Have you ever wanted to quit?

Maybe you decided to join a ballet class, but it felt too difficult. Or you had an incredible business idea, but it didn’t get the response you wanted, and didn’t make any sales.

It is so easy to quit in life, especially when you have received negative feedback. When your great idea is rejected, doesn’t it mean that it isn’t so great after all? What’s the point of trying again?

The reason not to quit is that no number of failures guarantees that your pursuit can’t be successful.

Success Could Be Right Around the Corner

You never know when you will succeed. Sometimes it just takes one more try. So why quit?

Abraham Lincoln tried twice to become a US Senator and lost both times. But the next time, he ran for president. And he won. That led him to become one of the most important men in US history, one who is remembered to have signed the famous Emancipation Proclamation.

JK Rowling’s manuscript for Harry Potter was rejected not once, twice, or even thrice. Rather, the idea was rejected twelve times. She could have easily quit. Yet, here she is, now the author of the best-selling book series of all time, having sold over 500 million books around the world. She is known and cherished across the globe, as is her series.

You never know when your idea will be accepted. You never know which try will be your final one, catapulting you to success.

Failing is Part of Success

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

When you look at successful people throughout history, they failed multiple times before they found success. And these are people who changed our world so significantly, our world wouldn’t be what it is today without their persistence. 

Think of a sport you love. If you quit the first time the other team scores, would you ever win? Of course not. There are so many games where the team that was losing badly in the first half, suddenly returns with energy, and in a surprising turn of events, wins the game.

Winning is winning, no matter how many times you fail in the process.

There is No Overnight Success

There are countless stories of overnight success. Of suddenly rising to fame. But what we don’t see is that behind the sudden success were years of struggle, hard work, and rejection.

Sure, we see the sudden growth of a YouTube channel after a video goes viral. But what about the years of posting consistently, with no audience and no one watching? I can tell you from experience with my own channel that success definitely does not happen overnight.  

We might hear a story of an actor who suddenly got picked up by a renowned director and rose to success. But what about the years of learning their craft, preparing for this moment, auditioning, and struggling?

These stories make us feel like we are doing something wrong if we don’t succeed on the first try or in a short span of time. But what we must remember, is that behind all these stories, there are countless failures, lessons, and moments of determination that we don’t see.

Failures are Lessons and Experience

When you fail, you receive something invaluable. You receive lessons and experience that you wouldn’t have learned had you succeeded on the first try.

So, the next time you fail, ask yourself:

• What can I do better?
• What can I do differently?
• What did I learn this time that showed me that the method I used didn’t work?
• What experience did I gain from this that I can apply going forward?

And with this information, you can reach even greater heights of success than you would have had you succeeded the first time.

Winning does not mean that you never lose. Rather, it means that you never quit. Success is never guaranteed, but if you quit, failure sure is.

Remember, every famous artist was once a struggling artist. Every wealthy entrepreneur was once a simple person with an idea that may have been rejected multiple times. Every great success started from somewhere. So, persevere, and don’t quit. If you are failing, you are on the road to success.  

We are stronger than we think. How do I know? Because if you a reading this right now, that means you are still here. You have already survived 100% of what has happened to you, which is pretty amazing. 

No matter what life throws our way, we have the ability to face it head-on. Even when we feel like we can’t go on, we must remember that we can overcome anything. This quote gives us strength and hope amid difficult times.

Facing Hardship

No one ever said that life was going to be easy. We all must face hardship at some point in our lives. It’s how we deal with these challenges that define us as individuals. Some people crumble under the pressure while others find a way to persevere.

The truth about hardships is that sometimes they come in waves. Life keeps knocking you down, over and over again. It can feel so overwhelming. But understand this: we are not defined by how many times we fall down. What defines us is how well we rise after falling.

