Have you ever missed out on an opportunity because you waited too long to decide that you wanted that opportunity? Unfortunately, this happens to people all the time, and the main culprit is procrastination. Today’s quote speaks to this phenomenon and reminds us that no opportunity is available forever. We need to stop procrastinating and take opportunities when they present themselves. Dangers of Procrastination We have all been there: we put off doing things that we should be doing until the last minute or until we don’t end up doing those things at all. Procrastination is a common problem, and it seems to be becoming a more normalized occurrence in society. However, procrastination can be dangerous for several reasons. Let’s take a look at a few of them: Missed Opportunities Procrastinating in the decision-making process can lead us to miss out on important and life-changing opportunities. As an example, consider the following scenario: An employer reaches out to you and is interested in bringing you in for an interview, but you don’t respond to them for two weeks because you procrastinate. To the employer, you appear disinterested in the position, and they move on to another candidate. Outcome: you lost a great job opportunity. Lack of Advancement Stemming from the previous danger, procrastination can cause you to remain at a standstill in life. When you put things off rather than tackling them right away, you prevent yourself from making any progress. This can affect your relationships, work performance, and personal growth. Decreased Well-Being Most importantly, procrastination can be detrimental to your overall well-being. Procrastination causes unnecessary added stress to your life which decreases happiness, damages your immune system, worsens your mental health, and prevents you from getting help to fix it. How to Avoid Procrastinating and Accept Opportunities Luckily, there are several ways you can go about avoiding procrastination and opening yourself up to new opportunities. Here are four tips you can use to start advancing your life today: Break Up Tasks into Smaller Tasks Sometimes we procrastinate because a task or a decision seems too big and too time-consuming. You can help yourself out by breaking overwhelming tasks up into multiple smaller tasks and focusing on completing one small task at a time. Give Yourself a Shorter Decision Timeline Our brains are interesting; when given a deadline, we tend to put things off until close to the deadline. So, if we are given a deadline that is two weeks from now, we tend to do no work for the first week and a half. Weird, right? The great news is that you can trick your brain by setting earlier deadlines for yourself. For example, if you have a paper that is due in a month, set earlier deadlines for each portion of the paper. Aim to have the introduction written in the first week, then aim for two body paragraphs the week after. These smaller deadlines will keep you on a better track to a larger goal. Focus on…

Do you have a big goal or a desire that lights up your heart? Without something to work towards or hope for, life would be dreary! As children, we are bright-eyed and full of dreams, believing anything is possible. But as we grow older, we get caught up in the fears of the world and let some of our desires die. We stop believing that anything is possible like we did when we were kids. So, how can you combat fear and live your dreams? 5 Ways to Nurture Your Dreams and Keep Fear Away Get Clear on Your Desire and Dreams What do you desire? What is your dream? Many people make the mistake of not getting clear on their goals. For example, they will say “I want to be rich”. Okay, but what does rich mean? Getting an extra $1,000 per month? Winning the lottery? Or making $1 million a year? Get Clear On your Why Understand why you want to achieve your dream. Why do you want this? What will it bring you? How will you feel? Get specific. For example, if you want an extra $10,000 per month, what will you do with it? Will you travel the world? Will you buy a fancy house? Will you invest it in stocks?  Why do you want this $10,000 per month? Own Your Motivation Your motivation is a crucial element in the journey of bringing your goals into reality. Our dreams require work and can often ask us to get out of our comfort zones, be uncomfortable, and do things we don’t feel like doing. In those moments where you have to give up immediate pleasure and satisfaction for a long-term gain, the only way you will succeed is if you know for sure WHAT you want (step 1) and WHY you want it (step 2). Keep these two answers in front of you, where you can easily see them multiple times a day, to stay reminded of your dreams. Fight Procrastination As we work towards our goals and build momentum, we feel more encouraged and motivated. However, when we procrastinate, waiting for the right time (which never comes, by the way!), we end up not taking any action. This emptiness causes us to become complacent, washing out our desires. If you never take action towards achieving your goals, you will never taste success or feel motivated. Over time, you will forget why you even wanted your goal in the first place. Procrastination extinguishes the spark of desire we once felt for our goals. So, stop waiting for one day, for the right time, or the perfect situation, and take action! Start with the small tasks, build momentum, and get the ball rolling. Face Your Fears When your desire dies, fear is born. However, fears can also kill desires. Some common fears are the fear of failure, fear of being judged, or the fear of the unknown. So how does our fear hold us back? It depends how…

