Painful experiences from the past can continue to haunt you when you don’t get to fully process your thoughts and feelings about them. Like many people, you might try to avoid your negative feelings for as long as possible, simply because they’re uncomfortable. You might find yourself keeping busy and creating distractions so you don’t have to feel the sadness, anger, and hurt. But until you face those feelings and internalize the lessons from the past, the hurt will linger, casting a shadow over your happiness.
You can probably recall experiences from your past that still make you wince when you think about them. You probably even try to avoid thinking about them just because they reawaken all of those old, painful feelings again. However, when it comes to emotional pain, the way out is through. Moving through the pain and being fully present with it rather than trying to resist it or run away from it allows you to come out on the other side feeling light and peaceful.
Only then are you able to grasp the wisdom that these experiences hold for you. Every challenge that you have faced during your lifetime gave you a special gift, insight, or lesson. These lessons can be simple or profoundly life changing. Perhaps you fully realized the importance of trusting your intuition, or you stopped taking each day for granted, or you learned something valuable about yourself through the experience.
Consciously recognizing these insights can help you to better process painful memories and see the blessings they contain, rather than focusing only on the hurt they cause you.
One good way to be more proactive in releasing the pain from your past is by keeping a feelings journal. Write about your past experiences that still cause you pain when you think about them today. Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings that come up as you revisit these memories, and then begin stating your intention to release them, one by one. Say, “I choose to let go of this sadness in my heart. It’s safe to release the pain from the past.” Then pause and imagine the feeling fading away.
You may find that some feelings will release immediately, while others might take a little more time. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you move through the process of validating, expressing, and releasing old hurts.
This same gentle approach can also help you navigate any current challenges you may be facing. Acknowledge and validate your feelings about the situation. Let it be okay to feel whatever you are feeling. Embrace the feelings by naming them. “I feel scared, and it’s okay to feel scared.” By accepting your feelings instead of trying to push them away, they will usually soften in intensity.
Finally, no matter how stressful or scary your current circumstances may be, even if it seems as if a dark cloud is hanging over your head, do your best to look for the silver lining. Ask yourself, “What are the hidden blessings in this situation? How is this experience helping me? What good might come from this challenge?”
By looking for the blessings, you shine a light of hope on your troubles and empower yourself with the belief that something good can come from the situation.
