As tempting as it can sometimes be to argue your point, it’s often a waste of time to do so. People are usually very committed to their ideas and convictions, and nothing that you say will change their minds. If you persist in arguing with them, they will only dig their heels in deeper. They will refuse to listen to you, or they will even twist your words and apply meanings to them that you never intended.
Even worse, the more you argue and debate your points, it can make you appear to be overly aggressive, stubborn, and rigid in your thinking. It can also give the impression that you are not willing to hear other points of view, even if that’s not the case.
A better approach for dealing with stubborn, difficult, or argumentative people is to simply honor their right to think and believe whatever they want. Resist the temptation to correct them. Even if you know without a shred of doubt that they are wrong, be willing to let go of your need to prove it to them.
Unless it’s a situation where someone’s life is in danger, there is no harm in allowing them to have their own viewpoints – even if they differ greatly from yours. Believing that it’s your duty to set them straight will only cause you headaches. You will spend an excessive amount of energy on it when you could apply your energy to more productive activities and aspirations.
Instead, whenever you feel tempted to argue or defend your point, pause for a moment and ask yourself, “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be at peace?” Arguing will never lead to peace, and it only ever causes more strife and hurt feelings.
When you refuse to argue with a fool, you retain your inner peace and balance. You even begin to see the other person more clearly. You may notice that they seem to be insecure and seeking validation from you and others. Or you might recognize that they are trying to make themselves appear to be more knowledgeable and important by diminishing others. Noticing these things will make it easier to avoid getting drawn into a pointless argument with them.
However, if it’s a case where someone is spreading falsehoods about you or verbally attacking you, then it’s understandable that you would want to state the facts and clear up any misconceptions. If you can do this in a calm, dispassionate way rather than a heated argument, your results are bound to be much more beneficial.
If you reach a point where the other person refuses to listen and they are clinging stubbornly to their skewed opinion of you, remind yourself that their behavior likely doesn’t have to do with you. It probably has much more to do with something deeper going on inside of them than anything you might have said or done. This awareness should help you to care less about what they think of you, because you know the truth about who you are. And you will no longer feel the need to justify anything to anyone.
