In life, your circle means having a group of close friends with whom you do things and share similar interests. Studies have shown having a close group of friends is good for your physical and emotional well-being. But not all friends are the same, and some may not be supportive or encouraging. When your group no longer motivates you and starts to hold you back, this is when your circle becomes a cage.
It is easy to become comfortable with a set group of people. You all like the same food, same movies. You have similar fashion styles, and you know the song lyrics to all of your favorite songs and don’t mind singing them together at the tops of your lungs. You have fun together, and that’s good!
But when you start to feel like you need more, that’s when you are going to find out whether your circle is good for you or if it is hindering your growth. As humans, it is natural for us to desire growth. We often feel growing pains at different times in our lives. If you have the right circle of friends, you are going to be inspired and encouraged by them to explore these desires and grow. Maybe it is to go to college or to change careers. In any case, they are going to celebrate your achievements, and it may inspire each of them to set and achieve goals of their own.
On the other hand, sometimes your growth or optimism makes “friends” jealous. They don’t want to see you succeed because then they will feel like a failure. It is easier for them, and selfish of them, to discourage you or make fun of you in an attempt to stop you from trying something new. This is the cage door slamming shut. They like you just as you are because it makes them feel better about themselves. They don’t want the pressure to change or improve. And that is what they will feel if they see you setting and achieving goals. These people are not the right friends.
How can you recognize who inspires you and who wants to keep you in a cage? Ask yourself these questions:
1. Do they build you up or put you down?
2. Do they cheer you on or pout and tell you what you are doing is ridiculous?
3. Do they motivate you or drain you?
Who you spend your time with matters. Remember, we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. People who truly want you to succeed are positive and encouraging, and they motivate and inspire you toward greater things.
People who criticize you for wanting to improve yourself or accomplish something will hold you back. They will make you feel unworthy of something other than what you already have. They will make you feel stupid for thinking you can achieve your goals. They are anchors in your life, holding you in place right where they want you, without any regard for where you want to go.
Don’t be afraid to open the cage and spread your wings. You will find people who support you along the way, and you will be happier.