How to Stay Strong

There are going to be times in your life when you feel like giving up. When these moments come, it’s important to remember that you are strong enough to face anything. Here are a few tips on how to stay strong during difficult times:

Believe in Yourself

The first step is to believe in yourself. You have to believe that you are capable of overcoming any obstacle. When you have self-doubt, it will be difficult to find the strength to keep going. But remember, you have already survived some pretty horrible things. And you will make it through this, too.

Stay Positive

It’s important to stay positive even when things are tough. Negative thinking will only make the situation seem worse than it is. Instead, focus on the good and what you’re grateful for.

Find a Support System

Another way to stay strong is to find a support system. Talk to your friends and family members about what you’re going through. They can offer words of encouragement and help you get through tough times.

Take Things One Day at a Time

When things seem overwhelming, it’s helpful to take things one day at a time. Don’t try to solve all of your problems at once. Break them down into manageable pieces and focus on tackling one thing at a time.

Seek Help When Needed

There’s no shame in admitting that you need help. It might surprise you to know just how many of us look like we have it all together, but inside we feel like we are breaking apart. If you’re struggling to cope with a difficult situation, seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with the tools you need to deal with your challenges.

Remember That You Are Strong

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by life’s challenges, it’s okay. Take a deep breath. The hardships you are facing right now is not your full story. It is just a chapter. Think about all the difficult things that have happened to you. You have already shown that you cannot be broken. You will rise above this and come out better than you were when you entered this storm.  

Just as you have before, when you look back on these difficult times you face today, you’ll be proud of how you handled yourself. While it may have been difficult in the moment, you made it through. So, keep your head up and never give up.

Have you ever started something new and felt exhausted and felt like giving up?

Maybe you had a brilliant idea of learning to play the guitar. It would sound so cool to be able to whip out your guitar at the beach or host people over and play music for them. It sounds so dreamy and fascinating, so you go to the store, buy a guitar, and find guitar lessons.

Only to start the first class and want to quit.

We human beings know that learning or doing anything new takes time and effort. It was hard when we first learned to walk, to bike, to swim, and to drive. Everything is hard at first, yet as kids, we are more open to that challenge. As we grow older, though, we somehow tend to forget that starting something new is not easy.

Don’t Give Up

Before beginning something new, be prepared for the challenges in advance. Expect hiccups. Expect times when you feel discouraged, or you want to give up. For example, if you want to start a business that helps you be financially free and have more time for yourself, know that at first you probably will have to give more time to the business.

But by preparing yourself for the challenges and struggles in advance, you will not be as thrown off balance when the hard days happen. The most important part about doing anything new is making the commitment before you begin to not give up, no matter how hard it gets – because it will get hard before it gets easy!

Stay Consistent

The next step to working through the hard part and reaching the easy is to stay consistent. Let’s say you want to hit a fitness goal. It might be hard, but you must show up every day in order to get the results you want. The same goes for learning a new language; if you just study it once a month, chances are you won’t retain much of it. You have to be consistent. Aim for working towards your goal every day, or at least a couple of times a week.

Track Your Improvements

In order to keep the motivation high, even through difficult times, it’s helpful to track your progress. Maybe your goal is to run 5 miles in 50 minutes, but right now it takes you more than an hour. Start tracking your progress every day to see your improvement. Tracking your progress is not just limited to the tangible. For example, if you have a service-based business, you can track how confident you were on a sales call. Every little improvement counts, even if it is in the mind.

Focus On 1%

With each day that you work towards your goal, focus on improving by the tiniest bit possible. As long as you improve every day, even if it is just 1%, you are headed in the right direction.

It Is Worth It

As you keep working towards your goals and push through difficulties, soon what was once difficult for you will become second nature. Think about how you first learned to drive; it was probably stressful, chaotic, and complicated! And now, you can listen to music, have a conversation, and you reach your destination without even realizing it. That’s when all the effort you put in becomes worth it. So, keep going, stay consistent, focus on your improvements, and most of all, don’t give up!

