficult with time.

For example, say you are trying to lose weight. You can keep watching Youtube videos about the best diets to follow and you can make a comprehensive workout plan. But unless you get up and change your diet and exercise habits, nothing will change. You need to take action – even if it is just baby steps at first.

Remember, the reason why we often stumble upon certain challenging situations is so we can learn how to overcome them and learn something from it. When you find yourself encountering difficulties, rise to the challenge. Tackle them head on and use them as a learning opportunity. Don’t be afraid of the challenges and lessons, as they are part of our journeys. Be brave and know that all the things that come your way are meant to challenge and strengthen you.

When it comes to the accumulation of things, it’s often true that we want the feelings that are associated with the thing more than the thing itself. In our quest to feel happy or confident, we will buy things we think will make us feel that way. And they might in the beginning, but those feelings are temporary at best.

There’s nothing wrong with buying things you need or even want. But when you find yourself buying things because you are convinced it will make you feel more confident or happy, it’s time to re-evaluate your strategy. Or, if you find yourself doing it to impress other people. The wisdom of Tyler Durden rings true: “We buy things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t like.”

I can’t tell you how much money I have spent over the years on beauty products that I really thought would make me feel more confident. In the immediate, maybe I did feel a little more confident, but it quickly faded away. My makeup looked great, but I didn’t feel so great on the inside.

Understanding your true motivations will help you determine what you are really looking for when you consider purchases. Maybe you really need the item or just want it because you’ve been dying to get that Millennium Falcon Lego set (with the lighting kit, thank you very much!) for quite some time now. And that’s totally fine. But if you are looking to fulfill your emotional needs through these things, again, it’s time to consider what you are really wanting to feel.    

Case in point. When I was in high school, one of my best guy friends was dating this older girl. She didn’t like me in the least. I tried to befriend her, because I thought it was the right thing to do, considering he was my friend.

She wasn’t a happy person at all, though. She cared a lot about image, as in only wearing designer clothes, and she seemed to look down on other people who didn’t wear the same kind of clothes. I didn’t get his attraction to her because she wasn’t very nice and there was always some kind of drama going on.

One day my friend called me and asked me if I wanted to go to a wedding with him. I laughed and asked about his girlfriend. I think by then he was getting sick of her personality. He sighed and said, “I just think I would have a better time with you.” He went on to say that I didn’t care about status and expensive things like she did, and he would have a better time with me. Since he was still dating her, I politely said no because I didn’t want to get involved in drama. But this quote makes me think of her. And I wonder what kind of feeling she was looking to feel from all those things. She certainly wasn’t happy, and she seemed to feel threatened by my friendship with him…so who knows.   

But let’s take a look at five reasons why we can’t buy feelings:

1. Feelings are temporary. Yes, you might feel excitement and happiness the moment you can call something yours. But that feeling will quickly vanish. Once the excitement wears off, it will feel like just another item. If you want the feelings, you’re better off harnessing them within or connecting with others than invoking them through items.

2. You will never be satisfied. Once you buy something and get excitement from it, and then that feeling wears off, you’ll look for it again. It’s a cycle that makes you a hamster on a wheel. You’ll never be satisfied because you’ll always want the next best thing. And in our current culture, there is always something bigger and better to buy.

3. Happiness is about doing. Happiness isn’t about buying. It’s about doing. It comes from doing the things that you love. It comes from passion, adventure, and the journey. When you pursue your passions, that is how long-lasting happiness thrives.

4. Money can’t buy friendship. At least not genuine friendship. And friendship is the true bread and butter of life. A good friendship and happy family are something you have to work for. Although relationships are not the only source of happiness in life, they are undoubtedly correlated.

5. Buying something does not provide a purpose. Most people desire to find a purpose for their lives. They want to do something that has meaning. Money and buying things can give you security, freedom, and a path to reach some of your goals, but it does not provide you with purpose.

Problems and challenges can often provide powerful motivation for change. But often when you are trying to correct a problem in your life, your thought process is confined to the conditions of the existing problem. Your field of vision is narrowly focused on the current limitations, rather than being open to bigger and better possibilities.

