Do you struggle with overthinking about things? Perhaps you get caught up in wondering about why your friend didn’t text you back. Or you feel stressed about the email your boss sent you. Or even the list of chores you have to do this week.
We let our minds be full of random little things that stress us out, cause us to worry, or make us feel bad, taking away our attention from the gift of the present moment. We know we should be more mindful and present, but somehow we just get carried away in rumination.
According to Harvard researchers, rumination, or overthinking, is one of the biggest causes of unhappiness. So if you want to be happier (which, don’t we all?), we have to stop worrying and overthinking.
But how exactly do we do that?
Enter the brilliant five-by-five rule.
The five-by-five rule means that if something won’t matter to you in five years, you shouldn’t spend more than five minutes worrying about it.
Think About the Past
Think about where you were in your life 5 years ago. Consider the little things that bothered you back then. Do they really matter now? How much time did you spend thinking about the little worries 5 years ago, that don’t have any effect on you today?
Release Anxiety
If you struggle with anxiety, try this rule out. Write down whatever is worrying you or causing you to have anxious thoughts and ask yourself, “will this matter to me in five years?” If not, then move on. Don’t worry about it, knowing that if it was in fact important, you would give yourself more time to think about it.
The reason why this rule works so well is because it helps you identify if your worries do in fact require some thought. If you have to make a big decision that has an impact on your future, you are ‘allowed’ to spend time thinking about it.
For example, if you are deciding whether you want to make a radical career shift, like quit your job and start a business, you will realize that you should spend more than 5 minutes thinking about this decision. But, if you are stressing out about what present to get your husband, it might be a good idea to stop the worrisome thoughts.
Stress Makes it Hard to Get Perspective
When you are stressed out, your body goes into a fight-or-flight response. This makes it hard to think clearly. The amazing thing about this rule is that when you realize something isn’t going to make a big difference to you in five years and you give yourself permission to stop worrying, it can actually help you find a clearer solution.
For example, if your car unexpectedly breaks down, it can be easy to spiral down a rabbit hole full of anxious thoughts about finances, lack of transportation, etc. However, will that help anything? Not really. Instead, if you calm down and stop overthinking, you’re more likely to think of a solution.
Living according to the five-by-five rule helps be more intentional about life and letting go of unnecessary distractions. It gives you the opportunity to be more mindful about what you allow to take up your brain space, so that you can use your mental and emotional energy on other things that matter.
