Have you ever said something that you later regretted? Maybe you were tired from work and stressed about everything on your plate, and you snapped at your partner. Or, maybe you accidentally said too much to a friend who wasn’t ready to hear what you had to say.
Our Words Have Power
What we say can hurt somebody and cause lasting damage to a relationship and a person’s emotional wellbeing. Even though you might feel like you are just saying a few words or sharing your opinion, you don’t know how much it can impact someone else. Often, even if you say sorry or clarify that you didn’t mean it the way it was taken, the damage is done and cannot be reversed.
So, how can you be more careful about your words?
Pause
Before you say something, pause and ask yourself what you are trying to communicate and what your intentions are. Sometimes, when we feel hurt, we want to hurt those around us as well. If that’s the case, taking a pause can help stop us from saying something we regret and encourage us to consider if we really want to be that person who lashes out.
On the other hand, sometimes you might have good intentions but what you want to say can be misunderstood or taken badly. Again, a pause can give you the opportunity to assess whether your words are loving or if they could have a negative impact on someone else. It also allows you to come up with a more productive way of expressing what you really feel.
Listen More
By listening, you are automatically reducing the chance of saying something that might hurt the other person. If you are in a tense conversation, let the other person express themselves. This can not only be helpful in preventing you from accidentally hurting the other person’s feelings, but it also helps you understand the other person more.
Don’t Rush to Fill in the Silence
Have you ever been talking to someone, and then the conversation suddenly dies and you feel a rushing compulsion to say anything that comes to your mind to fill the awkward silence? While silences can feel uncomfortable, it is completely fine to have a lull in the conversation or a quiet moment of reflection. Rather than trying to fill up the silence by blurting out whatever comes to mind, become okay with a little bit of silence. If you don’t have something valuable to say, you can wait for the other person to say something.
Focus on the Good
When you are speaking, it is always a good idea to focus on the positive. Think of the positive qualities of the other person and focus on those. If you are talking to someone at a party, consider the positive aspects of the gathering you are at. It’s easy to focus on the negatives in conversation with others, whether it’s about the food you are eating, the weather, or even your work. However, by focusing on the positive, not only will you refrain from accidentally saying something hurtful, but you will also feel better yourself. You will be training your mind to see the positive in every person and situation, and what’s better than that?
You can always add to what you say, but you can’t take back your words. Be careful with what you say because one hurtful thing can leave a mark on someone for years. Create a positive environment for yourself and those close to you by focusing on the positive.
