Have you ever wished you could do something, but somehow you hold yourself back?
Maybe you wanted to start a business or become an artist or even just approach someone at the bar.
Why does this happen?
We often have highly critical perceptions of ourselves. We think we aren’t pretty enough, talented enough, funny enough, or just good enough as we are. For us, it isn’t about who we are that holds us back – it’s who we think we are not.
Where these feelings become problematic is that they can stop you from taking the action you need in your life.
So how can you change the way you view yourself so that you can step out of your fear and do what your heart desires?
1. You can redefine yourself. We often hold ourselves back because of the limits and labels we put on ourselves. However, nothing is set in stone. When we are willing to redefine ourselves and let go of the labels we have put on ourselves, we can break through the limits and become anyone we want. So allow yourself to consider everything you ARE rather than what you aren’t.
2. Identify your limiting beliefs. To redefine yourself, you first need to get clear on what it is that you truly believe about yourself. Think about times you have wanted to do something but you held yourself back. Maybe you wanted to speak up at work, or ask someone out. Whatever it was, take note of it.
Next, ask yourself what stopped you. What was the thought that held you back? For example, did you think you didn’t have something smart enough to say? Did you think you weren’t pretty enough to ask that person out?
When you find yourself labelling yourself with beliefs like “I am not smart enough” or “I am not pretty enough”, write them down so that you can change them.
3. Create a new story for yourself. Prove your labels and limits as wrong! More often than not, these limiting beliefs about ourselves are just harsh thoughts our inner critics have convinced us of.
If you think you aren’t pretty, consider all the times someone has complimented you. If you think you aren’t smart enough, then remind yourself of all the times you have proved yourself to be extremely wise and intelligent.
You can also create a new affirmation to remind yourself of the opposite belief. For example, you can say something like “I am beautiful in my own way”. Everyday before work, you might look in the mirror and say “I am intelligent” or “I have a lot to offer at work today”.
4. Take massive action. This is the scary but thrilling part! When you take the action you were earlier afraid of taking, you practice becoming the version of you that you want to be.
5. Don’t give up. Remember, even if it doesn’t work out the first time, don’t give up! It doesn’t mean anything, it is merely experience. Just because your boss doesn’t love your suggestion or the first guy you asked out says no doesn’t mean that you are not smart enough or pretty enough.
Acknowledge that even the smartest or prettiest people get rejected at times. The outcome isn’t a reflection of who you truly are.
Remember, you get to define yourself. When you define yourself by the things you aren’t, you strip yourself of the confidence that enables you to do what you want. Why do that when you can be anything you want? So the next time a thought whispers in your mind telling you that you aren’t ‘good enough’ in any way, prove it wrong and take action regardless!
