Any kind of criticism, whether it’s constructive or not, can be challenging to both hear and handle. And it is nearly impossible to go through life without getting any at all. Like today’s quote says, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” The truth is, any kind of criticism we receive is good information to have.
The best way to deal with criticism is to use them as an opportunity to improve and challenge yourself. While this may seem easier said than done, it’s worth finding a way to benefit from something that hurts or deeply disappoints you.
Now if you are dealing with a person who is overly critical of you or just finds fault in everything you do anyway, this is also good information to have. Maybe hearing their criticism is an opportunity for you to start re-evaluating you own self-worth. Perhaps it’s time to think about how much time, effort, and energy you give someone who isn’t constructive in their criticism and who seeks to drag you down.
Here are some ways you can respond better to criticism:
Hear What the Other Person is Saying
Regardless of intent, it is always wise to listen to what the other party is saying and try to understand their perspective. You might not agree, especially at first. But if you allow yourself the chance to listen, are giving yourself an opportunity to experience a few good things.
One, it allows you to better understand others and their perspectives/experience. Two, they might be exposing some truths that you need to hear to improve yourself. I don’t know about you, but I surround myself with people who have no trouble calling me out on my shit. And I honestly value it. I would rather have people around me who are honest and tell me the truth when I am doing something wrong or making a mistake, than people who say “yes” all the time or agree with my perspective. When they tell me, it stings a little, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Be Aware of Impulsive Reactions
We all have coping mechanisms, and sometimes, when we feel we’ve been wronged or disappointed in some way, we react impulsively. Some might lash out and respond defensively, and others might give up on a dream or idea because of the wound that criticism has left.
Take a step back to process and reflect on what has been said to you before responding.
Be Gracious
Responding to someone’s criticism by being thankful and grateful for their perspective is a great way to begin accepting what they said. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with their feelings at all. You are merely grateful for them sharing their feelings with you.
All that being said, I know it is hard to not see some criticism as a personal attack. Try to detach yourself and focus on whether or not there is validity to what the person is saying. Be honest with yourself. Maybe them saying something to you is a gift and chance for you to improve.
Turn the Negatives into a Positive
I remember one writer’s group I belonged to that shredded apart a short story I wrote. I went into the session not expecting so much criticism. I left feeling like the worst writer. The next day I reviewed their comments again and realized how constructive and helpful their criticisms were. These were valuable lessons about technique that I still think about today. I’m genuinely grateful for their honesty and suggestions.
Finding the positives within a negative is no easy task, and don’t be disappointed if this takes some time and practice. It often entails sacrificing ego and being completely honest with yourself. In short, it sometimes requires surrender.
Remember, it isn’t always easy hearing criticism from others. When it happens, try to detach yourself from any instant emotions you have and look for any potential wisdom that you can gain from it.