In the movie The Matrix, Neo is advised not to try to bend the spoon, but to instead try realize the truth: There is no spoon. He is then told that it isn’t the spoon that bends, it is only himself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAXtO5dMqEI Neo cannot manipulate reality and bend the spoon, he can only change his own thinking. By confronting his preconceived ideas of how the world works, he can change his thinking, and as a result, his reality. This encounter with the spoon is actually a pivotal point in the story. The Matrix has all these “rules”, like gravity and time. They are lies the Matrix tells his brain. Once Neo realizes this, he can do what he needs to do in the story as “The One.” He gains more confidence and power. Neo can fly and do all sorts of “matrix-like” things because he realizes what he was taught about gravity is a false construct. By realizing that there is no spoon, you can challenge all that you have learned that may or may not be true. It can open you up to new opportunities and ways of achieving your dreams. On a larger scale and fundamental level, as children we are programmed to believe certain things that may or may not be accurate. Think about things you grew up believing that have been proven wrong as you’ve gotten older and gotten more life experience. I’ll give you can example of my thinking, which is rather embarrassing, but here goes. When I was a child, I didn’t believe I would be able to get married in a church because I didn’t have a relationship with my father. How could I be walked down the aisle by my father if he wasn’t around? My godfather wouldn’t be able to do it because he had been murdered. Who did I have? The limited information that I had about getting married was based in fear of judgment and came from a place of lack. I was very young, so that is to be expected, too. I also grew up Catholic during a period of time when divorce was frowned upon. And I was uncomfortable asking the question of who would be able to walk me down the aisle. As a result, I assumed if I did actually get married, it would have been in Vegas after a series of some bad decisions! But seriously, can you imagine if what I believed about the process of getting married wasn’t ever challenged? That would have been sad. It never dawned on me that my uncle, who ended up being a father figure to me, would be a great person to walk me down the aisle. Or that I could do any kind of ceremony I wanted to do. It didn’t have to conform to the rules I had formulated in my own mind. There were options, Carlyle. (Yep, that’s from Twilight when Edward tells Carlyle he needs options.) The lesson here is that once…

In the 1998 Disney movie, Mulan, the Emperor of China describes Mulan as a flower that blooms in adversity, making her the most rare and beautiful of all.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i4TLmF73dk For some background, Mulan went to war in her father’s place to protect him from potential harm. She ends up becoming the hero of her country. When offered to work at the palace for the emperor, she turns him down because she wants to go home to her family. The emporer then says to the general who fought beside Mulan that, “the flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.” He encourages the general to tell Mulan how he feels about her. You see, anyone can prosper and bloom during easy times. It is only during our struggles and adversity our will to keep going is tested. And when we rise up and face our challenges, we bloom more beautifully because of all that we have gone through to get where we are. Remember, it is in those moments when we are ready to give up that the magic happens. The tide turns, and who knows what it can bring to us. I know a popular YouTuber who was really down on her luck when she first started making videos. She was struggling financially as a single mother of four and had a lot going on in her personal life. When she lost her job, she was devastated. And scared. With more time on her hands, she decided to start making videos about being a mom and posting them on YouTube. Over time, she built an audience and supportive community of like-minded people. She never expected her channel to grow like it did or to be able to make decent money making these videos.   She was able to bloom beautifully during her darkest times. Faced with the fears of how she was going to provide for her kids, she decided to press the record button and start talking about it. She thought that she might be able to help other people in similar situations, and she did. Don’t be discouraged by adversity. See it as an opportunity to become something greater than you are today.