We all have dealt with people who exude negative energy. They might make you feel inadequate or make you feel wrong for feeling your feelings. Regardless of how hard you try, you may feel like you have to constantly please them, but it seems like you can’t ever succeed. These people or relationships are often classified as toxic.

One aspect of a toxic person is that they hurt you but make themselves look like the victim. They undermine your pain and disregard your feelings, making it all about themselves. In this case, what can you do?

How to Deal with Someone Who Hurts You

When someone hurts you, especially if it is someone close to you, it can be devastating. You feel betrayed and cheated on. So, what can you do about the situation? You have a choice to make.

Anger

Anger is one of the most common expressions of hurt. And it’s completely normal to be angry when someone hurts you. However, consider how much energy you spend hanging onto that resentment and anger. Is it really making a difference to the person who hurt you? Most likely not. Holding onto anger towards people who hurt you only makes you an angry person, while the other person rarely feels bad or sorry because of your anger.

Holding onto a grudge has no positive outcome, and only does harm to you and your mental peace.

Confront

The other option is to be honest with the person about how you feel. This is especially important if you want this person to stay in your life. In this case, share your feelings openly, without judging or blaming. Remember to keep the focus on how you felt, not what the other person did, which can make the other person become defensive. Use phrases such as “I feel” rather than “you”.

When you share how you feel, it is possible that the other person may completely understand your feelings and want to make amends. Maybe they didn’t even realize how their behavior was hurtful. However, it is also possible that they get angry or blame you. In that case, forgive and move on. Let go, knowing that they are only hurting themselves.

Remember, you have no control over their response, so approach the conversation with no expectations. Share your feelings and let go.

Accept

And finally, the most freeing choice is to accept the situation and let go. This can be really hard, with thoughts like “it’s not fair” or “why is this happening to me?”. However, stewing in those feelings will keep you feeling stuck and miserable. Sometimes you will never understand why someone chose to you hurt you. But, if you want peace, you have to forgive them and move on.

Remember, accepting the situation and forgiving them does not mean that you are okay with their behavior, or you are friends with them again. Feeling angry, sad, and hurt is part of the human experience. Remember, while you can’t change what happened, you can choose your response. Take the time you need to go through the emotions, but then free yourself from the heaviness of the hurt. Accept, let go, and move on, even if you aren’t okay with what happened.

When you start working on your goals and dreams, be prepared for things not to go according to plan. I’ve said this so many times in various posts about failure, but it bears repeating. Failure is not the end; it is part of the journey. It is experience. There’s always an opportunity to learn from what went wrong and to try again with a new strategy. And without that experience, one cannot achieve success.

An Opportunity to Learn and Grow

When we experience failure, it’s natural to feel disappointed and even defeated. It’s especially difficult if we’ve spent hours, days, weeks, months, or even years, trying to achieve something and it doesn’t work out. But it’s important to remember that failure is not the end. It’s simply an opportunity to learn and grow.

Every time we fail, we have the chance to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and try again. And each time we do, we become a little bit stronger and a little bit wiser. We learn what doesn’t work and we get closer to finding out what does. So instead of seeing failure as a bad thing, try to see it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

From Failure to Success

Every successful person has experienced failures along the way. What sets them apart is their ability to pick themselves up after a setback and to keep going. They don’t give up easily because they know that success is worth fighting for.

If you want to achieve something great, you need to be prepared to fail along the way. But don’t let your failures define you or hold you back. Use them as a learning opportunity and keep moving forward until you reach your goal.

Key Questions to Ask Yourself

When you experience a failure, the best thing to do is to stop dwelling on your negative emotions, try to focus on what you can learn from the situation. This is an opportunity for you to discover valuable information that will help you in your journey as you move forward. Ask yourself the following questions:

• What went wrong?
• What could I have done differently?
• What can I do to prevent this from happening again in the future?
• What did I learn from this experience?

