The 2006 movie, The Departed, is a remake of the 2002 Hong Kong film, Internal Affairs. There are also some elements in it that are based on the real-life Boston Winter Hill Gang. A variation of this quote is spoken by the character, Oliver Queenan (played by Martin Sheen) when speaking to Billy Costigan (played by Leonardo DiCaprio).
In the beginning of the movie, DiCaprio’s character wants to become a Massachusetts State Cop. During his interview, he is told that he is way too smart to be a cop. They see DiCaprio’s character as having much more potential than just being a statie. There is also an added bonus of him understanding the criminal world because he comes from a family of criminals. They go on to say that they want someone who is capable of deceiving others, but not themselves.
DiCaprio ends up fulfilling his need to be a cop, by going undercover, becoming a criminal and infiltrating Matt Damon’s crew.
But the lesson in this quote is that the most dangerous form of deception is self-deception. Self-awareness is the opposite of self-deception. And personal growth is depends on self-awareness.
When are deceived by someone else, it is against our will. We are more susceptible to seeing the red flags and signs of being betrayed or deceived when it is coming from someone else. But with self-deception, we not only resist seeing the deception, but we also collude with it against ourselves. We want to believe the deception. We will deny or rationalize any information that opposes what we want to believe. We lie to ourselves and make ourselves believe something that is or isn’t true. And the crazy thing is, we mislead ourselves about various things all the time.
Here’s a great example. In the series Breaking Bad, Marie refuses to admit that she is a shoplifter. Throughout the series, she convinces herself that there is nothing wrong with what she does and refuses to see it as a problem. She just doesn’t see herself as a shoplifter.
Even when her sister discovers what she does, it takes her awhile to admit it and say she is sorry. And even after that, she goes back to deceiving herself about what she does and continues to do it. Even when caught stealing, she will not admit it.