What is love? Love is the most fundamental yet nebulous feeling that makes us human. It’s the fabric of our existence. We all crave love because that is what we are made of. However, in our humanness, we can begin to fear that the love we have will leave us. What if our loved ones leave or pass away? What if their love runs out? This quote is one that was spoken by Sirius Black (played by the great Gary Oldman) in Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. Sirius reminds Harry that the love his parents had for him still lives on in his heart, even though they have passed away. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBASaxp9jw4 What is Love? Most of us have grown up with a distorted idea of love. We define it as what happens in romantic comedies, Disney movies, or love songs. We try to put it in an overly simplified box: something between a man and woman, where they feel butterflies in their stomach and have a happy ending. The problem is love is that and much more. Love is not just about the physical butterflies, nor is it limited to romantic heterosexual relationships. Anyone can love and feel love towards anyone and anything else. In fact, love is what connects us all. It’s the essence of humans. 3 Types of Love Spiritual teachers have tried to categorize the many kinds of love, boiling down to at least three basic kinds of love: Absolute Love, Individual Love, and Sadhana (practice). Absolute Love is the spiritual love that unites everything and everyone. The yoga tradition describes Absolute Love as satchidananda. Sat refers to its pure beingness. This love is everywhere and in everything. Chit refers to how it is innately conscious. Ananda describes it as the essence of joy and love. This love is the feeling that we all experience at some point or another; it is the reason why a magnificent sunset can bring us to tears. It’s a profound, almost ecstatic feeling. It can be found in a moment of solitude in nature, or in an intimate moment with a partner. The where and the how isn’t important. And as we practice opening up our hearts, we can tap into this Absolute Love more often. Individual Love refers to the love you feel for someone or something. However, the source of Individual Love is still Absolute Love. For example, maybe you love a certain song (Individual Love), and it makes you feel something. That feeling is still a reflection of Absolute Love. Sadhana refers to the practice of love. It helps us connect the feeling of love that we crave with our actual reality. It is the actions and attitudes based on kindness and acceptance that helps us act loving even when we don’t feel like loving. For example, it is saying thank you even when you don’t feel gratitude or taking a break from work even when you don’t feel productive enough. We Can Tap into it…

There are times in life when it's wiser to hold back on speaking your mind, especially if it could get you into trouble or hurt someone you care about. This is especially true during those moments when sharing your thoughts and opinions would only escalate a conflict or argument, rather than promoting peace and harmony. However, even if you choose not to speak your thoughts aloud at certain times, it's still important to validate them to yourself, especially if there are strong feelings connected to them. Holding back your words can create an emotional war within yourself. It disallows your feelings their full natural expression, so you end up bottling them up inside and feeling the weight of those unspoken sentiments. Those unprocessed emotions will continue to be triggered by the people and events around you, which only keeps you in a continuous loop of emotional reaction as they keep recurring with no outlet. One good way to escape this cycle is to give yourself permission to fully express your thoughts and feelings when something is troubling you, even if you only express them to yourself. Choose a time and place where you can be alone for a few minutes, and call to mind an image of the person or situation that is upsetting you. Give yourself five or ten minutes to vent your thoughts and feelings about it. Speak your mind and allow your feelings to flow freely. Then take a deep breath and decide that you are letting go of the situation. Say aloud, “I have expressed my thoughts and feelings about this person or situation, and now I am choosing to let it go.” Focus on the feeling of emotional detachment, being free and clear of all inner turmoil, and feeling stable and grounded within. A process like this gives you the power to quickly and easily transcend any negative feelings that are triggered by other people or the things you experience each day, and even the troubling things that are happening in the world. You can also use this same technique to release negative emotions that you may still be holding from past events. Think about the last time your partner said something that hurt your feelings, or the time in elementary school when your teacher embarrassed you in front of the class. Old memories like these can still hold an emotional charge if you never fully processed the feelings when the experience happened. Process and release those feelings in the same way, by simply speaking what's in your heart and allowing your feelings to flow naturally. What would you have liked to say to your teacher, or your partner, or anyone else who has hurt you in the past? Say it now. It does not matter that they can't hear your words, it only matters that you give yourself permission to express the way you feel. Once you have done that, you will feel a sense of closure and you can move forward feeling much…

