In the 1985 movie, The Breakfast Club, anti-hero John Bender is mouthing off to Assistant Principal Richard Vernon, while in detention. His defiance is funny, but finally, Richard Vernon says to him, “You know something? You ought to spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people. You might be better off.”
In the movie, Bender is kind of a jerk in the beginning. He takes great pleasure in making others uncomfortable, he doesn’t show respect to anyone, he bullies Brian and sexually harasses Claire. But by the end of the movie, he actually becomes kind.
When we are young and in school, that is our world. We want to be seen a certain way and accepted. Or we don’t want to be accepted and want to be seen as rebel. We are really focused on how our lives look, rather than how it feels. And it is understandable as we are coming into our own at that age that we place such an emphasis on impressing others.
But we see this play out today as adults with social media. We compare our lives and worst moments with other people’s carefully curated highlight reels. It’s an unfair comparison that mostly like does not mirror reality in the least.
When you spend more time trying to find ways to impress others, you miss out on appreciating the moment. You become more prone to chasing after their approval. And the truth is, if you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection.
