We’ve all been there; you’re in a room with a few friends, and one of them starts talking negatively about a friend that isn’t in the room. How does that make you feel? Do you feel like the friend in the room is a good person for bringing these negative qualities to your attention, or do you feel negatively towards the person in the room for trying to make someone else look bad?
I have a feeling that most of you picked the latter. When we try to make other people look bad, we hurt someone else’s reputation as well as our own. Before we dive into how making others look bad makes us look bad, it is important to understand why we try to make others look bad in the first place.
Why We Try to Make Others Look Bad
Low Self-esteem
People with low self-esteem tend to judge themselves constantly. It’s common for them to project their self-judgments onto other people as a way to lessen the judgment they place on themselves.
In addition, people with low self-esteem may feel that criticizing others prevents people from criticizing them. If they can get the negative attention (imagined or real) off of themselves, they receive less judgment in the end.
Unhappiness
Unhappy people don’t want to be alone in their unhappiness. Seeing other people happy when we aren’t happy ourselves can cause jealousy, and making other people unhappy can make us feel better about ourselves for a short time.
Gaining Attention
Gossip always brings a lot of attention to the person spreading it because people always want to know what’s going on. Spreading gossip can give people a sense of power and belonging because they have information that other people want.
Tearing Others Down Doesn’t Bring You Up
Making someone else look bad might make you feel good for a while, but eventually, you will realize how your actions reflect negatively on your character. Tearing others down has consequences.
People Will Trust You Less
If you are always gossiping, judging others, or making other people look bad, other people start to catch on and realize that you’re probably not someone they should trust. Putting other people down can ruin your relationships because no one wants a friend who hurts others to make themselves look better.
You’ll Gain the Wrong Kind of Attention
As mentioned above, some people belittle others for attention; however, making other people look bad doesn’t bring the kind of attention you want. Do you want people always coming to you to point out another person’s flaws, or do you want quality friendships who support you when you need help?
Negativity Attracts Negativity
The Law of Attraction states that positivity brings positive outcomes, and negativity brings negative outcomes. If you are unhappy or have low self-esteem, bringing others down by speaking negatively about them is only going to attract more negativity to your life. Remember, misery loves company.
How to Actually Make Yourself Look Good
Putting others down is not the way to make yourself look good. So, what should you do?
Recognize That Your Only Competition is Yourself
In life, we should always strive to be better than we were yesterday. No one has the power to do that for us and relying on other people to make us look better will yield fruitless results. Make an effort to bring positivity into your life by developing new skills, forming new relationships, practicing mindfulness, and truly being kind to other people.
Remember, it is up to you to make yourself look good. And you never do so by making someone else look bad.