On the other hand, when you allow yourself to be led by the inspiration of your dreams, you are open and receptive to many more possibilities that reach far beyond the current challenge you are trying to resolve. You are able to see the big picture and even glimpses of the possible future that your creative ideas could produce.

One good way to harness the power of inspiration and use it in your daily life is by keeping an idea journal. Use any blank journal or notebook, or even a document on your computer, and spend time each day jotting down all of your ideas and dreams. These can be the things that you would like to do or experience in your life, either now or in the future.

These can be very simple ideas, such as small improvements that you would like to make in your life. They could also be fun experiences you would like to have, and those bigger, thrilling, life-changing dreams that have been lurking in your heart for years. You can even write down some positive expectations for the upcoming day, such as, “I will receive abundance in unexpected ways today,” or “I will receive a great opportunity today.”

Write your ideas out in full detail and allow yourself to feel excited about them. Don’t try to figure out how to make them happen, because that will only lead to confusion and frustration. Instead, focus on generating strong, positive energy and channeling it toward the most exciting, fun, gratifying, uplifting ideas that you can imagine.

Then set your journal aside and continue with your normal routine. You don’t have to make anything happen just yet. Simply enjoy the pleasant feelings connected to your ideas. As you continue to do this daily, you will probably start to notice that you are receiving more and more inspiring ideas as you go about your normal activities. Your vision will continue to expand. You start seeing the world in a whole new way, and those changes that you want to make in your life suddenly start seeming more possible.

Most surprisingly, spontaneous solutions to those pesky problems will start showing up just when you need them. The right people will cross your path with perfect timing, ideas will continue to flood into your mind, and new opportunities will appear no matter where you go.

As magical as these changes might seem, they are not caused by magic. When you remove your attention from problems, challenges, limitations, and the things that are not the way you want them to be, you begin to weaken their presence in your life. When you then start opening your mind to better ideas, expanding your vision for what is possible, and tapping into your natural source of inspiration, you generate powerful creative energy that leads you straight to the fulfillment of your dreams.

Do you ever feel as if there is a vast well of untapped potential within you, but you just aren’t sure how to unleash it, or even if you should? You might feel a sense of fear or trepidation about unleashing that potential, just because you’re not sure where it might lead.

You might be besieged with questions like, “What if I fail? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I regret it later? What if other people ridicule me or reject me?” With so much uncertainty in the mix, it feels safer to just play small, to stay where you are and avoid the unknown risks.

The problem with playing small is that it brings along its own kind of pain. Feelings of boredom, disinterest, frustration, and the unsettling fear that life is passing you by, and you’re going to miss out if you don’t do something about it. And the feelings only intensify when you are unclear about what exactly you can do to make things better.

A simple technique that can restore a sense of calm within you is to bring your attention and energy back down into your body. Overthinking often leaves you feeling unsettled and confused, while grounding yourself in the present moment can quickly usher in a sense of clarity and purpose.

To bring your energy back down into your body, sit quietly, take a deep breath in, and on the exhale imagine your body settling more firmly down onto the chair or sofa, wherever you are sitting at the moment. Focus on the solid weight of your body here in the present moment. Feel yourself being grounded firmly and comfortably in physical reality.

You can also use your hands to apply gentle pressure on your legs or clasp your hands together and squeeze gently. This keeps your attention on your physical body, rather than lost in thought. Keep breathing and bringing your attention down out of your head and back into your body, and before long you will feel much more grounded, calm, and present.

Next, imagine your energy field opening and expanding. Keep breathing slowly and deeply, and with every exhale, imagine that your energy field grows larger, like a big sphere of energy surrounding you. Within a few minutes, you should notice that you are starting to feel more clarity and confidence about your potential. You might remember a forgotten skill or talent that you always wanted to develop, or you might receive an idea about a new path that fills you with joy to consider it.

As you continue to expand your perception, imagine that your inner light is starting to glow brighter. Imagine that your brilliant inner self is awakening from a long slumber and reclaiming the enthusiasm to shine. This is the part of you that has always known that you have something valuable to share with the world and can help you to remember and fulfill that purpose. Imagine all of your fears and worries melting away in the bright light of your spirit.

