One summer, I took my 4-year-old niece to the swimming pool. She hadn’t quite learned how to swim and was terrified of the water. But, as we inched our way in, and she witnessed all of the other children playing, she got a little braver and started to go deeper into the shallow end of the pool.
We reached the part where it was about two feet deep, and she let go of my hand. But unfortunately, she lost her balance and went under. I, of course, grabbed her and pulled her back up. But she was so scared when that happened, it was clear irrational fears took over.
She was screaming and kicking, and as I tried to calm her down, I repeated gently, “Baby, put your feet down.” There was a moment through her terrified fit when she finally understood what I was saying, and when this happened, she stopped screaming and put down her feet.
We had a good laugh, and I don’t remember a summer after that incident where she couldn’t swim. But that day, she successfully understood that fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.
Fear affects people differently. Some thrive off it and the adrenaline it provides. And others shutter at the mere mention of it and shut down physically, mentally, and socially. But, in most cases, fear, in all its forms can be debilitating. That’s why it’s good to understand it and find a way to overcome it.
3 Types of Fear
Fear can keep us safe in dire situations and make us react in life-saving ways. However, it can also hold us back and keep us stagnant, so finding a balance is necessary. There are three types of fear that you need to know.
- Rational Fear. This kind of fear means that you are in genuine danger. For example, if someone breaks into your home and you’re scared for your life. Rational fear occurs when you’re in imminent danger.
- Primal Fear. Primal fear is programmed into our brains. For example, if you’re hiking in a forest, and you notice that a bear is chasing you. Or you see a brown recluse spider crawling on your arm. This type of fear is coded into our DNA and makes us act accordingly to protect ourselves.
- Irrational Fear. Irrational fears are things that we have concocted in our minds that don’t make sense. For example, stage fright is a fear based on performance anxiety when speaking or performing in front of a group of people. Despite it being irrational, it’s genuine for people who suffer from this.
Fear Holds You Back
Fear is powerful and complex. Fear can be a dream killer and keep you from reaching your full potential in your career, personal and spiritual life. Whether it’s a fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown, etc., it’s best to try and get a handle on it if you are experiencing stagnation in any way.
So, here’s something to think about: What if you’re not scared of the thing itself? Could it be that you’re afraid of the story you’ve made up in your head about how bad you’re going to bomb, disappoint someone, or fail? And if those things are true, you’re scared of fear, and it’s not real. In a post last year, I wrote about how sometimes the only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself. Perhaps these stories are feeding your feelings of fear and making them bigger.
How To Overcome Fear
There are several ways to start working on overcoming your fears. Whether it’s something small or more grandiose, these tools can help you get on the right track to becoming all that you were meant to be.
- Analyze your fear. Is it rational, primal, or irrational? Is it something you’ve made up or something that stems from trauma? Answering these questions can help you pinpoint why you are feeling it. And understanding the underlying reason why is crucial to overcoming it.
- Breathe. Fear can do a job on the way you think. Steady breathing slows your heart rate down and allows for a more calm state. The calmer you are, the more rational thoughts you cultivate.
- Face your fear. Facing your fear is the ultimate way not to fear an object or situation. The more you avoid your fear, the scarier it becomes. So, diving right into what scares you the most is a great way to show yourself time and time again that you can overcome it.
Remember, our brains are powerful and can create situations that aren’t real. And fear cuts deeper than any sword. But, if our brains are that powerful, we can use them to overcome these fears and anxieties that keep us down, too. Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is…And most of the time, the wolf never exists.
