Do you tend to seek others’ approval when making decisions? Most people look to others to validate their decisions because they are not confident in their ability to make decisions on their own.
However, we shouldn’t need this validation. We need to learn to have confidence in our decisions. Because the more that we love our decisions, the less we will need others to approve of them.
Continue reading to learn the consequences of seeking others’ approval and how to have more confidence in your own decisions.
The Consequences of Seeking Approval
We often seek approval from others because we don’t want to be disliked or judged for the things we do in our lives. We think that if other people approve of what we do, we must be doing the right thing. But this often leads us down a path that isn’t best suited for us. There are consequences to constantly seeking approval.
Going Down the Wrong Path
When we make decisions based on the need for others’ approval, we can lead ourselves down a path that isn’t meant for us. We turn down perfect opportunities and accept jobs, relationships, or lifestyles that we don’t necessarily want or enjoy.
Living Your Life for Other People
There are a lot of people who live their lives for other people, meaning they let others’ opinions dictate every move they make. This might be a specific person they seek approval from (a parent, significant other, friend, etc.), or it might be to please society in general. Again, living your life for other people can prevent you from living the life you actually want to live.
Can Cause You to Lose Yourself
Seeking validation for too long can cause you to lose who you truly are. It can alter the way you act, the way you treat other people, your passions, and your lifestyle. Losing who you are can also lead to mental health problems including depression, lack of self-confidence, and anxiety.
How to Have Confidence in Your Decisions
Having confidence in your decisions and not relying on the approval of others is possible, but you need to be willing to make a few changes. Here are three ways you can start improving your ability to love the decisions you make for yourself.
Understand that the Desire for Approval is Normal
The first step is to understand that it is normal to want others to approve of our decisions. Everyone wants to be liked, and that desire can be difficult to overcome. Accepting that this desire is normal can help you begin to break away from needing validation.
Make Decisions for Yourself and No One Else
The second step is to make decisions for yourself based on what you need and want. Obviously, you should be considerate of other people your decision may affect, but you should also avoid making a choice because another person wants you to make that choice.
Always reflect on your options and identify what you really want before even thinking about what other people might expect you to do.
Have Self-Compassion
The third and final step is to have some self-compassion. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone makes decisions that don’t end up working out in the end. You need to be okay with making a wrong decision and not get down on yourself when something doesn’t go right.
Remember, learning to make decisions without the approval of others can be challenging, but making decisions on your own ensures that you live the life you were meant to live.
