Life in the 21st century is definitely a wild ride. In the age of social media, we are constantly balancing societal expectations with our parents’ expectations, our friends’ expectations, our partners’ expectations, and our own expectations. With all of these influences acting on us, it’s not surprising that a lot of us lose ourselves in the chaos.
The truth is, pretending to be someone or something you’re not can make you lose sight of the person you are or want to be. Let’s take a look at some of the influences that can cause you to lose yourself.
Influences and Expectations
In life, we are pushed and pulled in many different directions. Everyone has a different idea of what you should do, the people you should spend time with, how you should treat other people, what you should look like, what your talents should be, and so on.
Some of this influence is positive and leads you in the direction you want to go. However, there are also a lot of negative influences that contribute to the unrealistic and unwanted expectations that lead you off course. Here is a short list of potential influences on your life:
- Social media
- Parents
- Friends
- Relatives
- Peers
- Television
- Music
- Education
Are You Lost?
With all these influences, it might be tricky to know whether or not you have lost your way. Some signs that you may be lost include the following:
You Don’t Know Why You’re Doing What You’re Doing
Do you go to work or class and wonder why you ever decided to choose your specific career or major? Do you find yourself doing activities that don’t give you any form of satisfaction? This is a good sign that you might be choosing your pursuits based on what other people expect from you.
You Feel That Your Support Systems are Brittle
Do you feel that your support system could break apart if you do something others don’t agree with? Are your friends only your friends when you live up to their expectations? This may mean you are pretending to be someone else in order to stay in a specific group or friendship.
You Consider What Others Will Think Before Considering What You Want
When you think about doing something different in your life, do you first consider what other people will think of you? You can easily lose yourself when you only do things that other people will accept you for.
You are Stressed All of The Time
Our minds and bodies know what is right for us, and they will tell us when we aren’t heading in the right direction. Pretending to be someone we are not is extremely stressful and draining.
How to Get Back to You
Take Control
You are the only one who can choose the direction of your life. People only have power over you when you allow it. If you feel that you have lost yourself, take control of your actions and your life and only do things that make you feel fulfilled and happy.
Eliminate Negative Influences
Along with taking control of your life, you need to get rid of the influences in your life that push you the wrong way. Spend less time with the friends or family members that pressure you to do what they want. Unfollow social media accounts that set unrealistic expectations. Putting distance between yourself and the negative influences will give you more freedom of choice.
Consider Yourself First
You are the one that has to live with your choices. Always put yourself first when deciding what job you want to pursue, what you want to dress like, the hobbies you want to involve yourself in, etc. You’ll be much happier when you are doing things for you and not for someone else.
We might have to balance many different influences in life, but it is important to remember to not lose sight of who we are along our journey. Do what makes you happy, and forget the rest.
