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You don’t always have to tell your side of the story. Time will.

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When we have a conflict with someone, we are apt to want to tell everyone our side of the story. We are worried about what the other person will say about us and if they will lie and attempt to tarnish our reputation. And sometimes, you end up in conflict with a toxic person, who will be the one who stabs you and tell the world they are the one who is bleeding.

While it can be tempting to want to put your story out there, the truth is, you don’t have to. Time reveals all, in my opinion. Case in point. A friend of mine got into a conflict with her sister. Her sister has a reputation of being such a nice girl. And most of the time, she is. She presents herself as super chill, laid back and who is friendly to everyone. Until she doesn’t get what she wants. Then she will go out of her way to make the “offender’s” life miserable, spreading lies about them to anyone who will listen.

She was tempted to “get ahead” of things and tell other people in her family her side of the story before her sister began talking shit to everyone. When she told me this, I asked her why she felt the need to do this. I told her that everyone knows her character, and even if her sister does talk some shit, it probably won’t hold much weight. But she was seriously worried about what other people in the family would think of her.

As expected, her sister went around telling her side of the story, which was far from how things really went down. People listened to her out of politeness. When my friend went to a family event, her aunt asked her about it and my friend told the truth. When she discovered what her sister had said about her to anyone who would listen, she nervously laughed. And then her aunt took her hand and said, “Don’t you worry, we all know how your sister gets when she doesn’t get her way. We know your real character.”

My friend felt instantly validated. When we are in high stress situations like this, it is easy to lose sight of the fact time does truly reveal who a person is. And in the case of family, we’ve all seen each other at our best and worst. In my friend’s case, her sister wasn’t fooling anyone. She had conflicts with others before who experienced the same thing as my friend did. My friend just lost sight of that because she was stressed that people would actually believe her sister and judge her.

In a scenario like this, say that people do actually believe what is being said about you and it is not true. It’s okay – it really is. Because the truth is, over time, as they deal with that person, they will see that other side of them. It can only be suppressed for so long. Their true colors will shine through eventually.

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