Repeat this exercise daily, and before long you will feel so much enthusiasm and excitement that blossoming no longer seems like such a scary idea.

Why is growth important? As living beings, we are always growing physically. With each second, our cells grow older and divide to create new ones. As a matter of fact, the human body makes over 3.8 million new cells every second – mostly in our blood and gut.

But, when it comes to true mental and emotional growth, it requires more intention and challenge. We must be pushed and pulled to new areas within us that we may never have thought of before. And that stems from being forced to step out of our comfort zones and into the unknown.

Without challenges, struggles, or obstacles, we can get quite comfortable wherever we are placed. This can result in no growth, and without growth, life can become dull, stagnant, and meaningless. This is why it’s important to ensure that you prioritize and embrace opportunities for growth, even if that means it comes with a challenge.

The Importance of Growth

As human beings, if we are not growing, are we truly living? We may be breathing, but without mental growth, we stay stagnant. On the other hand, growth brings us opportunities, inspiration, knowledge, wisdom, and experience. We get to learn more about ourselves, others, and life in general when we grow.

If we don’t grow, then we just stay stuck in one place. It’s not only boring, but it’s kind of meaningless. What’s the point of being in this amazing place called earth if we choose to stay stuck in our little bubble?

Being open to growth means being open to learning, changing, improving, and being curious. It means being open to both the amazing things life has to show us, and also the challenges it might throw our way. To truly live means to grow, otherwise we are merely existing.

Growth Requires Commitment and Discipline

Growth is not easy. Intentionally trying to grow requires commitment and discipline because our bodies don’t like stepping out of their comfort zones. We like to stay around what is familiar and comfortable.

Thus, if you want to grow, you have to develop a disciplined mindset and commit to your goal.

For example, going to the gym every day is a form of growth. Not only do you grow physically, but you also grow mentally. Every time you hear your alarm clock ring and you are tempted to stay in bed, but you get up and change into your workout clothes, you grow stronger.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Most of us live in our comfort zones. We play it safe, choosing low-risk lifestyles, and living like most people around us. Outside our comfort zones, lies fear. However, it also happens to be where all the magic of life happens.

In order to grow, we must step out of what is comfortable. Growth can be quite scary because it can often require you to challenge old limiting beliefs that you have held onto your entire life. It could mean leaving something that is safe, easy, or comfortable, like leaving a toxic relationship or an unrewarding job. 

So, if you want to grow, face your fears. Do something different than your daily routine. Step away from what is comfortable, is easy, or feels safe. Do something that scares you.

Remember, growth is not easy, but it is so worth it! We have to give up the security that we know to experience greater things. So embrace the mess and the discomfort, and choose to grow because that’s what leads to a truly fulfilling life.

How often do you self-reflect? Self-reflection, though a critical aspect of personal growth, is often overlooked or forgotten about in our daily lives. Yet, when you take some time to reflect on your day, the highs and lows, the challenges you’ve faced, your emotions, and your thoughts, you tap into a great power of using life’s experiences to learn and grow.

Why should we self-reflect and why is self-reflection scary?

It Builds Self-Awareness

We can’t change ourselves unless we know what our patterns are. We can’t grow unless we know what we can do better. Spending time in self-reflection helps us get in tune with ourselves. When we know ourselves, we can help ourselves. This can take a lot of bravery because it also means we have to face our weaknesses, our triggers, and our demons. When we self-reflect, we see where we are wrong, even if that is uncomfortable. However, that also means that we can change or correct ourselves.

For example, if we know what triggers us and makes us angry, we can see it coming the next time and remove ourselves from the situation.

It Enables Us to Recognize Change and Track Progress

What’s the point of changing if we don’t know how well we are doing? By self-reflecting, we can see how much progress we are making and if we need to change our strategy or not. It takes courage to honestly see whether or not you are making the progress you hoped.

It Helps Us Take Responsibility

When we self-reflect, we realize that we are responsible for everything in our lives.

Have you ever thought about how you got to where you are now? Or what about where you could have been if you had made certain decisions differently? These questions can be tough to ask yourself, and that is why self-reflection takes courage.

However, when you do consider these questions, you free yourself from being limited to the current path. When you take responsibility for your life right now, you also take back your power to change your life.

