One of the hardest things for people to do is walk away from someone they love. But you have to honor self-love and self-respect above all else.
Loving yourself and putting your own happiness first is not selfish. It’s the opposite. The more you cherish yourself, the better you treat others around you. If you have an empty cup, you cannot hydrate yourself or those around you.
Learn to serve yourself so that you can better serve the world. Keeping your peace of mind is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and the people we love. The more at ease we are, the more peace we can share with the world.
If something takes away your energy or drains you mentally or emotionally, makes you doubt yourself, or serves no real purpose in your life, it may not only be not serving you but also harming you.
If you’re having difficulty walking away from a situation that is no longer serving you, whether it is a relationship, a job, or a living situation, here are three exercises to help you clarify how you feel.
Write Letters to People from the Past
Writing letters to specific people or even situations that have already happened can help you better understand your feelings. You don’t ever have to mail them. The idea is to get your true thoughts and feelings down on paper so you can fully express yourself. Maybe you need to forgive someone, thank them or simply explain yourself. Whatever it is, get those thoughts onto the paper. This will help you process your emotions to understand what you’re holding onto that is no longer serving you and move forward.
Take Inventory
Look at your life and categorize it. Write down your possessions, relationships, hobbies, habits, commitments, goals, beliefs, and values. Then imagine you need to eliminate 30% of your list. What do you need to get rid of? What do you want to keep? When doing this exercise, use your intuition and go with your gut. Don’t overthink it, just eliminate it based on your first instincts. Your final list of things to eliminate doesn’t necessarily mean you have to eliminate them. But what it does tell you is that your gut is hinting at the need to re-examine that 30% and determine whether it is really serving you.
Keep Track
Maybe letting go is not something you’re capable of doing right now – and that is totally okay. You can start with keeping track of what happens every time that person or situation makes you feel bad. If this running list continues to grow, and it’ll become incredibly apparent that it’s time to move on. Once you have a solid list, write another list that contrasts with all the good feelings and things you want out of life. Note how you can attain those feelings or how someone would need to treat you to achieve those feelings and goals. For example, on your list of things that made you feel bad if you had written, “he made me feel bad about my appearance when he told me to lose weight,” your second list could say, “He makes me feel beautiful because he loves me just the way I am.”
It is human nature to stick with the things we know. And when we choose to have the courage to let go of what is no longer serving us, we make room for new opportunities that can serve us.