In Game of Thrones, Petyr Baelish says these words in Season 3. And it begs the question: When does one truly feel satisfied? Have you noticed that we humans always want more? First, we want a job that pays us X. Then, we want an apartment of our own. When we get an apartment, we want a bigger one. We constantly want more and bigger. The same goes with salaries, jobs, cars, and our phones! Why is it that no matter what we want and what we get, we aren’t satisfied? This concept is known as “hedonic adaptation”. Hedonic Adaptation What is hedonic adaptation? Hedonic adaptation, also known as the hedonic treadmill, is the human tendency to return to a set point of happiness, irrespective of what happens. This is why no matter what goals you achieve, it doesn’t feel enough and you want more. Journey Over the Destination So, if achieving more doesn’t make us happy, what does? Neuroscience shows that the act of seeking itself, rather than the goals we might achieve, is key to satisfaction. Dr. Andrew Huberman talks about this regularly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du5cQQxrXtI Essentially, life is about the journey and not the destination. This human desire to seek explains why achieving major goals, winning the lottery, moving into your dream house, or getting your dream job doesn’t result in an increase in long-term happiness. Rather than the final object, we crave the act of seeking - the chase. Happiness comes from the pursuit of goals. How Hedonic Adaptation Helps Us While at first glance it may look like humans are greedy and never satisfied, the concept of hedonic adaptation shows what helped our species evolve as a whole. By prioritizing the act of seeking, rather than achieving, we avoid becoming complacent. The pursuit of achieving helps us move from one goal to another, and not settle once we achieve something. Imagine if human beings felt satisfied with the horse as a means of transportation. We would never have advanced to cars, planes, buses, trains, and more! This desire for more is invaluable for the advancement of our species as a whole. Secondly, hedonic adaptation can help us in negative situations. Because of our ability to calibrate to our ‘normal’ happiness level no matter what happens, we can also bounce back from challenges easily. It helps us accept things that we cannot change, and move on. The Negative Side of Hedonic Adaptation The flip side of constantly seeking more is that we are always in a state of wanting. This can cause feelings of frustration because we never feel satisfied (at least in the way we expect). In addition, because we are always pursuing the next thing, we deprive ourselves from the joy of the present moment, leading to anxiety, worry, and more discontentment. How to Feel Satisfied So, if we are never satisfied with what we achieve, how can we feel happy? The key is to practice gratitude. The more we can appreciate what we have, the…

I love this quote from Kurt Cobain. As detailed in many books and documentaries, Cobain dealt with a lot of stuff growing up and as a young adult. These things inspired his creativity. While he died young at age 27, Cobain was wise beyond his years and was truly an old soul. Life is hard for all of us. We all go through hardships and unimaginable things. While we may feel like we are alone sometimes, the truth is, we really aren’t. We are all more alike than we think. Someone may seem like they have it all and are without their own problems, but it doesn’t mean that is the case. The image they project onto the world may be radically different from their reality. When I was in middle school, I had a classmate named Carlos. He was such a mean kid – a true school bully. One day I heard him picking on a girl in our class, who handled his insults and nastiness in such a mature way for her age. But even so, he wouldn’t let up. No one stood up to him and the teacher did absolutely nothing to stop it. I was curious about Carlos and why he was so mean. I never talked to the kid, so I had no idea why he was the way he was. He was popular, lived in a huge house and wore designer clothes to school. I started asking other kids who knew him what his deal was, why was he so mean? And what I learned was heartbreaking. While his life looked great from the outside, at home, his mother was dying of cancer. For anyone, dealing with a loved one’s illness is hard. But for a 12-year-old kid, watching his mother waste away in bed every day at home was particularly devastating. It made sense why he was angry and mean. I can’t imagine how sad it was for him at that age, dealing with things no kid should have to deal with on their own. It didn’t make his bullying okay, but it sure explained what was going on with him. The truth is, life isn’t fair. Sometimes we get a shit hand. All we can do is do the best with what has been given to us. And who knows? Maybe by doing the best that we can in our situation, our story can become someone else’s survival guide.