Answering these questions will help you to gain clarity and to develop a plan for how to move forward. It’s also important to remember that you’re not alone. We all experience failures at some point in our lives. What matters is how you deal with them.

So if you’re feeling down after a recent setback, just remember that failure is nothing more than a chance to revise your strategy. With a little effort and determination, you can turn things around and achieve success.

And remember, failure is part of the journey to success. And every time we fail, we take one step closer to our ultimate goal. So don’t be afraid to fail, and don’t let failure hold you back. Embrace it as an opportunity to learn and grow. And keep moving forward until you reach your goals.

While I am a big believer in the idea that most people are good and decent, there are times I come across people who are just really just out to get something for themselves. And they will use anyone to get it, even if they are family.

The problem with these friends or family, is that they are opportunity oriented. They value opportunity more than loyalty. While I am all for looking for opportunities to better yourself, the difference here is that they will betray you, use you and/or exploit you to get what they want.

What is Loyalty?

Unconditional Love

When you are loyal to someone, you not only accept them but also love them for who they are. Loyal people stick with you even when things get hard. They don’t threaten to leave you, nor do they manipulate you to be a certain way or do certain things.

Support

Another trait of a loyal friend is that they will have your back no matter what. They will support you and stand up for you in front of others. When things get challenging, they will be there for you.

Consistency

Another important aspect of loyalty is being consistent. Imagine a friend who is warm and loving one day and cold the next. That leaves you guessing and worrying about your friendship. On the other hand, when a friend is loyal, they are dependable and reliable. You know that you can count on them every day, not just today.

Honesty

A true test of loyalty is honesty. You can count on your loyal friend to tell you the truth, even if it is not what you want to hear. A loyal friend truly cares about you and wants to help you, and sometimes that means being honest and sharing harsh truths.

Commitment

A loyal friend will cherish the relationship and invest in it. They will put in the time and effort to maintain the friendship, whether that’s just an occasional phone call to check up on you or plans to meet every week. Whatever it is, when you have a loyal friend, you know that you aren’t the only one putting effort into the friendship.

Good friendships make life infinitely sweeter. But along the way, sometimes we find ourselves in friendships that drain us and take more from us than they give us. When a relationship stops becoming a two-way street, it might be time to let go.

Moving on from friends can be difficult, especially if you have known them for a long time. But not everyone who comes into our life is meant to stay in it forever. As you let disloyal friends go, you make space for more authentic and beautiful relationships. Life is short and our time here is limited, so give it to those who stick around and love you for who you are.

This Ukrainian proverb speaks to the power of patience and perseverance. Anyone can achieve great things if they are willing to put in the time and effort required.

This is an essential life lesson that we should all remember. In today’s world, it seems like everyone wants instant gratification. We want our food fast, our movies short, and our internet connections delivered at lightning speed. But the truth is, real success comes from patience and perseverance. If you want to achieve something great, don’t give up; keep going until you reach your goal.

Why Patience is Important

Patience is a virtue and it’s one that we should all aspire to have. It’s not always easy, but it is worth it. Here are some ways practicing patience can help with everyday life:

Overcoming Challenges

We may not be able to solve everything all at once, but if we take it one step at a time and stay focused on our goal, we will eventually reach it. If you are feeling discouraged, remember that with enough persistence, you can accomplish anything you set your mind to!

Understanding Situations Better

When we’re patient, we’re able to take the time to really understand a situation. We can see all sides of the issue and we’re less likely to make a rash decision.

Enjoy Life

Being in the present also allows us to better enjoy life. When we’re not always rushing around trying to get things done, we’re able to savor the moment. We can appreciate the little things more when we’re tranquil and tolerant with time.

Better Relationships

Patience is also key in relationships. It’s important to be understanding with our friends, family, and significant others. By doing this, we’re able to have more meaningful relationships with the people in our lives.

How to Be More Patient in Life

If you find that you’re often impatient, don’t worry! Here are some tips to help you be more patient in life:

Start Small

If you’re having trouble being patient, start with something small.