It Helps Us Live More Intentionally

When you spend time self-reflecting, you will have a much better understanding of where you are right now, how you got here, your current thoughts and emotions, and if you are happy or not. You will also have greater clarity about what you want to change. And that is ultimately the golden key: because of self-reflection, you can now live more intentionally going further. You can make choices differently, you can step out of autopilot, and you can be more intentional about where you want your life to take you.

How can you self-reflect?

There are many ways to spend time in self-reflection, but the easiest is to journal. Every day, write down your thoughts, challenges, struggles, and wins. See what worked and what didn’t. Identify patterns. If you do this, every struggle you face will become your strength.

In conclusion, self-reflection is an extremely powerful and helpful tool. However, it requires courage and is not for the faint-of heart. But once you spend time in self-reflection, you can be sure you will feel much more empowered, inspired, and motivated to create the life you want.

In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray plays a weatherman named Phil Connors. He travels to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania to cover Groundhog Day and ends up stuck in a time loop. He is forced to relive February 2^nd repeatedly. This leads him to proclaim, “Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today!”

Phil Connors is stuck in this loop for years. He goes through all the stages of grief, multiple times, even committing suicide on many occasions. Eventually, Phil accepts that this is his life and decides to make the most of it. He finds his purpose and becomes more of an actualized person. Then lo and behold, the time loop ends and it’s February 3^rd.  

Life has a funny way of giving us the same situations over and over again, until we learn what we need to learn. And the truth is, until you change your thinking, you will always recycle your experiences.

Embrace the lessons that come your way. Be curious about what the universe is trying to tell or teach you. Know that life is happening for you, not to you.

Think about some of the situations you have experienced. Which ones have happened multiple times? What do you think the universe is trying to teach you?

One of the hardest things for people to do is walk away from someone they love. But you have to honor self-love and self-respect above all else.

Loving yourself and putting your own happiness first is not selfish. It’s the opposite. The more you cherish yourself, the better you treat others around you. If you have an empty cup, you cannot hydrate yourself or those around you.

Learn to serve yourself so that you can better serve the world. Keeping your peace of mind is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and the people we love. The more at ease we are, the more peace we can share with the world.

If something takes away your energy or drains you mentally or emotionally, makes you doubt yourself, or serves no real purpose in your life, it may not only be not serving you but also harming you.

If you’re having difficulty walking away from a situation that is no longer serving you, whether it is a relationship, a job, or a living situation, here are three exercises to help you clarify how you feel.

Write Letters to People from the Past

Writing letters to specific people or even situations that have already happened can help you better understand your feelings. You don’t ever have to mail them. The idea is to get your true thoughts and feelings down on paper so you can fully express yourself. Maybe you need to forgive someone, thank them or simply explain yourself. Whatever it is, get those thoughts onto the paper. This will help you process your emotions to understand what you’re holding onto that is no longer serving you and move forward.

Take Inventory

Look at your life and categorize it. Write down your possessions, relationships, hobbies, habits, commitments, goals, beliefs, and values. Then imagine you need to eliminate 30% of your list. What do you need to get rid of? What do you want to keep? When doing this exercise, use your intuition and go with your gut. Don’t overthink it, just eliminate it based on your first instincts. Your final list of things to eliminate doesn’t necessarily mean you have to eliminate them. But what it does tell you is that your gut is hinting at the need to re-examine that 30% and determine whether it is really serving you.

Keep Track

Maybe letting go is not something you’re capable of doing right now – and that is totally okay. You can start with keeping track of what happens every time that person or situation makes you feel bad. If this running list continues to grow, and it’ll become incredibly apparent that it’s time to move on. Once you have a solid list, write another list that contrasts with all the good feelings and things you want out of life. Note how you can attain those feelings or how someone would need to treat you to achieve those feelings and goals. For example, on your list of things that made you feel bad if you had written, “he made me feel bad about my appearance when he told me to lose weight,” your second list could say, “He makes me feel beautiful because he loves me just the way I am.”

It is human nature to stick with the things we know. And when we choose to have the courage to let go of what is no longer serving us, we make room for new opportunities that can serve us.