In season 1 of Breaking Bad, Skyler has caught her husband Walter, lying over many things. And as he’s attempting to do some damage control, he is talking to Skyler at the breakfast bar as he is busy cleaning up after breakfast in the kitchen. And he’s making up more lies to “reassure” her and ease her concerns that he is still lying to her and suggests going out and doing something together. When he looks up, Skyler is gone. He looks out the front door to see her in her car and leaving the house.
Obviously, Skyler had enough of Walt’s lies. The more he talked and tried to do damage control (which was cringe worthy – he is such a bad liar!) the more obvious it was that he was bullshitting his wife. And she just didn’t want to hear it anymore.
For me, the worst thing about someone bullshitting you is that they actually believe you will fall for it. And the truth is, many times I have. I tend to take people at face value. For example, if my husband tells me something or offers up an explanation for something, I tend to believe him right off the bat. I just assume that the people around me are showing up with integrity and being honest with me. But this mindset has come back to bite me in the butt more times than I can count.
There are more benign reasons for bullshit, though. Sometimes people are uncomfortable with silence, so they feel the need to say something, even if it doesn’t make sense or unnecessary. For example, I recently started following a YouTuber who is on a road trip. He and his wife are traveling to places we’d like to visit, so it’s interesting. But sometimes it feels unwatchable to me because the guy does not like when there is any silence while they are out exploring, and he feels the need to fill every moment of quiet with meaningless words or repeating observations he has already made.
Silence is far better than lies. And sometimes just letting the moment be what it is in silence can speak more than anything you could say.
Interestingly, we can see the power of silence in the animal kingdom and food chain. Songbirds are very vocal, as it is their way of communicating and most species tend to work together. Birds of prey, however, are a different story. They are solitary. A bird of prey will be vocal when selecting a mate, but more often than not, he asserts his dominance in silence, with aerial displays. As the saying goes, birds of prey do not sing.
There is power in silence. And remember that confidence is silent, and insecurities are loud.