For example, if you usually get impatient while driving, try to take a few deep breaths and relax when you start to feel frustrated. Do this often and you’ll work your way up, building an even temperament that will allow you to reduce frustration in the future. Eventually, your frustration while driving will dissipate.

Take Breaks

When you’re feeling impatient, it’s important to take a step back and relax. Take a break from whatever it is you’re doing and come back to it later with fresh eyes.

Think Positive

It’s helpful to think positive thoughts in your everyday life. Remind yourself that you can do it and that it’s worth the effort.

Don’t Give Up

Finally, don’t give up! People develop habits over time, and it takes effort to change them. If you find yourself getting impatient, don’t get discouraged. Just keep trying and eventually, you’ll get there. Just keep working at it and soon you’ll see a difference.

Patience is a virtue for a reason; it allows us to achieve the impossible. So next time you’re feeling impatient, remember that good things come to those who wait. Apply this wisdom to your life today and see how much further you can get!

A few years ago, I wrote a post about the importance of healing ourselves. If we don’t heal what has hurt us, we will bleed on people who didn’t cut us. When we are at war with ourselves, often times lurking underneath the surface is a lot of shame, anger and self-sabotage.

When I was growing up, I was at war with myself. I’d have periods of time where I felt more confident and okay being “different” from other people. But for more reasons than I can count, I just didn’t feel good enough. I feared people judging me. I hated my appearance. I had so much self-loathing, that I assumed everyone else around me felt it, too. And struggled with this well into my adult years.

When we are engaged in constant battle with our own worthiness, we inevitability cause damage to our relationships and ourselves. We become externally focused, and our mental point of origin rests in the hands of others. Our self-worth is dependent on whether or not someone else can see it, rather than seeing it for ourselves.  

For some of us, we end up chasing love, constantly trying to prove our worthiness. I sure did in my younger years. And of course, I always picked a partner who reinforced the shame and feelings of not being good enough that I felt towards myself. You see, when we believe negative things about ourselves, we end up attracting people and situations that confirm those beliefs. And we get caught in a vicious cycle of seeking approval and acceptance. We also put an unfair amount of pressure on others to make us feel good about ourselves. And no one can live up to the standards we have to feel reassured.

For some of us, we wage war against ourselves by protecting our ego at all costs. We respond to situations in a defensive way and become quite toxic.

We can also project our own feelings of shame or inadequacy onto others. And even when you have worked on yourself and your self-talk for years, it can creep in.

Case in point, one summer my husband and I got stuck in the sand on the beach at Cape Kiwanda in Oregon. We were in a Jeep no less, but the sand was soft and the tide was coming in. We obviously didn’t pay attention to the conditions, and at the time, we were very inexperienced driving in sand.

When we were stuck in the sand, people around were observing us. A group of local teenage boys were close by. My initial thought was, “Wow, they must be thinking that we are so stupid” and I laughed about it but felt a bit uneasy. Even though I had a sense of humor about it, I was still projecting my own feelings of inadequacies onto others. And just as I was thinking that they came over and helped us get out. I was so grateful and thankful for the help and the lessons.

So what did I learn? One, only drive out onto the sand within two hours of low tide and try to drive between the water and high tide line. The sand will be hard packed and much easier to navigate. Two, lower the PSI (on sand, it should be about 20) on your tires before heading out onto the sand, especially of you are going to encounter soft sand.

But the most important thing I learned was that just because I think people might think we are stupid; doesn’t mean they do or that they wouldn’t help us. Looking back, I don’t know why I thought we were stuck there on our own, with so many people nearby. People are basically good and more often than not, will step in and help people.

When you have spent years at war with yourself, even when the battles are done and you have won, stay mindful of your thoughts. Like Mad Eye Moody would say, you need to practice “constant vigilance.” That bad code can creep in when you least expect it.