Without trust, you cannot have a deep, meaningful love. Think of trust as the foundation of a building. If you have a solid, concrete foundation, it is going to hold the structure on top of it well. But if parts of the foundation are missing or have cracks in it, the structure on top is going to eventually fall. You can’t have a meaningful relationship with someone when anything external can threaten to bring the structure down because it wasn’t built on a solid foundation.
If you are struggling with trusting your partner, a few things could be at play. Ask yourself what is fueling these feelings of distrust. Has your partner shown evidence that he or she should not be trusted? Do they possess a character flaw that suggests they can’t be trusted? O is the lack of trust there because of your own insecurities, and not because of something they have done?
When you trust someone, you are being vulnerable. You are letting someone in, and they can hurt you. You know this and you are still choosing to open your heart. It’s scary. And for years I struggled with trust and whether or not I should trust my partner. And if I did, would he continue to be worthy of my trust?
But then I realized something. Yes, it is important to vet a partner appropriately to know if they have integrity, morals, if they are trustworthy, etc. And everyone’s definition of these things will be different, by the way. But I realized one universal truth about trust.
Ultimately, trust has less to do with your partner and more to do with you.
You see, you can give trust more freely when you trust yourself, and truly know that no matter how things might shake out, you will be okay. You trust yourself because you aren’t dependent on how someone else treats you. Your value and worth aren’t tied to what someone else does or doesn’t do.
As the quote goes, “A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch but on its own wings.”
Trust in your own wings because you were created to fly.
