What is rationalization? Rationalization is commonly described as a “socially acceptable explanation for an otherwise socially unacceptable act.”
According to Freud, rationalization is a defense mechanism. It’s a way to avoid addressing the underlying reasons for a behavior. For example, you might procrastinate on a project that is due tomorrow. When you rationalize it, you avoid dealing with the real reasons why you procrastinate – which in this case might be fear of failure.
So why is rationalization ‘bad’? While rationalization is not harmful, it is a form of self-deception. It allows you to make excuses for bad behavior. It also strips you from your power because you end up becoming the victim of your life.
How can you stop rationalizing?
Stop making excuses
If you do something wrong or make a mistake, rather than making excuses, own up to it. When you start to make excuses and create some explanation that sounds good, it not only lowers your credibility in front of others, but also towards yourself. You make something else the problem, which results in you taking away your own power.
Take responsibility
We are responsible for where we are today. We can blame other people, whether it is our parents, our bosses, our friends, or our dog, but at the end of the day, we are responsible for our own actions.
If we aren’t happy about something in our lives, whether it is where we live or the relationship we are in, there is no use in trying to rationalize why we are stuck. Once we take responsibility, we can take back our control over our lives.
Stop justifying
Let’s say you are angry or upset. The more you harbor these negative feelings, the stronger they grow. So what’s the solution? To step out of these negative emotions and forgive.
But, if you keep justifying that you have a right to be upset, you will continue to become angrier.
This is why angry people continue to explain and elaborate on the reasons for their negative feelings. Instead, if you accept a situation and move on, you can clear your mind, calm down and release negative emotions. Then you can do something to actually change the situation.
For example, let’s say your boss fired you. If you get angry and constantly talk about it, rationalizing why you are angry and why you will disgrace the company on social media, you just increase those negative feelings.
But if you accept the situation and stop analyzing it and justifying your anger, you will feel calm much faster, your feelings of anger will dissipate, and then you can focus your attention and energy on finding a new (and possibly better) job!
Remember, rationalization can be a helpful way of coping with difficulties, but if we constantly rationalize, it can also keep us stuck in our lives. When we rationalize our mistakes, negative emotions, or negative situations, we remove the possibility of growth. By rationalizing, we give a reason to why we are stuck and why we cannot change. If you want to grow, it’s important to stop rationalizing and start taking responsibility.
