Try running in place for an hour. You’ll never get anywhere, and you will be exhausted. The same is true when we run away from our problems. We run from them, trying to leave them behind, but we get nowhere, and they stay with us.
It often feels easier to ignore a situation or a difficult circumstance. Maybe it is because we fear confrontation or feel scared about how it may turn out. Or perhaps we do not feel equipped or capable of handling the problem. Maybe we lack confidence in handling our problems correctly. In any event, it is a protection mechanism that offers us temporary relief.
When we don’t confront a problem, it never gets resolved. It always lingers. Perhaps we can push it to the back of our mind, and it may even stay hidden there for a while. But as sure as the sun rises in the morning, that problem is going to come out of hiding at the most inopportune time, and you are going to be forced to deal with it. It’s like sweeping dirt under a rug. Nobody knows it is there except you. But eventually, the rug becomes lumpy from all the dirt being hidden under it, and then people start to notice something is wrong.
The same thing is true when we ignore our problems. They start to manifest themselves in other ways in our lives. We become short-tempered. We find fault with others for no reason. We blame people for our problems. We are moody. We live in the present always looking over our shoulders, worried that a problem is going to jump out at us. While it might feel overwhelming (and it certainly is!), know that this is the universe’s way of forcing us to deal with the problem once and for all. By dealing with it, we are clearing space for something better in our lives.
How do you know if you are running away from your problems?
- You may try to change the subject any time someone brings it up.
- You may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms to not have to think about it.
- You may try to shift the focus from you to someone or something else.
- You may try to minimize the issue and act like it is no big deal.
- You may deny it is a problem at all.
If you are running from your problems, what can you do instead?
1. Define that the real problem is. Dig deep and understand exactly what you are running from. Things aren’t always as they seem. While consciously you may see the problem as what someone else is doing to you, perhaps the real problem is you don’t know how to respond to that person in a way you feel good about. Define it and consider how it is negatively impacting your life. How is not confronting the issue head on working for you? What fear is this problem fueling inside you? What is your ideal resolution and outcome?
2. Turn the problem into an ally. Understand that often times, the obstacle is the way. Whatever problem you currently have is preparing you for something greater. And maybe this problem isn’t happening to you, it is happening for you. The universe has a funny way of getting our attention. Maybe it’s testing you to see if you are serious about your dreams. Or perhaps the universe has put this issue in your path for a specific reason because there is something you need to learn. Maybe the problem is there as a means to slow things down so you can understand what is really important to you.
3. Brainstorm ways overcome the issue. Write down ways you can overcome the problem. Think of everything you can do within your control to resolve it. Maybe the only thing you really have control over is your response, so focus on that.
4. Ask for help when you need it. You would be surprised at who will really be there for you when you ask for help. And sometimes just sharing our burdens and what we are going through with others helps us because we feel less alone. I know I have felt re-energized when dealing with a problem after sharing it with someone else. There is something about vocalizing my struggles to another soul that helps me re-calibrate and helps me focus on finding a way to resolve it. I walk away with a new perspective and determination to overcome it.
Remember, running away from your problems is a race you will never win. We were born to overcome and grow through challenges, struggles, and hurdles. You have what it takes inside yourself to not only survive this problem, but to thrive by overcoming it.
