I am a big believer in trusting my gut. But even when something feels right to me, if it is a difficult decision, I will contemplate it for a couple days. I find that it is better to take a little bit longer to make the decision than it is being haunted by a bad one late at night.
Big decisions can be overwhelming. And difficult ones even more so. You don’t want to overthink things, either. So how do you effectively make a difficult decision?
1. Write down your choices. Write down all the choices you can potentially make in the situation and write out the pros and cons for each. It can be helpful to get it all on paper. When we keep it all in our heads, we inadvertently forget things and self-doubt can creep in and confuse us. Pay attention to the words you use to describe the choices you have. Sometimes the language we choose reveals how we feel about a particular choice.
2. Be honest about what you really want. And what you may be willing to give up to get it. The more honest you can be with yourself about how you really feel about the choices ahead of you, the more satisfied you will be with your decision.
3. Eliminate your fears about the decision. When we are fearful that things won’t work out if we choose something, it can cause us to lose our whole perspective on the situation. Remember, our fears want us to stay in the situation we are currently in. Even if it is an awful one, it is comfortable. It keeps us in a pattern of inaction. And speaking from personal experience, once you get into that pattern, it can be much harder to break out of it. Note your fears and concerns, but don’t allow it to overshadow potential benefits and outcomes a choice can give you.
4. Use this decision as something that affirms what you really care about. Maybe that is your career or family time. Only you can decide what is most important to you. Think of the decision you need to make as something that aligns with what you find most important in your life. If having quality family time every day is important to you, ask yourself if accepting this new job aligns well with what you value.
5. If all of the above fails, flip for it. I’m serious. When I get stuck in a loop of trying to decide something, I will flip for it. I tell myself that no matter what, whatever the coin comes back with I must commit to doing. And while that coin is up in the air and my fate is left to chance, my feelings because much clearer. You obviously don’t have to make your decision based on what the coin says (when I say that I think of No Country for Old Men – the coin has a lot of say in that movie!). But it can be useful in clarifying what you really feel.
